Story being posted at the request of the brothers over at Wetgolin:
The story begins with Ball Sniffer hitting me up on Facebook chat weeks ago asking how I know one of our mutual friends Natasha (pseudonym). I haven’t logged on to Facebook for weeks by this point, and Ball Sniffer gets in touch with me on Skype to try to extract more information about her. Turns out I know her bff (Natalia, pseudonym) through my best friend from college (Nathaniel, pseudonym) who met her through a foreign students exchange program in Korea and has been orbiting her for about a decade now (he’s now married to another woman but to my knowledge still “hanging out” with her on the reg). So these girls were basically a variation of Russian mail order brides and arrived in the US around age 19, Natalia was able to find a sponsor to marry her for decent compensation and green card while Natasha was not able to and had to resort to a career in the strip club business. I remember her telling me that her fiancee was in international business, but actually turns out he was a bookie in his late 30’s who lived in a pretty shitty apartment in LA but had like 5 luxury cars parked outside his spot as collateral. Just standard LA degen shit. I don’t remember meeting Natasha in person (maybe once or so?) but have hung out with Nathaniel and Natalia bunch of times, and remember finding out that Natasha was a stripper through Nathaniel who told me not to tell Natalia about it. So all of this happened around 2008-2010.
Last time I hung out with Natalia was in early 2016 when I was down in LA for spring break, no update on Natasha. Now fast forward to 2017 February when Ball Sniffer is telling me about Natasha, what I gathered from the conversation was that she had quit her career as a stripper, found a green card sponsor who she married then divorced after getting the card, and is now studying for some license while playing Poker as a hobby in Vegas. Ball Sniffer met her while playing $1/$3 NL holdem, and has been orbiting her ever since as she had friendzoned his 6 ft 7 self due to a lack of career and/or money.
Side trivia on Ball Sniffer: Professional twoplustwo troll during his early days, his first girlfriend one of the mid 30’s woman that used to post on the forums that he drove 1165 miles to meet, and currently looking for a rebound after his last girlfriend (some webcam showgirl) charged him with a felony which was eventually downgraded to a misdemeanor.
So Ball Sniffer tells me he’s in love with her, and after deciding that he’s more of a friend to me than Natasha or Natalia, I tell him about Natasha’s dark past so that maybe he can get a clue and move on. However, as expected based on the weight of his mouth and keyboard, he hits her up on Facebook messenger, and she’s already freaking out as soon as he pops the question “How do you know Sol and Nathaniel?” and after series of dumb questions asks her something like “Would you ever consider stripping if the circumstances called for it?” So she de-friends Ball Sniffer on Facebook, and hits up Nathaniel who apparently declared that I was dead to him according to Ball Sniffer (probably so he doesn’t lose his place in the orbit with Natalia). But honestly the comment affects me 0% because I had been in rock bottom for the last few months, and it was a great opportunity to find out who my true friends were.
Fast forward to today (Valentine’s Day), Ball Sniffer hits me up at 4 AM to brag about how she finally accepted his feelings, and has agreed to go on a date with him. I tell him to stay white, and to not blow too much of his bankroll.
Cliffs:
1. We all live in a yellow submarine
2. Ball Sniffer's evolution from Prewittburgerian beta male to mainstream beta male
3. Moving to Vegas in a few weeks, green reps get to buy me drinks for more of the story
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Originally Posted by Sol
