well, you guys are missing a key thing here: it was for a security deposit....which is MY MONEY. so i wasn't trying to angle being compensated. i was angling to get my own money back.
and it wa years ago. i think the statute of limitations on that one is a bit late if you ask me. Also, this is the internet, i can say anything, and it might not be true. you have no way of verifying it. So yeah. there's that.
either way, I did what I had to do to get my deposit back.
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
So is this a backpedal (that's a bike joke) or is this a tiny rationaliziation (that's a you're small joke)?Originally Posted by LarryLaffer
In defense of young Larry here, I believe it it NOT a crime to impersonate an attorney simply to scare someone with whom you have a dispute.
It is illegal to impersonate an attorney to actually practice law (for example, showing up in court and representing someone) or to charge anyone for your legal services, but not just to say you're an attorney to scare someone.
This falls under a different category than impersonating a police officer, which is always illegal.
The difference here is that an attorney is a legal occupation, but not an authority figure. A police officer is an authority figure. For example, a police office can stand at an intersection and disallow you from traveling down that street, and you have to obey him. A lawyer can never force you to do anything.
This is the reason I have no problem pretending to be Alvin Finklestein, Attorney at Law, on the radio, while I never make prank calls pretending to be a cop (well, except that one time in college that I posted about).
my point all along. If they had simply called the bluff, then id have shut it down. but they didn't. so yeah.
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
Druff, as much as I enjoy your Alvin Finkelstein routine, Tellafriend is correct on the matter when a serious matter. I'll let you google the Interwebs to convince yourself that he is correct that it is illegal.
_____________________________________________
if a tree falls in the forrest and no ones there, did it make a sound?
if i commit a crime and no one calls foul, did i commit a crime?
ok even i know that made no sense.
i'm shutting this one down now.
Back to the trump train thread where the real LOLs are
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
A true fuckin Henry Youngman over here.
I have to ask though, do you routinely act like a 12 year old when dealing with people in real life? or is this like an internet thing.
Like, for instance, is WrenchMonkey a character that you can't play in real life due to social constraints? Like Larry David on Curb?
what about that Minnesota nice thing i hear about? do you not subscribe?
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
you can ALWAYS represent yourself PRO SE. so yes you can practice law on YOUR OWN BEHALF without passing the bar.
also, why is this like a gang up on Larry thread again. I don't get it.
ok i get it
you guys like to make retarded jokes that 12 year olds make about my height.
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
There are some states where it is ambiguously stating that it is "illegal to represent yourself to be an attorney", but these are aimed at phony lawyers who either masquerade as lawyers and practice law for profit, or who use the false title of attorney to either commit fraud or defy fair debt collection laws.Druff, as much as I enjoy your Alvin Finkelstein routine, Tellafriend is correct on the matter when a serious matter. I'll let you google the Interwebs to convince yourself that he is correct that it is illegal.
For example, one state's laws say this:
But again, this is not aimed at the individual faking being an attorney for either prank call lulz or to scare a perceived wrongdoer into treating him fairly. This is aimed at actual phony lawyers who gain from it in some way, likely in repeated fashion.A person shall not practice law or engage in the law business, shall not in any manner whatsoever lead others to believe that he or she is authorized to practice law or to engage in the law business, and shall not in any manner whatsoever represent or designate himself or herself as an attorney and counselor, attorney at law, or lawyer, unless the person is regularly licensed and authorized to practice law in this state.
To my knowledge, there is not a single case in the United States where an individual in a dispute with another individual (or a company) was prosecuted or successfully sued for falsely claiming at some point to be an attorney. That's not why those laws were written, and I don't believe a successful case could ever be brought against anyone doing this in reality.
In Larry's case, some landlord was holding back his security deposit, presumably unfairly. (This is actually quite common.)
Larry pretended to be an attorney in order to scare the guy into treating him more fairly.
The guy then backed down and gave him more of his security deposit back.
Even if the guy figured out he wasn't an attorney, there is a zero point zero chance he could do anything about it. Any judge would laugh at the landlord if he whined in court that Larry said he was an attorney at one point.
The judge would say, "We're in court right now and he's not an attorney. So prove to me why the amount you withheld from his deposit is justified."
is there an ACTUAL lawyer on this site who wants to chime in here.
BUELLER? BUELLER?
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
Ok i'll condceed: it is illegal.
but it was what Younger Larry had to do to get that $$ back.
I bet you all follow the law to a T huh. stop at stop signs, go exactly the speed limit.
point is, we fracture a law or two all the time if we have to.
I saw an opportunity to get my money back, and I took it.
Last time a landlord fucked with me I did lawyer up.
You see, when I got arrested, my crime was orginally a felony. In Chicago, we have a public nuisance act. If the city deems you a PN, they can fine your landlord until you are out. It turns out, the city sent my landlord a letter stating that I was a PN, and that I needed to be out. So i lawyer-ed up, and they found out that he city didn't even know my case had been resolved and was ultimately a misdemeanor (the complaint was on the guys desk for 11 months) So I told my landlord this, about the misunderstanding, but they still wouldn't get over it, and demanded that I leave in 7 days, and that they'd give me my deposit, plus 1k for moving fees etc etc. They did this first in person, then through their lawyer who was a sheisty bastard. Well, I wasn't just gonna up and move at the end of a month and be homeless. So i told them to go fuck themselves. You wanna go to court? Lets go. The entire time i'll fuckin' be here, not paying rent. You want that?They also tried to claim I caused the city inspector to come by and fine them 10k for building violations. I laughed at that as well because it was bull shit. They backed down immediately. In fact, a few months later, they offered me the same deal, this time with plenty of time to find a new place. So i took it, and luck boxed into where i live now, a block away for $200 more and an apartment double the size with all the amenities.
point is: when dealing with landlords in any city, you gotta pull out all the stops. 9 years ago when I duped the landlord, I felt it was what I had to do. if they lawyer-ed up, then i'd have backed down. But they didn't.
so yeah, i'll fracture the law when someones being a fuckwad. any day of the week.
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
We do have a few attorneys who post here.
I'm afraid the answer here will be ambiguous, because they can probably point to certain scary-looking statutes which make it illegal to impersonate an attorney, but I strongly believe those statutes are not being aimed at the individual trying to defend himself against perceived wrongdoing.
That's why, rather than asking for laws on the books against impersonating attorneys, I am looking for a single case which was successfully brought against someone in a spot similar to Larry's who impersonated an attorney.
Let's say I catch my neighbor walking his dog to my lawn every day and letting the dog shit on it. If I say to him, "I'm an attorney, and if you keep doing this with your dog, I will bring all kinds of lawsuits against you for it", there's no chance the guy can successfully sue me or get me prosecuted for claiming this. If he took me to court, the judge would tell him to stop letting his dog shit on my lawn, and to GTFO of there.
In the case of minor violations, there tends to be a rather large gap between the written law and what could actually be brought successfully through the court system.
What you see is pretty much what you get. I thoroughly enjoy fucking around, and I am lucky enough to work for a guy who thoroughly enjoys fucking around. So we pretty much fuck around nonstop. Example. We had a tech who was given a repair order to replace the high voltage battery in a (as Mumblefuck would call it) Honda Prius. Even though it was a Toyota Prius, we'll go with Mumblefuck's version for the sake of, well, fucking around. So this tech read that you need special tools and special gloves and special this and that to do this job "safely" and "correctly". Whatever place he read all this also said that he should lock out the car, and put a sign on the drivers door window that only he (the tech) or the shop manager should go near this vehicle while the repairs were being completed. So this numb nuts called up Toyota and ordered up a set of special tools and gloves to change out this battery, on the company account. El Jefe got wind of this and pulled me aside and told me to handle it.
A true fuckin Henry Youngman over here.
I have to ask though, do you routinely act like a 12 year old when dealing with people in real life? or is this like an internet thing.
Like, for instance, is WrenchMonkey a character that you can't play in real life due to social constraints? Like Larry David on Curb?
what about that Minnesota nice thing i hear about? do you not subscribe?
So after numb nuts went home for the day, I changed the high voltage battery with the help of another coworker (they're heavy as fuck) and regular old american steel tools, in about 20 minutes. Then I went out to our local farm/fleet store and bought some supplies, and did this:
The battery I replaced is directly in front of the vehicle on the ground. In all reality, all those years of playing Operation as a kid led me up to this crowning achievement of not touching anything other than what you're trying to replace. As long as you don't short yourself out, you'll be fine.
The boss couldn't look at me straight for about a week without cracking up, almost every one of the shop's desktop displays had this pic set as the background and the numb nuts tech just kept telling me I'm crazy. He didn't last long, fwiw, and last I heard he's working at a junkyard dismantling cars.
As for Minnesota nice...it's a rule. But that doesn't mean we can't fuck around. I'm sure I'd buy you lunch if you ever made it up this way. I'd also be obligated to make more than one tiny joke. I still tell one of my best friends (he's 5' 5") to 'stand up when you're talking to me' often.
With that said, I can tell you that many tenants are complete assholes, and often feel entitled to "rights" they do not have.
There are also terrible/unethical landlords.
However, by my own estimation, in disputes between landlord and tenant, I'd say in about 3 of 4 cases, the landlord is probably in the right.
One very common scam by tenants is to find some minor problem with the unit and claim that it makes the place "uninhabitable", and then they refuse to pay rent until it's completely resolved. Another is to jump on any routine maintenance problem and use that as an excuse to break the lease. For example, a guy has a lease until February 2017 and lives in Los Angeles, but gets a job offer in Austin, Texas. He realizes he's fucked, so the next time the building has a plumbing issue that takes 1-2 days to fix, he claims that the unit is uninhabitable and needs to break the lease, when in reality he's just trying to get out of it for his own purposes.
There's all kinds of sneaky shit that tenants try to pull. Sometimes they know they're being scummy, and sometimes they actually delude themselves into believing they have "rights" they don't actually have.
Don't get me wrong, there are awful landlords, too. I once helped a friend deal with a landlord where the roof leaked, the carpet got ruined, and the landlord tried to bully the TENANT (my friend) into paying for the replacement carpet! The justification? "You're getting the benefit of the new carpet, not me!" LOL
Anyway, I'm not judging Larry here, but you do need to take these evil landlord stories with a grain of salt.
What you see is pretty much what you get. I thoroughly enjoy fucking around, and I am lucky enough to work for a guy who thoroughly enjoys fucking around. So we pretty much fuck around nonstop. Example. We had a tech who was given a repair order to replace the high voltage battery in a (as Mumblefuck would call it) Honda Prius. Even though it was a Toyota Prius, we'll go with Mumblefuck's version for the sake of, well, fucking around. So this tech read that you need special tools and special gloves and special this and that to do this job "safely" and "correctly". Whatever place he read all this also said that he should lock out the car, and put a sign on the drivers door window that only he (the tech) or the shop manager should go near this vehicle while the repairs were being completed. So this numb nuts called up Toyota and ordered up a set of special tools and gloves to change out this battery, on the company account. El Jefe got wind of this and pulled me aside and told me to handle it.
So after numb nuts went home for the day, I changed the high voltage battery with the help of another coworker (they're heavy as fuck) and regular old american steel tools, in about 20 minutes. Then I went out to our local farm/fleet store and bought some supplies, and did this:
The battery I replaced is directly in front of the vehicle on the ground. In all reality, all those years of playing Operation as a kid led me up to this crowning achievement of not touching anything other than what you're trying to replace. As long as you don't short yourself out, you'll be fine.
The boss couldn't look at me straight for about a week without cracking up, almost every one of the shop's desktop displays had this pic set as the background and the numb nuts tech just kept telling me I'm crazy. He didn't last long, fwiw, and last I heard he's working at a junkyard dismantling cars.
As for Minnesota nice...it's a rule. But that doesn't mean we can't fuck around. I'm sure I'd buy you lunch if you ever made it up this way. I'd also be obligated to make more than one tiny joke. I still tell one of my best friends (he's 5' 5") to 'stand up when you're talking to me' often.
I'm big in the bike messenger scene in minneapolis. I'm known far and wide up there lol. it's a small place. I do visit quite often (not anymore since resloving my case).
If you live in minneapolis, I'm sure you know of the giant race super bowl weekend that gets 200+ people and isn't sanctioned by any sort of anything. But the city lets it go. Minneapolis nice is what I call that.
And i dig the jokes, I do find them funny. I find that story funny. I'm actually starting to work for my mechanic quite regularly doing body work. yesterday i helped change a transmission. few months ago i helped change the front suspension on my A4.
it's nice to know i can go there, use his lift, his tools, and all i have to do is by him some Polish beer (he's straight from Poland lol).
we're working to get my probation terminated early (even with the violations) so maybe i'll roll up there, and we can play 8/16 half kill at CBury. its my favorite game that's never spread anywhere but there.
Cheers Wrench
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
I was a great tenant. they were surprised the city did that. But here, some people are just afraid to fuck with city hall. But when I proved that they were wrong, and they still persisted in threatening me, that's when I got nasty.
"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."
George Steinbrenner
Damn, you are a slow-witted little fuck. 3 pages of your little diatribe all to reach this. You must impress your bicycle friends with how smart you are.
As for the difference b/n probation and parole, yeah, I understand. I just didn't care enough to read back through your little story to see which one fit. Recall, you were lying in that little report as I pointed out; one doesn't go to federal court for such little charges.
Little, get it?
We do have a few attorneys who post here.
I'm afraid the answer here will be ambiguous, because they can probably point to certain scary-looking statutes which make it illegal to impersonate an attorney, but I strongly believe those statutes are not being aimed at the individual trying to defend himself against perceived wrongdoing.
That's why, rather than asking for laws on the books against impersonating attorneys, I am looking for a single case which was successfully brought against someone in a spot similar to Larry's who impersonated an attorney.
Let's say I catch my neighbor walking his dog to my lawn every day and letting the dog shit on it. If I say to him, "I'm an attorney, and if you keep doing this with your dog, I will bring all kinds of lawsuits against you for it", there's no chance the guy can successfully sue me or get me prosecuted for claiming this. If he took me to court, the judge would tell him to stop letting his dog shit on my lawn, and to GTFO of there.
In the case of minor violations, there tends to be a rather large gap between the written law and what could actually be brought successfully through the court system.
Druff - there is nothing ambiguous about the statutes; you can try all you like to rationalize it if it makes you feel better about your prank calls --which I enjoy btw. There is a big difference b/n something being illegal - which was all I said -- and something being actually prosecuted, which is what you are trying to say.
I dunno about where Larry lives, but here in cali it's a crime to hold yourself out as an atty when you aren't one, regardless of whether you appear in court.
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