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Thread: Extremely Official Rio Olympics Apocalypse Thread

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Extremely Official Rio Olympics Apocalypse Thread

    Lets get this party started on the right note:


    A jaguar featured at an Olympic torch ceremony was shot dead by a soldier shortly after the event in the Brazilian Amazon city of Manaus as the animal escaped from its handlers, an army statement said.

    The jaguar was killed Monday at a zoo attached to a military training center, when a soldier fired a single pistol shot after the animal, despite being tranquilized, approached the soldier, the army said.

    “We made a mistake in permitting the Olympic torch, a symbol of peace and unity, to be exhibited alongside a chained wild animal. This image goes against our beliefs and our values,” the local organizing committee Rio 2016 said in a statement, adding "We guarantee that there will be no more such incidents at Rio 2016.”

    A smiling yellow jaguar known as Ginga is the mascot of the Brazilian Olympic team.

    The shooting caused uproar among animal rights groups, which questioned why the animal was involved in the Olympic event.

    "When will people (and institutions) stop with this sick need to show power and control by confining, taming and showcasing wild animals?" the Rio de Janeiro-based animal rights group Animal Freedom Union said on its Facebook page.

    The jaguar is a nearly threatened species that has already been wiped out in Uruguay and El Salvador, according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature.

    The use of Juma, as the jaguar was known, at the event was illegal, according to Ipaam, the Amazonas state government environmental authority that oversees the use of wild animals.

    "No request was made to authorize the participation of the jaguar "Juma" in the event of the Olympic torch," Ipaam said in a statement.

    Ipaam said it is investigating the incident.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Master of Props Daly's Avatar
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    This thread is about 6 months too late. It's going to be a shit show.

    Half the Russian delegation got bounced from the Olympics and they basically said "great, now we don't have to go".

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    Master of Props Daly's Avatar
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    "We guarantee that there will be no more such incidents at Rio 2016.”

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    Gold GambleBotsSatire's Avatar
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    anybody have an o/u on the number of olympic village orgy zika babies that will be popping up in 2017

     
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      ToasterOven: solid lol

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    I expect it would be less ruinous to an athletes career to intentionally piss hot and get bumped than to go to Rio and come home with mosquito plague or some awful Brazilian raw shit disease.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Gold Charham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    Lets get this party started on the right note:


    A jaguar featured at an Olympic torch ceremony was shot dead by a soldier shortly after the event in the Brazilian Amazon city of Manaus as the animal escaped from its handlers, an army statement said.

    The jaguar was killed Monday at a zoo attached to a military training center, when a soldier fired a single pistol shot after the animal, despite being tranquilized, approached the soldier, the army said.

    “We made a mistake in permitting the Olympic torch, a symbol of peace and unity, to be exhibited alongside a chained wild animal. This image goes against our beliefs and our values,” the local organizing committee Rio 2016 said in a statement, adding "We guarantee that there will be no more such incidents at Rio 2016.”

    A smiling yellow jaguar known as Ginga is the mascot of the Brazilian Olympic team.

    The shooting caused uproar among animal rights groups, which questioned why the animal was involved in the Olympic event.

    "When will people (and institutions) stop with this sick need to show power and control by confining, taming and showcasing wild animals?" the Rio de Janeiro-based animal rights group Animal Freedom Union said on its Facebook page.

    The jaguar is a nearly threatened species that has already been wiped out in Uruguay and El Salvador, according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature.

    The use of Juma, as the jaguar was known, at the event was illegal, according to Ipaam, the Amazonas state government environmental authority that oversees the use of wild animals.

    "No request was made to authorize the participation of the jaguar "Juma" in the event of the Olympic torch," Ipaam said in a statement.

    Ipaam said it is investigating the incident.
    They killed the mascot! yikes. Just saw a para olympic gold medalist mugged. Not sure what it would take, but good free event tickets wouldn't even start to get me anywhere near this shit show.

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    Plutonium big dick's Avatar
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    chicago should be hosting the 2016 games, joke that rio got it in the 1st place.

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    Master of Props Daly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by big dick View Post
    chicago should be hosting the 2016 games, joke that rio got it in the 1st place.

    Be less murders..... Barely.

     
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      ToasterOven: coinflip
      
      bukowski72: I think you are forgetting to count the poor people the deaths squads will take out before the tourists show up.

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    Gold GambleBotsSatire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by big dick View Post
    chicago should be hosting the 2016 games, joke that rio got it in the 1st place.

    Be less murders..... Barely.
    the ioc knew that drk would be insufferable if the olympics were in chicago, they would have given it to baghdad to stop drk from being terrible

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    These olympics will 100% be a complete unmitigated disaster. I mean we could be talking about some seriously crazy shit happening from no one wanting to go, to just complete chaos for the people who do end up (risking their lives) and going.

    Can't wait!

     
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      RegGaymer: zzzzz

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Like just for starters, this could easily be another Munich 1972.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    One Percenter Pooh's Avatar
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    Concerning Zika, if these were the winter games we'd have a fighting chance. But considering the summer games are full of niggers with zero regard for human life as it is we are royally fucked. The diseased niggers will come back and spread the zika virus like its the fucking plague.

    I can't wait to see what these dumb nigger bitches start shitting out Spring/Summer 2017.

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    Flight and hotel booked for Rio. CEO personally paying for a few of us to go as a colleague is participating. About 8 of us going...including CEO. I want to bail and live. What do I do?

     
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      hongkonger: BPD cameo rep

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    Photoballer 4Dragons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigPoppaDump View Post
    Flight and hotel booked for Rio. CEO personally paying for a few of us to go as a colleague is participating. About 8 of us going...including CEO. I want to bail and live. What do I do?
    Bathe in military grade DEET.

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    Gold Charham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4Dragons View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BigPoppaDump View Post
    Flight and hotel booked for Rio. CEO personally paying for a few of us to go as a colleague is participating. About 8 of us going...including CEO. I want to bail and live. What do I do?
    Bathe in military grade DEET.
    and plan on no children

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    Diamond hongkonger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charham View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    Lets get this party started on the right note:


    A jaguar featured at an Olympic torch ceremony was shot dead by a soldier shortly after the event in the Brazilian Amazon city of Manaus as the animal escaped from its handlers, an army statement said.

    The jaguar was killed Monday at a zoo attached to a military training center, when a soldier fired a single pistol shot after the animal, despite being tranquilized, approached the soldier, the army said.

    “We made a mistake in permitting the Olympic torch, a symbol of peace and unity, to be exhibited alongside a chained wild animal. This image goes against our beliefs and our values,” the local organizing committee Rio 2016 said in a statement, adding "We guarantee that there will be no more such incidents at Rio 2016.”

    A smiling yellow jaguar known as Ginga is the mascot of the Brazilian Olympic team.

    The shooting caused uproar among animal rights groups, which questioned why the animal was involved in the Olympic event.

    "When will people (and institutions) stop with this sick need to show power and control by confining, taming and showcasing wild animals?" the Rio de Janeiro-based animal rights group Animal Freedom Union said on its Facebook page.

    The jaguar is a nearly threatened species that has already been wiped out in Uruguay and El Salvador, according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature.

    The use of Juma, as the jaguar was known, at the event was illegal, according to Ipaam, the Amazonas state government environmental authority that oversees the use of wild animals.

    "No request was made to authorize the participation of the jaguar "Juma" in the event of the Olympic torch," Ipaam said in a statement.

    Ipaam said it is investigating the incident.
    They killed the mascot! yikes. Just saw a para olympic gold medalist mugged. Not sure what it would take, but good free event tickets wouldn't even start to get me anywhere near this shit show.
    Someone robbed a cripple?


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    Diamond hongkonger's Avatar
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    Let's not forget that Brazil, for all its praise as an up-and-coming nation, anointed status as a good investment as one of the BRICs, and arbiter of pubic hair styling, is still the same filthy, dangerous, overpopulated third world shithole it always has been. The Olympics shouldn't be held in such places.

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    oh you know, just more Brazil things....



    Name:  Screen-Shot-2016-06-21-at-11.26.30-AM.jpg
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    Daily Mail – A shooter takes aim at a line of unsuspecting cars filing along the main road into Rio de Janeiro in a scene that should terrify every athlete and visitor to the Olympics this summer.

    The road is the Red Line, Rio’s main highway and the only route into Brazil’s Olympic city along which will every sports fan, athletics delegation and foreign dignitary will travel to get to the mega-event.

    The 13-mile express way runs from Rio’s international airport into the city, and is in the most part lined with sprawling favela shanty towns which are dangerous no-go zones controlled by heavily-armed drugs gangs.

    With just seven weeks to go before the Olympic party kicks off, the image – posted by bragging bandits on social media yesterday – shows that, despite promises to clean up the city’s crime-ridden slums, gangsters appear to be still firmly in control.

    Experts expressed amazement at how the gangs could get hold of what appears to be an AR-15 gun, complete with a state-of-the-art holographic sight, which even the Brazilian army don’t possess.

    Most alarmingly, though, with the favelas out of bounds, even for the police, the shooter and his powerful weapon may still be there when VIPs and sports stars start arriving for the Games.



    Doing PR for Rio has got to be the worst job in the world at this point right? I mean there’s no chance every single person associated with hyping up the city for the Olympics hasn’t packed their shit and quit? Just an absolute nightmare. Seriously read that Daily Mail article. Basically every person who ever steps foot in Rio gets shot in the head, and I’m only slightly exaggerating. Because this gang member casually posting up on the overpass with an AR-15 and opening fire wasn’t just some planned out attack, apparently it’s like a weekly occurrence.

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    Gold Shizzmoney's Avatar
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      MumblesBadly: It's the next level up of fail from Sochi. (Way up.)
    http://www.miraclecovers.com

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