Originally Posted by
sonatine
Mumbles pushed the bathroom door open, absently straightening his tie. He had fallen asleep in History of Magic. Surprise, surprise. Half the class had fallen asleep. He was groggy and irritable now. In fact, being in Eighth Year was making him irritable. Why on Earth had he been sent back to school?
He must have sadistic parents. Just saying.
He shook his head, resigned. He dropped his bag on the ground and shifted away his robe as he undid the zipper on his trousers.
Don't worry. I wouldn't dream of peeking.
He relaxed once the pressure in his bladder was relieved. He sighed quietly. Then he tilted his head when he heard hurried breathing and shuffling.
Behind the closed door on the fifth stall, Harry Potter was pushed against Michael Corner with tangled tongues and firm arms. They exhaled together, lost in their own worlds.
Mumbles grimaced and whipped his head forward. Revolted, he quickly finished up. The boys in the stall seemed in no hurry to stop. Mumbles was privy to the satisfied moans and wet sounds of lips on lips. He stalked to the sinks and ran the water, hoping to drag the two out of it. Unfortunately, they took the rush of water to mean that they could moan louder.
Harry smiled as Michael let out a soft growl. He could hear the water running. And he knew how much of an exhibitionist Michael was.
What a dog…
Mumbles stared at his repulsed reflection as he washed his hands. He didn't understand homosexuality.
Why would a man want to date another man?
How were they supposed to procreate?
Was it to quell perverted fantasies?
Most likely.
He shut off the faucet and moved to grab his bag.
"Mmm…"
Mumbles froze. His eyes traveled to the fifth stall without his consent.
Harry was on his toes as he arched into Michael's demanding lips. Michael dropped his arms to Harry's waist.
Mumbles saw the feet swaying carelessly by the ankles of the other. A breathless laugh escaped the stall. Mumbles blinked. He straightened up in a flash, shouldering his bag.
"You're really good," a whisper sounded. Mumbles gagged, moving to the door.
"I've practiced," came the answer. Mumbles shook his head in disbelief.
As did I. Was that any way to talk to a beau? Boast about past exploits?
"Hmm," was the reply. "Nothing to brag about." Mumbles recognized that voice.
"Then I guess I'll just have to brag about this, Harry."
Which was followed by an impassioned moan.
And Mumbles's jaw dropped.
That was Potter.
Potter was moaning like a lovesick girl.
What?
What the hell?
The Harry Potter!
Mumbles rushed out of the bathroom, darkening.
Can't say I blame him…
During dinner, Mumbles had to try quite hard to stop from staring at Harry. From the looks of it, his respect for Harry had dropped considerably after the chance encounter. How degrading was it to be reduced to a spineless tool Corner used to fulfill his daily quota of snogs? How pathetic of Potter to stoop to levels so low? Mumbles shuddered in revulsion. Potter was a nobody in Mumbles's eyes. Once again.
"You alright?" Theo asked.
Mumbles responded with a smug sniff. "Just thinking," he answered.
In fact, he couldn't believe that the rest of the school hadn't lost their respect of Harry too. How could they watch Potter be part of a homosexual relationship? Where was the press? Where were the Howlers? Where was the publicity and outrage?
Being the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice had a few positive aspects. Potter could do no wrong.
Mumbles had been staying away from Harry for months, not sure what an accidental meeting could cause. But this was such good fodder for insults. Mumbles restrained himself. He was already on the watch list. Getting on Potter's bad side would only spell trouble. Besides, Potter wasn't worth it.
Let the man ruin his name with that Ravenclaw bastard.
Mumbles met Harry's gaze.
Harry noticed the initial shock in Mumbles's expression change to a look of disgust. "Typical," he muttered. "He hasn't changed a bit, has he?"
"Well… He has stopped talking to us," Hermione noted. "Thank goodness.'
"No kidding," Ron agreed.
"I thought he'd have grown up like everyone else, you know?" Harry said, looking away. "I did keep him out of Azkaban, didn't I?"
"Once a Mumbles, always an ponce," Seamus quipped, causing a soft torrent of chuckles.
Harry wasn't paying attention as he rounded the corner in his hurry to get to his common room. He bumped into Mumbles. The two split as though they had touched plague.
"Mumbles," Harry said grimly, glowering at the Slytherin.
"Couldn't find your precious boyfriend to grope?" Mumbles responded, returning the glare.
Harry snorted in derision. "Wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole, ferret," he said bitterly, sidestepping Mumbles and stomping away.
Mumbles muttered profanities under his breath as he walked away.
And thus, four months of mutual silence was broken.
Oh goody!
Potter and Mumbles were at each other's throats.
Not literally. Would be quite a sight…
It was worse than before the war. No Dark Lord to fear, no pressures from family, and no more unwritten rules to follow. The words they fought with were underhanded and highly entertaining to listen to. Anything from family, marks, friends, and body parts were under fire.
"You're a bloody blast-ended skank, Potter."
"I'm not the one going around kissing the arses of bloody blast-ended skanks."
"I'm sure you know all about arse kissing!"
"Not as much as you know about getting your arse kicked! Fuck off, Mumbles."
"Gonna go cry to your boyfriend, are you?"
"At least I'm getting some! I bet you've been high and dry for eighteen years. Still a virgin, ferret?"
"I don't need anything up my arse to make my day, Scarhead."
"Oh, no? I could have sworn I had heard you fapping in your dungeon. Nothing up your arse? Impressive."
"Just because you have a dead father doesn't mean you have to find a replacement to call 'Daddy'."
"Oh, that does it!"
Then came the fists, blood, gore, and detentions.
I rather enjoyed these exchanges. Took avid notes. Must say, my vocabulary increased dramatically.
Michael got out of the relationship faster than a Wronski Feint. If being with Harry meant having to endure insults from Mumbles, he wasn't about to risk his ego or his reputation.
"You're… breaking up?" Harry asked, perplexed.
"It's not you. It's me."
Harry's eyes narrowed. Wasn't that the same line he had used on Ginny? "Really?" he asked deliberately.
"Absolutely," Michael said with as much sincerity as he could muster.
"What about you would make you want to break up with me?" Harry asked, leaning in with mock interest.
Michael looked entirely too guilty. "Um… er… that is… you– and I… we… I mean…"
Harry rolled his eyes before leaving Michael to stammer all by himself.
Yes. Breakups can be that easy. You should try it sometime.
Mumbles clicked his tongue in frustration, putting down his book. "You guys seriously have nothing better to do than discuss Potter's love life?" he asked his dorm mates. They stared at him as blankly for a moment before returning to gossiping like old spinsters. Mumbles huffed indignantly, trying quite hard to ignore the words.
"Anyway, I heard Corner wasn't all that exclusive. Potter must've found out," Blaise said conspiringly. "Know who else was involved?"
"You're so full of bull," Theo exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. "I heard they split without bad blood."
Blaise snorted in derision. "Ever heard of a split without bad blood? No. Something went wrong, obviously. Maybe Potter's a bad lay."
Adrian chocked on his drink, sputtering over the table. "What the hell? Maybe Corner was the bad lay," he said, feeling defensive.
Mumbles stuck his fingers into his ears. This was a rather uncomfortable situation, talking about Potter's prowess in bed. It was not something Mumbles liked being caught in the periphery of. He scowled at the words on the page.
"Corner's got a black book as thick as our Transfigurations notes. He's a pretty good lay," Blaise informed them.
Theo grimaced. "Wait, wait, wait! How would you know?" he asked quickly.
Blaise looked coy. "Oh, I have an eye for these things."
Adrian gagged with Theo, turning green. "Please, never explain. Ever."
"So, it's Potter. Besides, Potter's had… what, two girlfriends? Girlfriends. In the past eighteen years. Pathetic. He's a broken egg," Blaise said with finality.
"But… it's Potter, you know?" Theo said, thoughtful. "I mean… Harry Potter. He is supposed to be the ideal guy."
"Obviously not in bed."
Mumbles jumped to his feet, done with the conversation he wasn't even a part of. He looked daggers at his friends as he packed up his bag. Then he marched out the library without another word.
"What's his problem?" Theo asked, looking after the fair-haired Slytherin.
"Potter's his property," Blaise said nonchalantly, causing Adrian to choke on his drink again.
Yes… My heart skipped a beat too.
Trust Professor Flitwick to pair Harry and Mumbles together for the duration of the lesson. They were to practice the Disillusionment Charm, casting it on each other. Anyone with half the wit would know that Harry and Mumbles would end up murdering each other before the end of class. Apparently, Professor Flitwick was a half-wit.
"I'll hex your teeth off if you try anything funny, Mumbles," Harry muttered, keeping his voice low.
"I suppose that's the extent of your magic," Mumbles responded.
"I'm not the one riding on coattails. I can defend myself."
"By hexing my teeth off. What'll that stop me from doing? Biting you?" Mumbles asked, cocking up a brow.
"Ugh. Keep your wet dreams to yourself," Harry said, shuddering.
Mumbles scowled.
Aren't all eighteen-year-old men the same way?
Mumbles tapped his wand on Harry's head and muttered the charm vehemently. Harry yelped as a shock of electricity passed through him. He shoved Mumbles back, causing the latter to stumble into the chair awkwardly. "Watch it!" Harry growled, massaging his neck.
"Mr. Mumbles," Professor Flitwick interrupted before Mumbles could retort. "You need to add a slight twitch with your wrist as you are tapping the wand on Mr. Potter's head. Remember that and you'll do fine."
Mumbles muttered curses under his breath as he stood upright. The rest of the class rolled their eyes, ignoring the interruption. They left the Slytherin and Gryffindor to fight it out in the back of the classroom, returning to their own lesson. Mumbles waited until the professor was out of earshot to shove Harry in turn. "I hope that hurt, fucktard," he hissed.
Harry gripped his wand and gritted his teeth. "I'll show you how much it hurt," he answered, rapping Mumbles over the head and uttering the charm. Mumbles jumped from the electric shock, staggering away from Harry. "Happy?" Harry asked smugly.
Mumbles took a deep breath to stop from casting a Cruciatus Curse on Harry. He stepped up and dealt Harry the shocking charm again. Harry's knees nearly buckled under the magnitude of electricity flowing through him. He leaned against the wall, heaving and clenching his jaw to keep from spewing loud profanity at Mumbles. "Guess I forgot to add that twitch again," Mumbles noted absently, shrugging.
Harry lunged at Mumbles, nearly whacking his wand against the platinum hair as he spat out the charm. Mumbles did fall to his knees, winded. The hair on his neck stood on end and crackling pain shot to his fingertips. Harry knelt beside Mumbles and said, "Guess I forgot too."
Mumbles snarled, raising his wand in a flash. Harry's fingers wrapped around Mumbles's wrist. Mumbles's arm was twisted behind him before he could blink. Harry was inches from him. Mumbles's murderous expression smoothed to bewilderment. He tried to push Harry back with his free hand. "Fuck. Off," he said, his words tense and angered.
Harry smiled sweetly. "Is that any way to talk to the Boy-Who-Lived, Mumbles?" he asked, bending Mumbles's arm backward.
"Ah," Mumbles gasped, wincing as his shoulder protested the strain. "What the fuck, Potter?" he asked in terror.
"Oh, I don't know. How about you stop fucking with me?" Harry muttered. "Or do you want everyone to see you like this?" He finished that question with another sharp tug to Mumbles's arm.
Mumbles stifled his shout of pain by biting his lip. "Potter," Mumbles tried to threaten, his voice giving way halfway through. Harry let go of Mumbles's wrist. Mumbles sagged in relief, letting go of Harry. This was humiliation at its best. Mumbles was quelled by his sworn nemesis with a mere twist of the arm. His face flushed in rage and embarrassment.
Harry was fascinated.
Mumbles's eyes were downturned so all Harry could see were the fanned lashes that hid mercury irises. The pale face was flushed pink. And the anger Harry had seen was unbidden. Mumbles was a rather handsome man.
Um… Yeah… No kidding, Watson.
Harry got up and jerked Mumbles onto his feet. "Gonna whine about it?" he asked sarcastically. Mumbles turned his rage-filled eyes to Harry again, keeping mum. No matter what he said, Potter seemed to have the upper hand. So might as well say nothing. And keep whatever dignity he had intact. Harry eyed Mumbles for a beat longer before saying, "Try the charm again."
Mumbles swallowed hard, raising his wand with his throbbing arm. He added the twitch as he uttered the charm. Harry faded away, starting from the head and ending at the toes of his shoes. Mumbles relaxed considerably. At least he didn't have to look at Potter now.
Harry noticed Mumbles's shoulders relaxing once the spell worked. He looked down at himself, fascinated at being able to see nothing. "Weird," he murmured. He looked up at Mumbles, who was looking through him without expression. Harry felt a slow smirk growing on his face. "It's quite hard to judge distance," he said to Mumbles as he reached out. His hand pressed against Mumbles's chest. Mumbles moved back quickly, eyes wide. Harry wondered what that look meant. He took a step forward, feeling for Mumbles again. "Where are you going?" he asked.
"I don't want your filthy hands on me," Mumbles spat out.
Harry's smirk widened. "Oh?" he asked. He knew he was in command. Mumbles was quite obviously terrified of him. He latched onto Mumbles's tie and tugged him forward. Mumbles tripped over his feet as he moved against his will. "You're that much of a homophobe?" Harry asked.
Mumbles froze when he felt Harry's fingers drag up to his neck. He kneed Harry blindly, catching the Gryffindor/Slytherin in the stomach. "Get away from me, you freak," Mumbles said breathlessly.
Harry coughed, heaving. He kept his eyes on Mumbles's stubbornly set jaws and clenched fists. He smiled faintly, rubbing his sore tummy. Mumbles would do.
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