Honestly tydepoker being a thing was so hilarious so respect mort you guys
Honestly tydepoker being a thing was so hilarious so respect mort you guys
Simp, you'r just ol' school hatin' on the Mumbles. It's time you started swinging with the new crowd.Originally Posted by simpdog
Take it away, Jimmy!
_____________________________________________
can anyone say they are really surprised that Mumbles is actually Sonny?
"Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky
"America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs
Thanks for the expert analysis.
I'm actually surprised you are providing us with this advanced strategy advice for free, rather than selling books or training videos.
Today we all learned that you can't win a poker tournament without luck.
I think he should be quarantined to the "bathroom wall" just in case.
Props to Todd for not banning me ITT
He hung in there like Action Jackson
Sincerely,
Bob Freebie
RIP kilowatt .. .you will be missed
(sniff sniff)
Thanks for the expert analysis.
I'm actually surprised you are providing us with this advanced strategy advice for free, rather than selling books or training videos.
Today we all learned that you can't win a poker tournament without luck.
No thank you.
I too hope to one day hit the tournament lotto and quit my job so i can live my life on the internet all day, chatting with hookers in poker site chat boxes, living the glamorous life of cutting pizza coupons, sitting at poker bot machines, and only visiting parts of the country where there's a Ceasars property near by so i can cash in my free hotel room comp. You are living the dream todd, I am so envious. YOU should be charging US to access your vast knowledge on whoring credit card bonuses, how to get a burger at an in and out 5 minutes before closing, and the proper way to spin a seat cover. You sir are a treasure of knowledge to this community, I can only hope that one day i too can convince an ex high-school prom queen to bare my child, even tho i look like a pasty version of lurch. Maybe when she sees the bmw and the jew bankroll she will be convinced.
dude what's your problem man? Why all the hate? the guy lets us into his life and talks to us candidly about things he feels are reverent and interesting to all of us for free, he doesn't ask for money for anything ever and he esgros and distributes free role money as best he can with out complaining. your GUESSING about what you think his poker nut is and how he spends his free time. unless he tells us its none of your's or our business.
No thank you.
I too hope to one day hit the tournament lotto and quit my job so i can live my life on the internet all day, chatting with hookers in poker site chat boxes, living the glamorous life of cutting pizza coupons, sitting at poker bot machines, and only visiting parts of the country where there's a Ceasars property near by so i can cash in my free hotel room comp. You are living the dream todd, I am so envious. YOU should be charging US to access your vast knowledge on whoring credit card bonuses, how to get a burger at an in and out 5 minutes before closing, and the proper way to spin a seat cover. You sir are a treasure of knowledge to this community, I can only hope that one day i too can convince an ex high-school prom queen to bare my child, even tho i look like a pasty version of lurch. Maybe when she sees the bmw and the jew bankroll she will be convinced.
you got some problems son, grow up a bit, reread what you wrote and come back and apologies for being a douche.
mint jelly boy.
all hail Hydra
Originally Posted by DanDruff:Since I'm a 6'2" Republican with an average-sized nose and a last name which doesn't end with "stein", "man", or "berg", I can hide among the goyim and remain undetected unless I open my mouth about money matters.
No thank you.
I too hope to one day hit the tournament lotto and quit my job so i can live my life on the internet all day, chatting with hookers in poker site chat boxes, living the glamorous life of cutting pizza coupons, sitting at poker bot machines, and only visiting parts of the country where there's a Ceasars property near by so i can cash in my free hotel room comp. You are living the dream todd, I am so envious. YOU should be charging US to access your vast knowledge on whoring credit card bonuses, how to get a burger at an in and out 5 minutes before closing, and the proper way to spin a seat cover. You sir are a treasure of knowledge to this community, I can only hope that one day i too can convince an ex high-school prom queen to bare my child, even tho i look like a pasty version of lurch. Maybe when she sees the bmw and the jew bankroll she will be convinced.
Holy shit
Todd let's hijack this thread and you can tell us more about your wsop bracelet win
Todd let's hijack this thread and you can tell us more about your wsop bracelet win
You're right.dude what's your problem man? Why all the hate? the guy lets us into his life and talks to us candidly about things he feels are reverent and interesting to all of us for free, he doesn't ask for money for anything ever and he esgros and distributes free role money as best he can with out complaining. your GUESSING about what you think his poker nut is and how he spends his free time. unless he tells us its none of your's or our business.
you got some problems son, grow up a bit, reread what you wrote and come back and apologies for being a douche.
mint jelly boy.
I'm sorry, I'll save it for the roast
Mintjewlips for thread MVP
Look at this guy, listening to every word I say for 7 hours per week on the radio show just so he can regurgitate it back on the forum like a champ.
No thank you.
I too hope to one day hit the tournament lotto and quit my job so i can live my life on the internet all day, chatting with hookers in poker site chat boxes, living the glamorous life of cutting pizza coupons, sitting at poker bot machines, and only visiting parts of the country where there's a Ceasars property near by so i can cash in my free hotel room comp. You are living the dream todd, I am so envious. YOU should be charging US to access your vast knowledge on whoring credit card bonuses, how to get a burger at an in and out 5 minutes before closing, and the proper way to spin a seat cover. You sir are a treasure of knowledge to this community, I can only hope that one day i too can convince an ex high-school prom queen to bare my child, even tho i look like a pasty version of lurch. Maybe when she sees the bmw and the jew bankroll she will be convinced.
Hey, genius, let me let you in on a little secret. Quoting my own stories back to me in my own forum isn't insulting me. I share these with everyone for the entertainment factor. In some cases, like the credit card bonus whoring, I share them in order to help people make a few extra bucks, without any stupid affiliate links or anything where I would gain fom sharing.
Last year I took 4 vacations. One was to 3 islands of Hawaii where we stayed in a beautiful ocean-view suite in each place. Another was to Miami and Key West. Another was a 2-week, 1-way road trip through California, Oregon, and Washington. Another was a cruise through New England and Canada. I didn't see many Caesars properties in these places.
All of this, and my entire lifestyle, is despite not having a job for the past 13 years.
So keep up the pathetic hating and trolling. I can feel the jealousy with every word I read, especially anything involving poker, where you can't stop whining about how it's all about luck. BTW, you never answered. How much did you lose lifetime playing poker?
I also have to imagine that you probably represent the Lollipop Guild if you're comparing me to "lurch" when I'm 6'2".
This is all shaping up so nicely for you two to freeroll that tag team WSOP EVENT.
Edit: I hadn't read Dandruff's baller Robin Leach stories above mine before this post. It may not be worth it to him.
Tyde of course is our prodigal son.
I offer the parable of the 23 year old kid who caught Jeter's 3000th hit. The ball was estimated to be worth $180,000. This kid gave the ball to the rightful owner and legend, Derek Jeter.
Squatting Tydepoker.com is shameful. It disrespects the entire poker forum genre. Tyde made this all possible.
Can I hear an "Amen"?
Today, as WSOP approaches, I would like to read from the scriptures
K I figure this is the best place to post this trip report. Basically Curacao has gotten trashed from Druff, then me, then Druff again then Brandon and now that Brandon torched him he is turning back to me because he always needs someone to spar with.
Basically me and Curacao called a peace treaty when we “squashed the beef”
He is has been very angry over the past 7 days for these reasons
He is mad that I ate dinner with Druff at my first WSOP event. He wonders why I don’t go and get dinners with him.
He opened his new Blog features at TYDE and is very very mad that I won’t post my trip reports there and says he is done with me LOL because I am now useless.
And he blew his top last week and went on another text barrage because I told him I don’t read his site.
Well here is a quick trip report from the day I played with Ivey on day 2 of the 1500. I don’t have have much time to type cause brandon will be here to pick me up in 20 mins so I will continue when I get back later.
I played a long day 1 and I really needed some sleep. I am awoken by texts from Marty saying I have Ivey seated to my left that day. I was only asleep for 4 hours at this point and I never got back to sleep due to the texts and the fact I was seated next to Phil , it was a combo of both.
He keeps texting me while I am laying in bed telling me he is coming to the Rio to take pictures and he is going to do a sick trip report. I tell him no I am all set and I need to concentrate because I am heading towards the money and he says “NOOOO MAN THIS IS THE WSOP!!!!!!!!!!! I AM COMING DOWN TO RAIL YOU!!!!!!!!!!! I tell him no photos because I want to concentrate.
Next thing you know I am sitting next to Ivey trying to play my game and Jewdonk comes bombing through the ropes and hammers me on the shoulder with a weird look and says HEYYYY CHINA, looks for a second then keeps walking , everyone is like who the fuck is this dude. He dissapears and I get back to playing.
About 2 hours later after break he is furiously texting me trying to get me to go and get drinks with him on my break and I decline.
Then we are 10 from the money and Jewdonk shows up and comes through the rope to my table and taps me on the shoulder and starts shouting at the top of his lungs, HEYYYYYYYYYYYY, CHINAMANIACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE ARE IN THE MONEY SON YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! wWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! YAH look your sitting next to JOHN JUANDAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE JOHN JUANDA BRO
COME ON MARK LET ME TAKE YOUR PICTURE , THIS IS WSOP, YOU ARE IN THE MONEY BRO YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE NEED PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am like Marty please fucking leave I am not in the money , I have 5 BB left and I am on the fucking bubble. Meanwhile I am sitting with Madsen, Juanda , Matt Keiokan (who won the 10k limit) and about 7 other high limit players and they are all staring at this guy saying who the hell is this creep? I am like some crazy guy from the internet. They are like damn right he is crazy and very aggravating .
Much more to write
TO BE CONTINUED,
I will finish later
Back to the trip report
So then Jewdonk goes to the rail and he is franticly yelling CHINA CHINA, LET ME TAKE YOUR PICTURE, THIS IS BIG BRO WSOP WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Finally he dissapears after I ignore him for about 10 mins of him screaming to take pictures.
Then finally a few hands later I bust out. I am walking through the lobby and I see Marty slobbering all over Annette Obestrad like it was the first girl he has ever seen. He sees me and yells at the top of his lungs- MARRRRRRRRRRRRRRK MARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK , DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS ANNETE, meanwhile he is hugging her and it was very very awkward to say the least.
Like 3 or 4 euro guys with Full Tilt gear come buy and are like are you OK to Annete. Jewdonk is going insane spitting all over her as he talks to her telling her YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO POKER BABY!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!! MARKKKKK COME ON MAN TAKE A PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am like ok I’ll take a picture, so I take one and he demands I take 2 more pictures so he can pick the best one for TYDE. She had a look on her face like Shawn Johnson probably had when she found out she had a stalker.
Finally that episode ends and Jewdonk asks me for a ride to his car because it broke down on the way to the casino. I am like ok let’s go I am very tired and I have a major headache and I want to get home.
We walk 10 more feet and Erik Seidel is approaching, Jewdy stops and points to him like he is a 13 year old girl seeing Justin Timberlake when he was with NSync- OMG OMG LOOK WHO IT IS , IT IS ERIK SEIDEL, Seidel is probably thinking to himself WTF is going on here. ERIK ERIK, YOU ARE THE MAN , YOU ARE SOOOOO AWESOME DUDE.
I am like come on if you want a ride. We get about 10 more feet and the WPT has a table set up with WPT girls. Jewdonk stops and is like HEYYYYY GIRLS, WHAT”S COOKING? Again they are glancing at him like wtf are you and looking at me saying wtf is going on. he asks them all to bend over so he can compare their asses. One of them gets furiously pissed and screams security at the top of her lungs and Jewdy runs away.
Finally we get to the parking lot and Jewdy is screaming HEY MARK WHY ARENT YOU HAPPY BRO? I CAME HERE TO RaiL YOU AND YOU JUST CASHED!!!!!!!!!!!
I am like no dude, I just played 24 hours and bubbled and I have a headache and it has taken 30 mins to get to my car. He then goes on saying how I should play more like him and I would have went deeper!!!!!!
Finally we get to the car and he cracks a Milelr Lite Bottle he pulls out of his shorts. He then recognizes some girl he claims he knows and starts beeping the horn to my car and screaming PULL OVER PULL OVER , BEEP HARDER AND PULL UP TO THEM, then I am like STFU tell me where we are going.
He leads me onto Vegas Boulevard and has mentioned Todds name no less than 30 times by the time we get a mile. He claims he had this big plan of moving out of his ghetto pad on the 30th so he could release Todds # and how he is now like Jack Bauer and he is off the grid completely.
He makes me swear I won’t tell anyone where he lives now even though I am taking him to his car not his house. But he is so drunk he tells me he is taking me 10 blocks from his house and I can drop him off there so he can stay “off the grid”. So at this point I am rather confused because he now says we are driving him to his car. He has me drive all the way down Vegas Boulevard to the mountains in the distance for miles and miles and miles.
We finally pull into the 7-11 where he thinks his car is. He sees it is gone and thinks it is towed. He opens the door to a 7-11 and starts screaming at an employee wondering where his jeep is. He then realizes it broke down about 8 miles back closer to the strip.
So we pull a 180 and pull up to a light. A bunch of Mexicans are waiting to cross the street and when the light turns green he starts screaming shit in Mexican andthey didn’t look to happy. We start driving and a hot girl pulls up in a car and he starts reaching over and beeping my horn telling me to speed up so he can hit on her. I tell him to STFU just focus on finding your car. We pull up to a traffic light and a bunch of gang bangers are crossing the street. Hey yells FUCKING n-wordS rather loudly but they didnt hear us. If they did lord knows what happens.
Finally we pull up to the 7-11 and we see his jeep which he planned on driving home with a cracked radiator. Oh and all the while we are driving he is ripping Setofks GPS off the dashboard and slamming it on the floor and between the seats saying DONT USE THIS FUCKING THING OR YOU WILL GET LOST, MY DIRECTIONS ARE THE BEST. No surprise SETOFKS GPS didn’t work after that day.
Basically everything I just wrote is why I go to lunch with class acts like Todd, and Pinchhitter and not Marty.
All in all this drive took about an hr and 15 minutes to drive what should have taken 5 minutes and it was the most uncomfortable and aggravating 1 hr and 15 mins of my life. O/U on Todds name coming up on this trip was probably 45 times.
Basically like I said before. He did the same thing with Micon last year towards the end of the WSOP. He got mad because Micon was getting stakes and he felt he deserved them because he claims he built NWP when in reality he was a major part of tearing it down.
So once again the WSOP rolls around and he complains to me that everyone else is getting stakes and he is not and he is a superior player to most and it is unfair.
Well truth is everyone else has worked hard and put themselves in positions to be staked or have built bankrolls to play events and JEWDONK shoots off in every game he plays.
Like I said everything was fine 7 days ago but when I refuse to blog on his site when he got his “sick blog features” and I inform him I don’t read his site the guy goes on massive life tilt. He has informed me he is moving out vegas really soon because he can’t “take the heat” anymore. Probably a real good move. Drive up to Oregon or Washington State and try living in the forest with no internet.
Look at this guy, listening to every word I say for 7 hours per week on the radio show just so he can regurgitate it back on the forum like a champ.
Hey, genius, let me let you in on a little secret. Quoting my own stories back to me in my own forum isn't insulting me. I share these with everyone for the entertainment factor. In some cases, like the credit card bonus whoring, I share them in order to help people make a few extra bucks, without any stupid affiliate links or anything where I would gain fom sharing.
Last year I took 4 vacations. One was to 3 islands of Hawaii where we stayed in a beautiful ocean-view suite in each place. Another was to Miami and Key West. Another was a 2-week, 1-way road trip through California, Oregon, and Washington. Another was a cruise through New England and Canada. I didn't see many Caesars properties in these places.
All of this, and my entire lifestyle, is despite not having a job for the past 13 years.
So keep up the pathetic hating and trolling. I can feel the jealousy with every word I read, especially anything involving poker, where you can't stop whining about how it's all about luck. BTW, you never answered. How much did you lose lifetime playing poker?
I also have to imagine that you probably represent the Lollipop Guild if you're comparing me to "lurch" when I'm 6'2".
Lol
If i looked like you im sure id have to take my significant other to 4 different parts of the world too, just so she could forget she was in a relationship with a balding out of shape schmuck.
I wasn't insulting you, i was merely "regertating" it. So if you feel i was insulting you then it shows how you view your own life.
I love your show, i tune in every chance i get. Its so horrible its funny. Like when you make a hacky joke and play the laugh track, because you know its not even hacky its just not funny at all, just makes me laugh. Or when you are interviewing someone and you ask them a question, and let them talk for 3 seconds then proceed to answer it for them. Or the way you cut off brandon, just lol. I do more laughing at you then with you.
Oh and im not a "professional poker player", what ever that is, but if i had to guess im probably even lifetime. I only played leisurely. Lately its been bad, had to take a break.
regertating? Did you finish high school?
Keep hiding under phony accounts because you probably embarrassed yourself over on DD. Or because we would probably have a hearty laugh at your insults about my looks if we knew what you looked like.
Enjoy spending 7 hours per week listening to a radio show you say is "horrible". Sounds like you have a fulfilling life.
BTW, I don't want you to think that I'm making fun of you for being a losing poker player.... (oops, a "breakeven lifetime" poker player... lol)
There are a lot of really smart and successful people who just suck at poker, and they shouldn't be judged negatively for that. I just laugh at you because you honestly believe poker is all luck, and that's why you think you haven't done well. You've been part of poker forums for all of these years, and you actually believe that. Simply put, you're just not very bright.
So who were you on NWP/DD again?
Sorry about the grammer, im on my phone.regertating? Did you finish high school?
Keep hiding under phony accounts because you probably embarrassed yourself over on DD. Or because we would probably have a hearty laugh at your insults about my looks if we knew what you looked like.
Enjoy spending 7 hours per week listening to a radio show you say is "horrible". Sounds like you have a fulfilling life.
BTW, I don't want you to think that I'm making fun of you for being a losing poker player.... (oops, a "breakeven lifetime" poker player... lol)
There are a lot of really smart and successful people who just suck at poker, and they shouldn't be judged negatively for that. I just laugh at you because you honestly believe poker is all luck, and that's why you think you haven't done well. You've been part of poker forums for all of these years, and you actually believe that. Simply put, you're just not very bright.
So who were you on NWP/DD again?
Its hard for me to type paragraph long diatribes on an Android.
I know it's hard for celebrities to take criticism or insults, but i am only stating facts. We all know you from your stunning appearances on espn and 60 minutes. Im not trying to insult a well known poker player and someone that always gets talked about on the internet.
Every time i see a video of you i wonder if you were heavily vaccinated as a kid?
Okay, I will forgive your "grammer".Sorry about the grammer, im on my phone.
Its hard for me to type paragraph long diatribes on an Android.
I know it's hard for celebrities to take criticism or insults, but i am only stating facts. We all know you from your stunning appearances on espn and 60 minutes. Im not trying to insult a well known poker player and someone that always gets talked about on the internet.
Every time i see a video of you i wonder if you were heavily vaccinated as a kid?
You keep ignoring my question about who you were on DD, and why you are hiding under a new screen name.
My 60 Minutes appearance was so "bad" that three other studios called me in subsequent years to appear in their documentaries/shows about cheating in online poker. I guess I just didn't play well to the illiterate dropout crowd. Good to know.
Is English your first language?
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