transgender hooker roulette: or how I stopped hanging with Captain Lou
True Story. Back in the mid 80's I was working for a stage crew in Greensboro, North Carolina at the Coliseum. Hundreds of shows came through that place, and setting up rigging and lighting for it was one of the hardest jobs I ever had in my mid 20's. So, back in '84, the WWF comes and hosts an event there. I got to build the ring, and set up the lighting rigs. I also got to meet Captain Lou Albino, famed wrestler. He wasn't on the card that night, but was just traveling with the group having fun and cheering on his friends. One thing no one knows about the WWF back in the 80's is that after the show, there would be HUGE parties. Macho Man, Hulk Hogan, all of the greats would just cut loose back stage after they would sign autographs for the little kids. Well, as a stage hand, naturally you find your ways to these back stage gatherings.
So, at this party, and i'm drinking with a few of the crew in the corner when Lou walks up, completely shit faced. He doesn't even have the rubber band in his beard anymore because he lost it. He's happy as a lark too. So we collectively welcome him into our circle and we start talking to him.
"Hey Lou, what's going on?"
"YOU GUYS WANT TO PLAY HOOKER ROULETTE!?"
we all look at Lou like he's nuts. Finally, my friend Sam pipes forward and says "well, Lou, what's that?"
"IT'S WHEN WE LINE UP 5 HOOKERS IN A ROW. AND YOU GET TO PICK ONE. WHAT WE DON'T TELL YOU IS ONE OF THEM IS A TRANNY!"
Sure enough, just as he's saying this, almost like it's a fucking game show and we've picked door number 3, 5 women walk up to us. All of them hotter than Raquel Welch on her finest day. So I go first.
"Ok Lou, i'll pick 3rd from the left."
"YOU SURE!?"
"yeah Lou, i'm sure."
So, me and 3rd from the left go into a trailer, and she starts going down on me and it's amazing. best head i'd ever had. I mean this chick can suck the chrome off a bumper.
Finally, when we're done, we exit the trailer and Lou is standing there wide fucking eyed.
"SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? WAS THAT A MAN OR A WOMAN"
"Lou I hope that was a woman, and if it wasn't, we're certainly not hanging out anymore."
I haven't seen Lou since then.
