Druff's preschool follies
Benjamin is 7 years old now, and long out of preschool. I actually try to avoid making waves at his elementary school, as teachers/administrators can take things out on the kid if the parent pisses them off. I don't want Benjamin suffering as a result of any of my gripes.
However, back when it came time to sign him up for preschool, I found several challenges.
In the mid-1970s, my parents had me in 3 different preschools (one each year), and later told me that they switched me because all three of them were shit.
I found this problem myself in the 2010s. The 1 or 2 well rated preschools in the area were booked solid with a waiting list a mile long, and the rest of them ranged between mediocre to horrible.
I first enrolled Benjamin in preschool shortly after he turned 18 moths old, in the spring of 2012. This was an additional challenge because many preschools wanted the kids to be at least 2. So I was even more limited in my choices.
The first seemingly decent preschool I found seemed great on the surface. It was very close by, the director seemed super nice, and the facility looked lovely. I asked if I could bring Benjamin for a trial 2 hours, with me sitting on the side watching (but not interacting with him or anyone else), prior to officially signing him up. The director said yes, and told me that this practice was very normal for new students, especially young ones.
The first day went fairly well. The teacher was very young (probably around 20-22), but seemed to do a satisfactory job. The class size was reasonable. Everything went fine for those 2 hours. We left prior to nap time, and I walked into the office and wrote out a check for the remainder of the spring term.
The next day, Benjamin was still apprehensive of being left alone there. Since he was just 18 months old, I wanted to make the transition a bit easier. I decided I would stay one more day with him (if they allowed it), repeatedly explain to him that he would be by himself on the days following that, and stick to it. Of course, I checked with the director if that was okay, and she enthusiastically said it was fine. I clarified to her that this would be my last day being present, and that I would sit off in the corner and not disrupt anything. The director told me it was no problem, and that she was leaving for the rest of the day.
Then all hell broke loose.
While sitting in the corner, I started to get kinda bored, and Benjamin was engaged with the class and seemingly needing me less and less. I pulled out my phone and went online to read e-mail and texts. The teacher said nothing to me, but within about 10 minutes, another teacher barged in and demanded I shut my phone off. I asked her why, and she said that phones aren't allowed to be out, as they don't want pictures of the kids being taken. I told her that I fully understood, and agreed to stop, but informed her that my phone was pointed at my lap the entire time, and it never even looked like I was taking pictures. That's when it got weird.
"Um, no, we have information that you were taking pictures here of the children," she replied.
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"Huh? I swear, my phone has only been out for about 10 minutes, and it's been right above my lap the entire time. I can show you my pictures right now if you don't believe me," I explained.
"No, no, that's not necessary," she backpedaled. "We just got some information that you were.... well... Look, if you just put it away right now, we can just forget about it."
"Seriously, I took no pictures. Whoever gave you that information is wrong. Let me show you right now. There are no pictures. I don't want you to doubt me."
"No, that's okay. I believe you. Thanks for your understanding", she answered, and walked out.
I was a bit shaken by this. Who reported me? The teacher? Did someone perhaps peer in the classroom and see me, and get the wrong idea? Very embarrassing, and not the way I wanted things to start out there.
Still, I figured that I should be happy that they were diligent enough to prevent potential pervs from snapping pictures of little kids there, so I tried not to be offended or bothered by it.
I put my phone away and quietly observed the class for some more time. I started to notice that the young teacher, who seemed to do okay the day before, was now struggling to stay in control. The kids were running wild, and she was having issues dealing with it. I started to wonder if I made a big mistake.
Then nap time came. Ben was still on a late schedule from earlier in the week, and there was no way he was going to fall asleep during this nap time. Not wanting to burden the teacher further, I figured I would make things a bit easier on her, and offer to take Benjamin back home for those 2 hours, and then return with him to the school when everyone was waking up.
"Hey, what time does the napping end? Like in 2 hours, right? Because Benjamin woke up late and isn't tired right now, so I figured I'd just take him home, and come back when everyone's done napping, to make it a bit easier on everyone," I offered.
The teacher had a scowl on her face, and she inexplicably looked ready to explode on me. What had I done wrong?
"Yes, 2 hours.. and.... but... well...."
And then it happened.
"But I don't think you should come back," she continued. "I've really had it with you. You come into my class two days in a row, show up at 10am, are taking pictures of the kids on your phone, you're sitting there watching everything I'm doing for 2 days, and now you want to disrupt my class even more by taking him out and bringing him back. How about you just go home and not come back?"
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I was floored. Keep in mind I fully had permission from the director to be there for these two days, had never once uttered a peep nor left my spot in the corner, and the director had informed this girl beforehand what would be going on.
"First off, I'm 20 years older than you, and I don't appreciate you speaking to me like I'm one of the children. I'm a paying customer here, and I demand you treat me with respect," I began.
"Next, the thing with the phone, I already explained that to the other woman. I had no idea I couldn't check my e-mail and text messages here. I understand the policy now, and put away my phone immediately when I was told, but I was never taking pictures of anyone, and offered to prove it", I continued.
"And why are you giving me a hard time about watching your class? I arranged that with your boss, and I saw her telling you about it. She also had no problem with me showing up at 10am both days, and in fact walked me in the first day. If you've got a problem with this, you take it up with her, and don't yell at me. I've been very careful to quietly sit in the corner and not cause the slightest disruption. And I offered to take Benjamin home during nap time so I could help you out and not leave you with a restless kid who can't sleep," I explained.
She didn't know what to say back to any of this. She muttered something like, "Well, these last 2 days have been very hard for me because you've been here", and then turned around and walked away.
I should have given up right there and asked for a refund the next day, but I still wanted to see the rest of the day through before making my final decision.
I left for those 2 hours, and returned at 2pm. The bitchy young teacher was gone, and replaced by her older sister, who also apparently worked there. The next 2 hours or so were uneventful, but at 4pm, the kids went outside for playtime.
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I was horrified by what I saw. They just released all the 18-month-olds to run around by themselves among the older kids -- some who were as old as 5. Even worse, the young ones were allowed to wander anywhere, including to the dangerous jungle gym equipment clearly made for 4-5 year olds. I looked at all of the teachers, and they were sitting on a bench in the corner, talking back and forth, without watching any of the children out there.
I was not only nervous for Benjamin, but suddenly I was nervous for all the children on the playground. I kept track of Ben, but also started watching the kids -- including the younger ones -- to make sure they were all okay. I felt weird doing this because it wasn't at all my place, but I was legitimately scared for them.
Then some of the kids, noticing a complete lack of adult presence on the playground and blacktop aside from me, started to approach me and ask for help.
"Can you help me get that ball up there?"
"Danny is following me and hitting me, can you tell him to stop?"
"My shoe came off, can you help me get it back on?"
I actually helped these kids the best I could, including telling Danny to be nice and that there was "no hitting", and then realized how ridiculous this was. How did I become the playground supervisor, while the actual employees had their heads down in the corner gossiping?
I was just about to go to the teachers and complain, when I saw a disaster about to happen.
One of the 18 month olds in Benjamin's class was making the difficult climb up a pole with metal slats sticking out of it, and was going fairly high up. This was not at all safe for a child of that age to be doing, and exactly what I was worried about. Then I noticed she was wobbling.
I sprinted over there. I had to get this girl down, and then tell the teachers to watch what the fuck was going on.
As I raced over, I watched the baby fall off, and plunge down about 8 feet before crashing down on her back.
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She started crying, and I wasn't sure if she had just gotten really injured. I told the girl I'd be right back, ran over to the teachers and told them to come over to deal with this.
Turned out that girl was okay. Somehow, despite this awkward 8-foot fall, she was okay, without any kind of noticeable cuts or bruises, and seemed to walk around okay once she calmed down. Phew.
At this point it was 100% certain I was never returning to this school, and I demanded to know who was in charge of watching this girl. I went to that woman and yelled at her that this little child almost just had a serious injury, that I was about to call the police and get the place shut down.
The teachers kept trying to claim they were "sorry" and "just momentarily distracted", but it was complete BS.
I considered sticking around for another 1-2 hours and waiting for that girl's parents to show up, but for some reason I didn't. As I said, she seemed okay, but thinking back to it, I wish I had.
The next day I marched into the director's office and told her everything. She legitimately acted horrified by the stories, but at the same time, didn't seem too surprised. I think she was just too nice and let her employees get away with their crap, thus creating this chaotic environment.
"You're 100% correct about the teacher in Benjamin's class. You were not only in the right there, but even if you weren't, no teachers are ever allowed to yell at or scold a parent. I'll be having a long talk with her about this, I assure you."
"Regarding you and the phone, yes, it's against our policy to use phones in the classroom, but you had no way to know that, and I'm angry that they approached you in such an accusatory way. I'm also angry that no one apologized once you showed a full willingness to prove to them you had taken no pictures. I will be talking with that employee, as well."
"And as far as the playground, I can't explain that, but if you can give me a description of all the teachers you saw sitting in the corner, I will be calling them in, as well. The kids, especially the little ones, are to be constantly supervised out there, and certainly not climbing on that equipment."
"Yeah," I responded. "Also the kids were all coming to me for help, because no teachers were out there."
"Yes, that's also a big problem," she conceded. "Thank you for trying to do your best with the situation. I feel so bad about that little girl who fell."
"Well, at the very least, I think you owe me a full refund for the tuition, given that at the time I paid, I had no idea that this school had these type of major problems", I stated.
"For sure. I haven't cashed your check. So here it is back, and you can rip it up. I'm so sorry about everything, and please consider giving us another chance at some point," she replied.
With that, I left.
About a month later, I enrolled Benjamin in a preschool farther away, but this one seemed better. The teachers looked engaged. Every teacher was over 30 years old. I was promised that the outdoor playtime is carefully split between the kids of the different age groups, so Benjamin wouldn't be out with 5-year-olds, and in fact he would be in an area with age-appropriate equipment (which was shown to me).
Did that one work out?
No, that one had a whole different set of dysfunctions and illegal behaviors, which I'll tell you more about later.
TO BE CONTINUED