Seeking recommendations - what to do in Tel Aviv/Jerusalem

I’m unexpectedly in Israel for a week (first time) and apart from the classic religious sites I don’t have a clue what to see/do.

Would appreciate all recommendations from fellow goyim and Jews alike.

100% go see the Dead Sea.

And if you do, take my advice and don't shave that day. And if you wipe your ass, do it lightly. I'm not even kidding. You're literally rubbing salt in the wounds.

But it's really interesting and a unique experience I remember well, 30 years later.

I’d start by asking Devidee.

You should also consider going into Jordan through a tour and seeing Petra for the day. It's one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

https://www.touristisrael.com/visit-...-israel/12186/

1. Go to any supermarket and buy this.



It is the best chocolate milk in the world. I have paid $100 bucks to have someone bring a few cartons back from their trip there. Its that delicious. The chocolate they use to make it is out of this world. I have even visited the Kibbutz and factory they make it in. I was face to face with the cows.


2. Rugalech

Now I believe the market is on Ben Yehuda Street, but they sell these chocolate pastries in the open pretty much anywhere that will knock your goy socks off. Its so flavorful, you cant stop at one.


3. The Kotel/Western Wall

One thing I will tell you is never give money to anyone regardless of who they say they are or what they are dressed like. Most of them are scammers who say they need money from Shabbat, but they need money like Cmoney needs chemotherapy. Dont give a penny. If you want to buy the Kabbalah string you can pay $5 American and get like 2 or 3 strings. That's about it.


4. Restaurants

There are great restaurants near the beach in Tel Aviv that serve fresh fish, if youre into that. They usually have a projector on the beach and nothing is better than drinking a nice Goldstar eating fries or a snack and lounging on a chair(which you will need to pay for but its cheap) and watching soccer.

shoot benjamin netanyahu while you're there please

Mount Zion house of Caiaphas, Mount of Olives, and at the Garden of Gathsemane look around for a piece of a roman soldier's ear

Ahh, the classic ethno-state.

Thanks for everyone’s suggestions. Here’s a pic from sunny Tel Aviv

Hold onto your foreskin.

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Originally Posted by Wiganer

Hold onto your foreskin.

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Foreskin is nish good. I still not sure how im supposed to suck a uncut dick. Always is too much work

For the sake of balance - I made it across the border 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

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Originally Posted by MrTickle

For the sake of balance - I made it across the border ����������������

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Was going to suggest asking if any company in Tel Aviv had a “disaster tourism” tour of select spots in the West Bank akin to the one Druff took of Detroit from across the border in Ontario.

Or perhaps one runs a “Palestinian Checkpoint Roleplay”, like how a Russian company has tourists roleplaying spending time in a dirty Soviet-era prison as a political prisoner. If so, ask if they charge extra for ‘enhanced interrogation’ as a ‘profiled terrorist suspect’. Should make for a memorable trip.

PFA banned in Ben Gurion airport!

You missed out on a potential hookup with Melanie (keep free hand on your wallet).

https://youtu.be/gKdUI16wvcc