1960s anti-war activist Tom Hayden wasn't scared of much -- except Master Scalir

If you're older, you have probably heard of 1960s anti-war activist Tom Hayden.

He first achieved notoriety from being part of the "Chicago Seven" -- activists who protested the Vietnam War during the 1968 Democratic Convention, and were indicted for crossing state lines to incite a riot.

At one point, Hayden was called "the father of the largest mass protests in American history", and "inspired the Great Society without even knowing it". Hayden was a huge hero to the counterculture at the time.

Five years later, he married Jane Fonda, with whom he stay married for 17 years, until 1990. They had one son together, Troy Garity, who became a semi-successful actor. Garity starred in an ahead-of-its-time 2003 TV movie called "Soldier's Girl", about an army private who fell in love with a local transgender drag performer.

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Hayden also got into California politics in the 1990s, and was elected to both the state senate and the state assembly.

The first time I ever saw Tom Hayden scared of anything was when he met our own Master Scalir.


There was a weekly social event at the Wilshire Boulevard Temple in West Los Angeles, called "Friday Night Live". For awhile I was even calling Friday night episodes of PFA Radio "Friday Night Live", as a cryptic reference to it. It sort of had a singles vibe to it, but it wasn't really a singles party. It was more of a free social event where (mostly 20s and 30s) Jews would get together as Shabbat began. There were various snacks provided, including Manischewitz Wine in little cups. The entire party was free, and was very popular among young Jews in the area. You technically had to be 21 to go, but this wasn't really enforced.

https://www.laconservancy.org/sites/...?itok=D8jbS1Wc

Master Scalir was obsessed with Friday Night Live, and went every single week from the beginning of it in the '90s until 2007 or so. If you remember Colleen, she was the reason he decided to break his "streak" and finally stop going. Prior to that, he had been there every single week.

I went there on and off. When I was single, I went more, because I had less to do on Friday nights, and would go directly there after work. When I had a girlfriend, I would still go occasionally, and just not treat it as a singles party. Even when I was single, I didn't really try to find anyone to date there, and more would just walk around with Scalir and laugh at his antics. Ken befriended various other quirky dudes he met there, whom he called "characters", and introduced me to all of them as well. It was entertaining to observe Ken's antics with all of them, though I never really wanted to get close to any of these people like Ken did.

There usually wasn't anyone famous at Friday Night Live, but one night Tom Hayden came there for some reason. I think he was running for office or promoting something. Anyway, he was kind of aimlessly walking around, and it seemed a lot the young people there didn't recognize him, since he was more of a famous figure in the '60s and '70s, which was before much of this 2003 crowd was even born.

Ken, of course, instantly recognized him, and ran up to him.

"Tom Hayden!!", he excitedly said,. "I can't believe you're here, I've always wanted to meet you! You're my political idol!"

Hayden was looking a little bit nervous, but politely indulged Ken and greeted him.

"This guy here," Ken said pointing to me, "... is my friend Todd. He's a Republican. You probably wouldn't agree with him on anything. But I'm a Democrat, and I know every detail of your entire career!"

Ken then started reciting a bunch of obscure things about Hayden's political and activist life. I could tell at this point he was very uncomfortable, and was worried he was in the presence of a crazy stalker. He didn't realize that Scalir was completely harmless and would never hurt a fly.

As Ken started reciting off everything Tom had ever done, Hayden was looking around to see if there was anyone else around trying to get his attention, but sadly for him, nobody was in the immediate vicinity.

Finally, Tom Hayden realized the he was standing right next to someone unlikely to be obsessed with him or dangerous -- me.

Remember, Ken described me as both a Republican and his friend. Clearly I couldn't be an obsessed fan of his like Ken was, and clearly I couldn't personally despise Democrats or I wouldn't be friends with Ken. Tom virtually ignored Ken at this point, and started small talk with me. I had a pleasant conversation back with him, actually feeling bad for the guy, and was trying to calm down Ken, whom I could tell was scaring him.

I thought it was hilarious that onetime communist Tom Hayden, who stood down the Chicago police in 1968, was now finding safety in a conversation with a Republican.

Finally, Tom saw someone he recognized walk by, and said, "Hey it was great meeting you guys, I've gotta go talk to my friend over there", and walked away.

Ken said something like, "Wow... Tom Hayden!", and I informed him that he actually scared the guy, which Ken wasn't aware of.

"But you're the Republican and I'm the one who agrees with him! Why was he afraid of me?", Ken asked.

"That's exactly why he wasn't afraid of me. He knew I wasn't obsessed with him in any way."

Ken realized he came on too strong, and felt a little bit bad.


Tom Hayden died in 2016, at the age of 76. Even though I didn't agree with his politics, he was nice when I met him, and I felt bad that I got to witness one of the few instances where he was ever truly scared.

RIP

Here's a bonus Ken Scalir story from Friday Night Live.

As I said, I didn't treat this as a singles party, and really made no effort to meet anyone while there, even when I was single.

However, there was one time I almost did, and Master Scalir saved me from likely eventual heartbreak.

I was walking around with Ken during one of my single times, probably circa 2001. We encountered some girl who was with a friend, Ken said hi to her, and we talked back and forth for maybe 5 minutes. About half an hour later, we ran into her again, this time she was alone. We all talked for a little longer. She was a little weirded out by Ken, but she and I were getting along increasingly well. I forgot why that conversation ended, but again everyone moved on.

Then we saw her a third time, and we stood there talking about 20 minutes. At this point, it was mainly me and her talking, and Ken was mostly staying silent, throwing in little quips here and there. At this point I was a hair away from asking for her phone number, and had a strong feeling she would give it to me. I could tell there was interest on her part. I was very happy about this, because she was very cute, Jewish, and seemed like a nice girl. I was just waiting for a natural point to ask for her number, but if it didn't happen, I was going to just ask for it anyway.

Ken sometimes will blurt out an observation about a person he's recently met, possibly to shock them that he has figured something out about their life or personality within a short time. He's actually really good at it, to the point to where he could claim he was psychic and some people might believe it. He did that with this girl, literally moments before I was going to ask for her number.


"You know, you seem like the type of girl who has really really high standards", he stated to her matter-of-factly. "Like, I picture you go out with guys that you think you like, but then you always find a reason not to want to continue dating them."

I was annoyed with Ken because I felt she might be put off by this rude and blunt comment. I said something like, "Come on Ken, I don't see how you could say something like that about someone you just met."

Surprisingly, she responded, "Oh my God! You are so right. That's my biggest problem. I keep dating these really great guys, and I like them a lot, but after 1 or 2 dates, I find something I don't like and stop seeing them. A lot of times it's really stupid and minor. I've been trying to work on this, but it's tough. How did you know that about me? Did I say something which gave it away?"

Ken said, "No, I just had a feeling about you..."

This let all the air out of my balloon. I saw myself as one of those guys, and I saw the future if I asked this girl for her number. Right then, I politely ended the conversation.

"Well, it's been great talking to you," I said. "Maybe we'll see you around again!"

With that, I walked away with Ken, who had sensed I was into this girl, and was surprised I was the one to end the conversation without getting her number. He asked, "Why did you leave? Why didn't you try to ask that girl out?"

I said, "Think of the last thing we discussed, and you'll have your answer."

You didn’t ask him what it was like being married a traitor?

:scalir