I am going to post my favorite Jewdonk/Tyde posts of all time

I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

So back in the day, I want to say 2007 or so. Jewdonk(now Tyde) actually had a roommate, a black guy (I'll call Germain) if you can believe it. So the backstory is Tyde and Germain were having issues, supposedly because of the fact that Germain left dirty dishes in the sink. Ok, I HIGHLY DOUBT Germain and Tyde were having issues over dirty dishes. First, Tyde smokes, so you know that probably pissed off Germain to no ends with the endless smoke in the apartment. Also, Tyde is an alcoholic so I am sure Tyde was drinking and watching TV until 4am.

So anyway, Tyde one night thinks its a good idea to pick up a Craig's List Hooker. Who knows what he did to her, but like 3am he and the hooker decide to eat some food in the kitchen. Now like any 2 bedroom apartment each bedroom backs up to the kitchen and we all know Tyde has an inability to keep his voice down (we'll get into that later).

So Germain runs out and screams at Tyde because he simply had enough of the noise. Keep in mind Jewdonk was unemployed at the time living off his LA Times 401K at the time, and Germain had to be up at 5:30. So a shouting match ensued, the hooker left and that was the end of the story. OR WAS IT?

No, it was not, Jewdonk decided to get back at Germain for humiliating him in front of a hooker. When Germain went to work, Tyde thought it would be sweet revenge to spike his water jug. Apparently Germain had one of those Orzaka jugs in his bedroom, so Jewdonk pissed in it. Yes folks, he was 40+ at the time and he pissed in Germain's water jug.

He immediately posted this story online after he saw Germain taking a swig. And we wonder why WILLIE did not eat his food on the ship.

LOL Tyde

The FART 2007 or 2008

Ok, so this story is uneventful, but Tony G actually responded to the 2008 post and said he laughed. Keep in mind this is when NWP was sold to some poker firm and I guess Tony G was involved so he made a few posts NWP.

But, this was a funny story. Jewdonk(Tyde) I guess had a female acquaintance and they were in line for some type of event. It might have been a movie, amusement park ride, not sure its been too long to remember. Anyway this was the crux of the story, apparently Jewdonk was out late in the evening the night before eating Mexican food and tequila. While in line, he had a huge surge and according to Jewdonk unleashed a very long but silent fart.

Jewdonk being Jewdonk immediately realized the smog and began dismissing it as someone else. Apparently everyone in the line began saying "Jesus, what the fuck is that smell". Apparently Jewdonk was telling his Japanese female how inappropriate someone would unleash that in line while giggling to himself.

The only real reason this is noteworthy was because Tony G laughed about it in a post.

it would be better if you actually dug up the Jewdonk posts instead of being like, "lol one time Jewdonk posted a story about smoking pot out of a red bull can"

The only thing that could save this thread is for wiz to recreate said posts in picture form.

Here is a random douche bag I tripped over in my research:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNpDsQgYk6k

I am going to lay wood on probably 3 or 4 other posts. I need a nap though. Having cancer in my knee cap sucks, it really ruins you since you cannot move . and you sleep a lot

But I must have missed this but found it in my research:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPfXVsd0FyY

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

So back in the day, I want to say 2007 or so. Jewdonk(now Tyde) actually had a roommate, a black guy (I'll call Germain) if you can believe it. So the backstory is Tyde and Germain were having issues, supposedly because of the fact that Germain left dirty dishes in the sink. Ok, I HIGHLY DOUBT Germain and Tyde were having issues over dirty dishes. First, Tyde smokes, so you know that probably pissed off Germain to no ends with the endless smoke in the apartment. Also, Tyde is an alcoholic so I am sure Tyde was drinking and watching TV until 4am.

So anyway, Tyde one night thinks its a good idea to pick up a Craig's List Hooker. Who knows what he did to her, but like 3am he and the hooker decide to eat some food in the kitchen. Now like any 2 bedroom apartment each bedroom backs up to the kitchen and we all know Tyde has an inability to keep his voice down (we'll get into that later).

So Germain runs out and screams at Tyde because he simply had enough of the noise. Keep in mind Jewdonk was unemployed at the time living off his LA Times 401K at the time, and Germain had to be up at 5:30. So a shouting match ensued, the hooker left and that was the end of the story. OR WAS IT?

No, it was not, Jewdonk decided to get back at Germain for humiliating him in front of a hooker. When Germain went to work, Tyde thought it would be sweet revenge to spike his water jug. Apparently Germain had one of those Orzaka jugs in his bedroom, so Jewdonk pissed in it. Yes folks, he was 40+ at the time and he pissed in Germain's water jug.

He immediately posted this story online after he saw Germain taking a swig. And we wonder why WILLIE did not eat his food on the ship.

LOL Tyde

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Yeah the black guy was DEFINITELY pissed off about all the weed smoke.


:lol2

:lol2

This whole 'Ive lurked since day 1 but just showing up now' gimmick is played the fucc out.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...62ee34e6a6.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...be749adc22.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

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Bragging about losing huge money. Obsessed with Marty.

Hi bottomset

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jsearles22

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

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Bragging about losing huge money. Obsessed with Marty.

Hi bottomset

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Good call

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

living off his LA Times 401K at the time

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only someone who has never actually had a 401k could type that without a hint of sarcasm / irony.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jsearles22

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

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Bragging about losing huge money. Obsessed with Marty.

Hi bottomset

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:this

I have never posted on this forum or any poker forum before, so you can tag me all you want. I am just a lurker that goes back to NWP days.

So back to the thread after my nap.

Is anyone ever curious about Tyde calling Druff out for "2 for 1" pizza coupons? LOL. He used to use that as a burn all the time, it was actually funny. Well here is what happened and why meetings of forum posters with Jewdonk go horribly wrong.

Jewdonk moved out to Las Vegas to become a poker pro (LOL) and also decided to introduce himself and presumably make friends with fellow NWP posters out there. Big Mistake! Anyhow, Druff invites a bunch of forum members over to his infamous and unfurnished 2 bedroom apartment. Well Jewdonk arrives totally hammered and is "introducing" himself to forum members in the most obnoxious way possible

http://i703.photobucket.com/albums/w.../MartinLOL.jpg

So anyway, Druff decides to be a good host and order pizza from his guests, and according to Jewdonk Druff began feverishly began clipping pizza coupons out of the phone book and Sunday paper.

Anyway, Jewdonk began getting really loaded to the point he was basically shouting. Druff's upstairs neighbor came down furious and told Druff she was going to call the cops. Druff eventually told Jewdonk he had to leave and their friendship immediately ceased after that night. For like two years Jewdonk referenced the unfurnished 2 bedroom apartment and the pizza coupon clipping.

So does anyone remember Felon? Felon was a real scumbag who had a run for a couple years right up until he got pinched for stealing
lottery tickets and selling them to Mexicans outside a Hope Depot. Folks, I am not making this up these are the upstanding citizens we have posting here.

So anyway, Tyde thinks its a good idea to meet up with Felon at a shithole casino in Sac-town called the Limelight. Big Mistake! So they play poker and basically Tyde alienates everyone at the table. So he and Felon go out to Tyde's ballin ass Volvo which he eventually had to sell to cover his poker losses. So guess what they do in the car? Yep, they decide to snort some low grade coke. But here is where the story gets epic. Rather than whip out a rolled hundo or even as $20 to snort the coke, Tyde produces his own invention.

The Coke is lined on the Volvo dashboard and Jewdonk whips out his ghetto Coke snorting concoction. Yes, you guessed it. It's a McDonalds straw cut into a 1/3rd with scissors. So when Jewdonk was going through a drive though, it blossomed on him this would make a good coke sniffer. LOL. I mean can you imagine being at a party inviting Jewdonk as a friend, and there is some coke there and everyone has their rolled up hundos and Jewdonk whips out his McDonalds straw?

LOL. A very famous story that went on for like a month.

I hope that cancer in your kneecaps spreads to your asshole.

HOF

The Galga Video Machine

Ok, so this one is a real charm. Jewdonk was in Las Vegas and his life was really collapsing. The whole poker thing was a disaster, his website crumbled and he was basically totally broke. To make life worse, Cleatus who is a miserable human being was trying to cash in on a bounty of finding Jewdonk and turning him in to the police for an expired license or something like that. So stress levels are off the chart. He is basically renting an upstairs bedroom at the time from a stranger who eventually booted him.

So Jewdonk is near rock bottom and goes into a Chinese restaurant, not a normal restaurant but like something at a strip center in Vegas next to a Cash Advance and Pawn shop place. A seedy take out place with blinking lights.

While waiting for his food he puts a quarter into a Galga machine, probably the first quarter its seen in years. Due to slot corrosion the quarter jams and and Jewdonk freaks out. He demands his quarter back and reluctantly after much "negotiation" the cashier hands him a coin. He is basically shouting down the staff preparing his food for a quarter! You can't make this up.

What makes this story LOL is Jewdonk immediately raced to the forum to post this encounter as a "WIN". OH MY! Yep Jewdonk you got your quarter back. YOU WON!

I'm digging the stories. Wasn't around back then. My loss. But keep em' coming.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jsearles22

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

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Bragging about losing huge money. Obsessed with Marty.

Hi bottomset

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Perth Rebirth?

So here is another gem. And another reason why you should NEVER meet Tyde in real life.

FUHOSER.

He was a poster back in the day and has had many dupes since 2008. But anyway, FUSHOER felt it was a good idea to meet Jewdonk in real life. So they meet up and I assume they partied a little but the details were never detailed. BUT Jewdonk decides to take Hoser to his Mom's house and introduce him to dear old Mom. Can you imagine the horror on her face when Jewdonk comes strolling in with a friend he met on a poker forum? Jewdonk actually took a random NWP stranger to meet his mom. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

Now, I don't know if any of you are married, but this is something you do like after date #20 after getting serious with a chick. NOT JEWDONK. He takes a random MALE internet poster over to Mom for lunch.

The story ended with Hoser and Jewdonk swigging out of a plastic Vodka bottle out of Hoser's trunk, which was a late model car. Apparently Jewdonk and Hoser had a falling out, and Hoser apparently stunk like shit and lived in KOA campgrounds with a POS car. Jewdonk later admitted it was fake news that Hoser did not stink. We never get a answer on KOA.

I am sure Jewdonk's Mom to the day is like WTF why did you bring this random guy over to my house for lunch.

LOL @ Tyde

Ok this is the last one for a few days. But in the infancy of Tydepoker, Jewdonk had a huge impression his website was going to be a huge money maker. He actually recruited members from NWP and also offered "stock" for Moderators. Are you fucking kidding me?

So Jewdonk goes on NWP Radio to challenge Micon that his website is better and more active. Then Jewdonk lays out a startling claim: "Do you not see the Poker Banners on my site?". LOL, Jewdonk actually thought some random skin poker site that paid NOTHING to advertise was a money maker and impressive. This was AFTER the UIGEA was imposed and poker sites were basically irrelevant. Everyone on radio was like WTF are you talking about?

Anyway, I have many other thoughts, feel free to update this thread as you like.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

The Galga Video Machine

Ok, so this one is a real charm. Jewdonk was in Las Vegas and his life was really collapsing. The whole poker thing was a disaster, his website crumbled and he was basically totally broke. To make life worse, Cleatus who is a miserable human being was trying to cash in on a bounty of finding Jewdonk and turning him in to the police for an expired license or something like that. So stress levels are off the chart. He is basically renting an upstairs bedroom at the time from a stranger who eventually booted him.

So Jewdonk is near rock bottom and goes into a Chinese restaurant, not a normal restaurant but like something at a strip center in Vegas next to a Cash Advance and Pawn shop place. A seedy take out place with blinking lights.

While waiting for his food he puts a quarter into a Galga machine, probably the first quarter its seen in years. Due to slot corrosion the quarter jams and and Jewdonk freaks out. He demands his quarter back and reluctantly after much "negotiation" the cashier hands him a coin. He is basically shouting down the staff preparing his food for a quarter! You can't make this up.

What makes this story LOL is Jewdonk immediately raced to the forum to post this encounter as a "WIN". OH MY! Yep Jewdonk you got your quarter back. YOU WON!

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LOL...

NO....

Hi Druff!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

FACT: Marty told MissIdaho "You smell nice" as the very first thing he said to her, upon meeting her in person at a party. Not "hi", not "nice to meet you", but "You smell nice".

FACT: Marty's dad sent him money to fix his awful teeth, and he loaded half of it up on Pokerstars and lost it. He walked around for months with pain in his mouth while begging Daddy to send him more to REALLY get his teeth done this time. Marty was in his 40s when this occurred.

FACT: In an effort to convince his mom to bankroll his "professional poker" career, Marty brought fuhoser to her home, and then told her that he's a professional poker player. "Give me a bankroll, and I can be like him," said Marty. Mommy declined. fuhoser himself reported this.

FACT: Marty embarrassed China at the WSOP when China was on the bubble of a $3k WSOP event, and everyone at the table kept asking, "Who is that freak?"

FACT: Marty came off like a pathetic loser when he met Weissman and his friend, and they couldn't wait to get away from him.

FACT: Marty embarrassed felon when they met in person, and the story of this became a 17-page HOF thread on NWP.

FACT: Marty vandalized a Ms. Pac-Man machine in Las Vegas, because he lost 50 cents in it. The bartender wouldn't give it back because she thought Marty was a broke vagrant making up the story, so he destroyed the coin receptor of the machine and ran out.

FACT: Marty appointed a career scammer as mod to his failsite. When people heard about this and complained, Marty claimed to have de-modded him, but secretly snuck the guy back on as mod under a new name. This guy proceeded to use Marty's site to set up a long con, and Marty sat back and had no problem with it.

FACT: Marty once scammed some poor British guy out of $5.50 on Pokerstars, and claimed he was too broke to pay it back.

FACT: Marty delivered a shitty product to one of his web design customers, got in a huge argument with the guy, and then posted the guy's info all over this site. The guy didn't respond here, but instead made good on his promise to get Marty's sorry ass booted out of Mexico.

Marty, go ahead and try to deny any of these, and I will post the proof to back it up.

Warm regards

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

So does anyone remember Felon? Felon was a real scumbag who had a run for a couple years right up until he got pinched for stealing
lottery tickets and selling them to Mexicans outside a Hope Depot. Folks, I am not making this up.

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Add re: the Felon lottery ticket story -- while Felon was awaiting trial, JD started his own radio show, and had Felon on his first show to talk about the lottery ticket charges...during the show Marty tired to get Felon to tell everything that happened, including confessing to the crime...of course Felon refused, as he knew that what he said on the show could be used in court against him...Marty was upset with Felon, because as Marty saw it, this confession was really going to make a big splash for his new show--supposedly Marty was Felon's friend, but of course, friendship from Marty takes a back seat to Marty getting what he wants...and after all, why should Marty be concerned about the prison term Felon would get by confessing? Marty's wants are more important than Felon getting prison time. (I listened to the show live, at the time i still thought Marty was interesting)


imho Marty/JD/Tyde is a textbook self-absorbed person...the focus on self to the exclusion of others comes from self doubt, feelings of inadequacy and failure; one is best to pity him from afar rather than getting involved with him and being dragged into his trouble.

some of you people spend a lot of time thinking about tyde.

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

FUHOSER.

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fuhoser rules. He used to ship me 10 on pokerstars. He also told me how to use proxies back when I was banned on sight at NWP. I love fuhoser

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Originally Posted by Zap_the_Fractions_Giraffe

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Just Stanley

FUHOSER.

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fuhoser rules. He used to ship me 10 on pokerstars. He also told me how to use proxies back when I was banned on sight at NWP. I love fuhoser

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Perhaps you'd care to share with the rest of the class on how not to waste a third of your life fiddling with internet crapola

Does anyone remember BITCHESBECRAZYJUNO? He had a flame war with Jewdonk that lasted like 2 years, and when BITCHESBECRAZYJUNO posted his porky girlfriend in a thong with a huge ass-zit things really took off.Not sure if that picture still exists, it was like 7 years ago. It went back and forth in that Jewdonk would never fuck a skank like that and BITCHESBECRAZYJUNO said he could never get any woman. Like I said back and forth.

So they met up in Las Vegas. HAVE I NOT SAID NEVER MEET UP WITH JEWDONK?

BITCHESBECRAZYJUNO met Jewdonk on the strip during Jewdonk's fail move. It was an uneventful trip report, EXCEPT THIS.

Jewdonk bragged relentlessly about his Volvo sedan for like 2 years on the forum. He even blew up Vegas1369 for having a Honda Civic. It literally was the centerpiece of the flames, in that he has a Volvo and nobody else had a Volvo. It was truly bizarre.

So when BITCHESBECRAZYJUNO went to Vegas, he called Jewdonk and Jewdonk took him for a ride on the strip. And GUESS WHAT?????? Jewdonk had already sold this ballin ass Volvo to basically live in a rented room. This was like 4 months after he was bragging about his Volvo. He had a piece of shit 9 year old car that barely run, Jewdonk went to Vegas and got pummeled on the tables and had to sell his wheels.

BITCHESBECRAZYJUNO basically crucified Jewdonk in a trip report.

We'll get to the ICE COLD AIR in the truck in a few days

Does anyone else think it's a bit offside to start a Tyde bashing thread while he's in the middle of some ocean making grilled cheese sandwiches for minimum wage Hondurans?

Red card for Druff to be piling on with his dupes.

Yellow card at a minimum for allowing this thread.

Out on a limb ........ TeamRazor or what ever the clown was called

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Deal

Does anyone else think it's a bit offside to start a Tyde bashing thread while he's in the middle of some ocean making grilled cheese sandwiches for minimum wage Hondurans?

Red card for Druff to be piling on with his dupes.

Yellow card at a minimum for allowing this thread.

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You have a point but this is bottomshit. He can't get any faggier.

Does anyone remember Miri? She was Druff's girlfriend/common law wife for many years on NWP and DD. I liked reading her posts and she was never shy about jumping into the fray that is for sure.

Anyway for several years Jewdonk and Tyde go into into a huge flame war and Jewdonk's #1 comeback line was "You are addicted to the Internet". For instance, whenever there was NWP radio Druff would figure out a way to co-host when he was on vacation, even if he had to tether his phone at a ski lodge. Jewdonk would relentlessly attack Druff saying he was "addicted to the internet".

So one night at an NWP get together in Las Vegas (DID I SAY NEVER MEET UP WITH JEWDONK?), Miri was having a heated conversation with Druff in a bar. Their relationship at this point was about finished, and here comes Jewdonk walking over to invade their space. At which Miri saw Jewdonk and screamed to Druff "You are addicted to the Internet!"

Oh My, you talk about feeding the beast, this became a topic for like a year on NWP/DD. This picture was used without mercy for many months by Tyde:

http://fm.cnbc.com/applications/cnbc...ng_Slide10.jpg

RIP dupemaster

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Deal

Does anyone else think it's a bit offside to start a Tyde bashing thread while he's in the middle of some ocean making grilled cheese sandwiches for minimum wage Hondurans?

Red card for Druff to be piling on with his dupes.

Yellow card at a minimum for allowing this thread.

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so game on now!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Deal

Does anyone else think it's a bit offside to start a Tyde bashing thread while he's in the middle of some ocean making grilled cheese sandwiches for minimum wage Hondurans?

Red card for Druff to be piling on with his dupes.

Yellow card at a minimum for allowing this thread.

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Druff agreed not to pile on Tyde via dupes. They even shared a freemasonic handshake afterwards. My money is on Adam Schoenfeld.