Blatant Gambling Scammer Christopher Mitchell (YouTube/Baccarat/Roulette/Sportsbetting)

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Originally Posted by zealanddonk

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

Chrissy is too dumb to realize how tough it is to become a pro athlete.

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Slight disagree, one version of Chrissy's origin story is that he was a bad ass highschool wrestler [so bad ass he sucker punched his father, the military vet] AND had a scholarship to a college [fairly sure about the scholarship part].

So while it was amateur wrestling, he technically had the concept of what was required to be a "pro" athlete, till he gave it all away to make easy money pulling his pud.

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But in his alternate ending version of the story, he was poised to play Major league baseball after hitting the Grand Slam in the 1989 Little League World Series!

He was even invited to the Detroit Tigers spring training and traveled to Tampa to attend, until he "got hurt" by taking a fast ball to the face!!!

I'm sure it was actually because he preferred to take old man balls to his face, but either way he made up some lies and fairy tales why he couldn't cut it!

Speaking of traveling, Chrissy seems to be conserving Mileage on the Leased Caddy SUV that has a loan on it?

Perhaps Mr. Foster said to stop putting so many miles on it picking up Gay dudes at Truck stops???



Also says he had to get a tire fixed.

Wonder if that's because SOMEBODY had his tire slashed when he was parked outside Gold Coast a few weeks ago???

Ooops...

Baby Jesus talked to him when he sold his $50k a month business for $5k....
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1349982730205268

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Originally Posted by 1dollarboxcar

Baby Jesus talked to him when he sold his $50k a month business for $5k....
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1349982730205268

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Whats the greatest way of showing your love and devotion to the Lord's only child?

According to Chrissy, its take him to the casino, wait till your wife is in the shitter and put him down as a bet on a table game.

That video was hilarious. Short, but hilarous.

"I treated that money like Baby JEE-zus!"

Amazingly, this is one of the first times that Chrissy talked for more than 60 seconds and stuck mostly to the truth.

I believe the vast majority of this story, aside from the "Now I'm a multimillionaire" part. Unless multimillionaires typically call their father-in-law and beg them to cosign $57k vehicle loans.

Anyway, the business thing is part of the Chrissy origin story which we never heard, but is probably either true or partially true. Picture this scene:


Chrissy comes to Vegas in 2019, for some kind of MLM Scammers convention. He tries gambling for the first time, which is already hilarious because he's 40 years old and somehow has never set foot into a casino. Being the simple-minded rube he is, he instantly becomes both a degenerate gambler and one who is ignorant enough to believe that simplistic strategies like Martingale can crush the casino. He doesn't bother to ask himself, "If it's this easy, how are casinos still in business?", but just keeps firing -- and losing.

Slowly everything disappears. He shoots off all the cash, sells both cars for way under market value (probably to a dealer or used car lot), maxes out credit cards, and takes out loans. Stacy, who is at home with their newborn, is freaking out and crying to Big Daddy Robert that Chrissy is ruining her life. Robert tells her to come back to Ohio and restart her life without him, and she considers it. She and Chrissy have loads of big fights, but he dismisses her as a dumb woman who doesn't understand his genius, and how she must not love him because she has no faith in him.

There's talk of divorce. Stacy is seriously considering packing her bags and taking Bubs to Ohio.

Then... it happens. Chrissy takes a deep breath and sells the last asset he has -- the scam MLM business itself. Not realizing that being an MLM middleman isn't a real "business", Chrissy way overestimates its worth and believes he can get $50k for it. Nobody wants it, because who would? If you want to get into MLM, you don't need to buy some asshole's "business", you can just jump into it yourself. There's no barrier to entry, which is why it appeals to dumb idiots who want to get rich quick. Anyway, one sucker falls for Chrissy's sales pitch but can't afford anything more than $5k, so that's what is offered, and Chrissy takes it out of desperation.

But does he lose that $5k?

By some miracle, he doesn't. He walks into the casino, plays $100/hand baccarat, and Martingale is kind to him. He never loses enough hands in a row to wipe him out, and he walks out ahead a few thousand. Then he tries it again. Similar result. Then he tries it again. Once again, Martingale works and he wins. Then he ups the stakes some, and he still wins. For a few months he does this, and he seems to win "every single day", where some miracle saves him from losing the dreaded 6 Martys in a row.

"See, I just needed to keep at it long enough. I am the one who keeps going until I succeed. I'm unique that way. Everyone else quits!", Chrissy tells himself.

At the same time, Chrissy is getting all kinds of offers and comps due to his baccarat action. Sweet life! He gets nice comps, he is effortlessly winning, and the casinos keep welcoming him back, as if they exist to give him free money, food, and suites. Life is good!

He also throws a big I TOLD YOU SO in Stacy's face, and she reluctantly accepts that maybe a low-IQ boob who dropped out of middle school, with no mathematical talent whatsoever, has figured out to legally beat the casinos.

Of course, given Chrissy's ego, it's not enough for just Stacy to know about this. He wants to tell the world!

He gets on YouTube and makes a video about how much he's crushing at gambling. Then some dumbo commenter asks, "Can you teach us how to do this?", and a dim light bulb pops over Chrissy's head.


"This is it! I have another business opportunity, and it's been right in front of my face the whole time. I will supplement my bankroll with COACHING revenue, where I teach everyone else how to destroy the casinos, and change their lives, too! And since I'm so successful with my very complex Martingale and table-hopping-when-you're-superstitious strategy, I can charge a fortune for these lessons!"

At this point, Chrissy has some losing sessions starting, and some are brutal. But he knows he's found his "golden goose". The videos are really picking up steam, and he's getting enough suckers buying his coaching (including his ridiculous $750 PDF strategy documents) to where that money comes right back.

Then comes February 2020, the infamous month where he loses $74k -- which is the rest of his bankroll. Chrissy decides his only recourse is to re-generate the money through "coaching", so he can run it up once again. After all, he already proved to himself he could win, so all he needs is a bankroll to smooth out the bad luck. His first order of business is to make a video claiming he WON $74k that month, rather than lost it.



Almost 6 years later, here we are.

I'm proud to say that, thanks to the efforts of people on PFA, there is no more YouTube channel, and his reach to new suckers is a fraction of what it was before.

The reason Chrissy is calling that money ‘Sweet Baby Jesus’ is cuz it is the last Loan from Sugar Daddy Foster!

“Hurr durr thank Sweet Baby Jesus for this bountiful bankroll from Mr. Foster!”

“Now I won’t have to pull a Pruett on some poor chum for another $5000!?!”



Just in time for the Rent payment 3 day grace period to be up!

$5000 a month In the Affinity Bunker and no money will be seen again til Chrissy’s booty birthday bash!

“Folks, sign up now, there’s only 2 spots left for the Masturbation Mind Meeting on Jan 9!?!”