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Originally Posted by GambleBotsChafedPenis
that hurts...Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilgore Trout
I am trying to get honest. I can't help your feelings of inadequacy. I’m sorry.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GambleBotsChafedPenisthat hurts...Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilgore Trout
I am trying to get honest. I can't help your feelings of inadequacy. I’m sorry.
You must know that time spent engaging in online social activities with strangers will offer very little in the way of positive long lasting satisfaction with life. The best thing you could do is delete your accounts, kick the pills, and travel for 6 months with a goal to reevaluate upon return. Keep a personal diary, share with nobody.
Yeah, pretty bold to start revealing yourself on this site of psychos.Quote:
Originally Posted by Deal
Listen to this guy.
http://youtu.be/0T-Eo0j092Q
You have the best words. Your post was so well written. The thing I enjoy most consistently here is the clever way some of the guys write. It could be just a single word.
Compulsive, educated, possessed opportunity but was unfulfilled, bored or unhappy. Sought out poker/gambling as an escape and did that compulsively and exclusively too.
Prefers speed to depressants (alcohol).
Would you describe yourself as an introvert or extrovert. Are people necessarily in your recipe for happiness?
Rings familiar. I quit my gig and lived at Foxwoods for 8 mo.s in 2007. There was a day when I just had enough of that too. It takes a while for the desire for that kind of rush to pass. It creeps up from time to time.
I have been back to Foxwoods maybe 5 times in 10 years. I feel so detached from whatever the attraction once was. It just looks stupid to me now.
I lived 8 mo.s at a poker table yet I just returned from Vegas. I played some 4/8 limit for 4 hours and that was it. Just something to do. There was no missing romance.
Aside from the Adderral, the biggest challenge is finding the next big thing to get compulsive about. That's where the people thing comes. The good stuff comes from networking and random acquaintances - a frigging miracle this ever happened in my case.
Not contributing much but your post is irresistible.
I was going to rep this but your take on Bannon is sophomoric and frankly delusional.
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Originally Posted by Deal
Cannot disagree. Deleted Facebook and Instagram. Months ago, actually. I prefer to live in the real world and actually experience things, in front of my eyes. My “virtual” life and real life are not too different - and if I live in one -I live in the other. I have (at least here) portrayed myself to be exactly who I am.
I write, regularly, although I often only journal the things I think would interest someone reading my writing. That changes today. Otherwise, what is the point? Considering how closed off I have allowed myself to become - forcing myself to go running/attend AA and then go to dinner each night afterwards, has really helped me tremendously.
Travel is happening, but have to get my shit together and heal a bit before I run away. No doubt - re-learning the value of $1 is the priority.
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Originally Posted by Avon BarksdaleYeah, pretty bold to start revealing yourself on this site of psychos.Quote:
Originally Posted by Deal
Listen to this guy.
If you read the first paragraph I wrote, I know my audience. I take a certain bit of comfort in the fact that I am, not a stranger in a strange land with any of my vices - while in these parts,.
Psychos and Sociopaths exist everywhere. I am neither naive nor so low on self worth that I rely on the validation of 25 math nerds to raise me up. I am under no illusion - being female and exposing myself to a bunch of guys. That said, give yourselves more credit than that. I mean this, in every positive way: for the most part, I find this group to be harmless, full of knowledge, firm and fair. I can more than handle what I have put out there. I expect/want nothing from this group (other than the dick pics, I am going to need those to continue) and I am not interested in finding my next wealthy Jew in these parts (Druff, if your myopia clears up, call me.)
It is what it is. I appreciate you (both) looking after my best interests. Truly. Even if I sound argumentative and cunty.
I guess I didn't meet you. I tried to return your pm when I saw it a few months late, but you had already given up posting and it wouldn't deliver. Apparently there's another attractive 100lb 40 year old reg at the Jack it appears from your photo. You're cheekier than the woman I met, unless the addies had you at 90lbs back in May. I encountered a pretty, but frailer lady than you appear in that photo.
Good luck to you. That dosage seems extreme from my limited adderall experience.
I've been largely absent during your most prolific posting, but I guess I'm curious exactly what was rock bottom? How many attempts to stop yourself did you fail at before attending AA? My impression of your posting was that of a woman with a strong personality. In my experience, that sort of personality type tries a do-it-yourself approach quite a few times before attending a 12 step. Did you simply know you were toast given the duration of your usage and go straight in? Do you feel like sleeping 12 hours a day after such long stim usage?
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Originally Posted by Kilgore TroutQuote:
Originally Posted by Avon Barksdale
If you read the first paragraph I wrote, I know my audience. I take a certain bit of comfort in the fact that I am, not a stranger in a strange land with any of my vices - while in these parts,.
Psychos and Sociopaths exist everywhere. I am neither naive nor so low on self worth that I rely on the validation of 25 math nerds to raise me up. I am under no illusion - being female and exposing myself to a bunch of guys. That said, give yourselves more credit than that. I mean this, in every positive way: for the most part, I find this group to be harmless, full of knowledge, firm and fair. I can more than handle what I have put out there. I expect/want nothing from this group (other than the dick pics, I am going to need those to continue) and I am not interested in finding my next wealthy Jew in these parts (Druff, if your myopia clears up, call me.)
It is what it is. I appreciate you (both) looking after my best interests. Truly. Even if I sound argumentative and cunty.
Even you, Blake. Regardless of the fact that Nita won’t let you sleep upstairs and feeds you sloppy, tasteless grits while the revolving door of Curtis Jackson lookalikes swing through at all hours and it has driven you to study the Quran 22 hours of the day - and your secretary wont even buy you the right flavor of Ciobani...you are included here.
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Originally Posted by BCR
I have a feeling it was me, not too many regs or semi-lookalikes hang out there...
Rock bottom, is more or less, now. In real time. It was the admission that my compulsions have gotten to the point that they overrides my desires, my thoughts and my emotions.
I am largely of the mindset that 12 step programs are cultish and appeal to those who cannot find the truth inside of themselves. I am also righteously aware that I need something else, besides my ego and lack of faith to bridge the gap between here and healthy thinking/living. I cant find fault in the rigidity and structure of a 12 step program. Other than stimulants and gambling - it is the only other thing I know of that is available for consumption 24/7.
I am a complete basketcase as far as sleep/energy. Typically I am good with 5 hours of sleep. Since kicking the Adderall - I wake up after 8 hours, am up 2, sleep another 4 and need a nap by 4 PM. If I make it to 10 PM - its a miracle. This is temporary and will improve. It’s the product of years of overstimulation and some depression.
Okay, I'll bite.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilgore Trout
Go ahead and explain this one.
Harmless dig at your impaired vision [when it comes to women.]Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Druff
Benjamin’s mom, excluded.
The lack of a "tits or GTFO" post yet is shocking.
Adderall was the only thing that I ever became dependent on. Dextroamphetamine was my jam.
Quit cold, mainly because I didn't have a line on any. Still grateful that I was never involved with people into the harder uppers.
Really sucked for awhile, never had physical withdrawals but was mentally shot. Gets better with time.
I'm the only blind one here. I call BS about there being anything big that Druff doesnt see when it comes to women... including the picture.
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Originally Posted by gut
If I posted my tits, there’d be nothing to discuss.
Don’t be that guy.
Also: Cathy just one upped all of you nerds.
Let’s just say that the curtains (post chemo) match the drapes. Her tits make mine look like Benjamin’s.
Lurker is God.
A girl turns up and now everyone's going touchy-feely, and started using long words and structured sentences.
The actual fuck?
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Originally Posted by Belly Buster
That's just how deeply into the closet these child molesters are. Very convincing aren't they?
Good luck healing yourself. I hope you find the peace you’re looking for.
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Originally Posted by Kilgore TroutQuote:
Originally Posted by gut
If I posted my tits, there’d be nothing to discuss.
Don’t be that guy.
Also: Cathy just one upped all of you nerds.
Let’s just say that the curtains (post chemo) match the drapes. Her tits make mine look like Benjamin’s.
Lurker is God.
Just to clarify I did not send any pics
Would you ever consider dating Jewdonk and assisting him break his nearly decade long streak of no sex? He’s quite the catch.
A girl turns up and now everyone's going touchy-feely, and started using long words and structured sentences.
The actual fuck?
You must have glossed over entry #47.
I suggest you button up and take a gander.
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Originally Posted by hutmaster
You’re more my type. And that’s not saying too much.
I’m assuming it’s only because I’m an actual Jew and I’m cut.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilgore TroutQuote:
Originally Posted by hutmaster
You’re more my type. And that’s not saying too much.
I didn't mean you I meant everyone else.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilgore Trout
Look at me
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Originally Posted by Sanlmar
I am an extrovert. A leader, never a follower. I also can be oppositional and defiant. That said, I really dig doing things solo. I enjoy other people - only to the extent that I can tolerate being around them, which recently, is not at all. I am (and always have been) fascinated by human behavior. I love people watching. Conversely, I hate being studied or critiqued. I really enjoy social situations that I can control. I cannot deal if things become too personal or I cannot control my environment. Does that make sense?
Re: getting compulsive about something else - you are right. It’s a matter of replacing a good/healthier behavior for the less than healthy habits I have acquired. I am a master throwing myself 100% into something I derive pleasure from.
I have herd that when you cut your hair it is the start when you change your life. Hopefully for the better. Having someone there to encourage you and listen can’t be bad unless they drag you down.
If you serously are done with poker and gambling self excluding will seal the deal for the most part course there are always workarounds if you are hopelessly addicted and can’t stop.
I about a month ago decided I was done with online poker as well and self excluded my self from the site I played on for good not going back. I will probably play live some time although I haven’t in more than a year.
No drug or booze problem thankfully, but I do work way more than I should and have a hard time relaxing when I am not unless I am exhausted.
Good luck KT stay healthy
i'm assuming it's cause you're not homelessQuote:
Originally Posted by hutmasterI’m assuming it’s only because I’m an actual Jew and I’m cut.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilgore Trout
#3 - is there a God and if so, is it one we have been introduced to?
jews make up, what, like 4% of the us populationQuote:
Originally Posted by hutmasterI’m assuming it’s only because I’m an actual Jew and I’m cut.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilgore Trout
so how or why do they make up half the pfa user base?
Not a query, just something to chew on:
https://youtu.be/d1U3MyX0pmE
I have nothing even remotely anti-Semitic to add here.Quote:
Originally Posted by WillieMcFMLjews make up, what, like 4% of the us populationQuote:
Originally Posted by hutmaster
so how or why do they make up half the pfa user base?
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Originally Posted by devideeI have nothing even remotely anti-Semitic to add here.Quote:
Originally Posted by WillieMcFML
:shock
My upbringing was Jewish, only in terms of reformed tradition. (ie lighting candles, exchanging gifts, Bar Mitzvahs, Seder.) Literally, only the things you "here about Jewish people doing." I went to a predominantly Catholic private school, inclusive of a school-wide daily chapel meeting (which claimed to be non-secular) however we read hymns from a hymnal, 98% of the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tellafriend
I believe that there is some higher power - I just don't know and don't care to dig too deep. I have a real issue with ambiguities - like space and time, so trying to rationalize what more there is or what the meaning of all this shit is, is not something I like to do. As a kid, I spent more than my share of sleepless nights wondering if this universe simply existed as a cell making up the smallest being in the next largest universe. Like I said, I can't deal with anything other than the tangible.
In recent years, I have started practice a shitload of yoga to reach a relaxed/meditative state. I have a bleak outlook on the world and worry that I may never be able to make peace with some things. Specifically, I am often really bothered about something that seems banal to even bring it up...however, its that I can't find logic in the idea that that war/violence solve anything. I am fiercely opposed to and refuse to hear anything to the contrary. I mention it, because I realize that none of these things are going away. Death, is imminent and its really much healthier to find some sort of belief, change my attitude about the inevitable and deal with it.
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Originally Posted by devideeI have nothing even remotely anti-Semitic to add here.Quote:
Originally Posted by WillieMcFML
lol, wow.
Do you have children?
I cannot imagine that lifestyle and raising several kids.
I do, as I have intimated. They are well cared for and more sheltered than not. I have made protecting them a priority.Quote:
Originally Posted by DonaldTrumpsHairPiece
Not that my substance abuse can really be justified, I can say that my ability to parent, has never been in question. I have never been impaired to the point that it was evident. My girls have never seen me so much as have a glass of wine. Thankfully, they have very limited knowledge of what poker/casinos are. They do know, that I "enjoy playing cards and make money doing it."
I was married for 9 years. My children's father was the best guy to date in my 20's, but a shitty husband and I knew it before we were married. There is no telling this to a 28 year woman intent on making babies. Since we split, 6 years ago, I have found renewed respect and admiration for him. As shitty of a husband as he was, is as wonderful of a father as he has become. I am lucky to have him backing me up.
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Originally Posted by Kilgore TroutI do, as I have intimated. They are well cared for and more sheltered than not. I have made protecting them a priority.Quote:
Originally Posted by DonaldTrumpsHairPiece
Not that my substance abuse can really be justified, I can say that my ability to parent, has never been in question. I have never been impaired to the point that it was evident. My girls have never seen me so much as have a glass of wine. Thankfully, they have very limited knowledge of what poker/casinos are. They do know, that I "enjoy playing cards and make money doing it."
I was married for 9 years. My children's father was the best guy to date in my 20's, but a shitty husband and I knew it before we were married. There is no telling this to a 28 year woman intent on making babies. Since we split, 6 years ago, I have found renewed respect and admiration for him. As shitty of a husband as he was, is as wonderful of a father as he has become. I am lucky to have him backing me up.
Good to hear, "more sheltered than not." is a curious statement but I won't delve.
You seem like someone with a lot going on and a lot of competence, we all can use a little slow down. Don't let your hands become too idle around the bad choices. It is not easy to slow and avoid the triggers, stay busy in a slow way lol
Just stay away from Drexel or you will end up Deeeeeeeed. Hopefully you can forget the fun ride and live a normal life, unfortunately taint easy. Good luck.