Expensive Escorts

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Originally Posted by rum dick

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Originally Posted by Henry

I'm not saying Krypt's a made nigga - because really I'm not part of the decision team for that type of thing - but I will say he certainly carries himself like that of a made nigga.

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As for the topic at hand, I've shagged well over 50+ hookers. I started doing it when I was 18.

I've definitely eaten some hooker pussy, not going to lie to you. I've even gone raw dog. A lot. I've fucked three at a time. I've fucked midgets. I've fucked women who were nine months pregnant. I've fucked blacks and whites, and Cubans and Mexicans and Europeans and a girl from every Asian country, literally. I've fucked Indians and grandmas and centerfolds and pornstars. I've made videos, slow motion high definition cumshot videos.

These fellas, they don't understand our generation, Krypt.

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yeah we are gonna need the midget hooker trip report

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Just keep it short, OK?

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Originally Posted by Wiganer

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Originally Posted by rum dick

yeah we are gonna need the midget hooker trip report

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Just keep it short, OK?

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I just hope its not a tall tale

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Originally Posted by Mintjewlips

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Originally Posted by Wiganer

Just keep it short, OK?

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I just hope its not a tall tale

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Henry will just tell another story that will Dwarf that one

henry reminds me of the quiet buddy who never says shit but when he does it's always really funny

Never been to a hooker before (seriously), but I do know all about The Erotic Review.

I first came upon it about 10 years ago, and found it to be incredibly entertaining. I loved to read the "Ripoff!" section for lulz.

However, most of the good stuff (the "details") was hidden behind the pay area.

I saw that you could get a free 30 day premium subscription if you submitted two reviews of your own.

Wanting that access, but not wanting to negatively impact the site, I wrote some fake reviews which mimicked the existing reviews I had already read. So I would find a girl with overwhelming positive reviews and write a positive one, or I'd find one with overwhelming negative reviews and write another negative one.

I did this for about 2 months in a row, before I got bored with it and stopped reading the site.

However, I agree with DRK that a site like this is a must if you're going to do this stuff. Otherwise you risk getting either catfished or robbed.

I've never picked up a hooker but I've bought a lot of women dinner and never got so much as a hand job.......i should have bought a hooker.

And where the fuck do you find a midget hooker??

Please enlighten me Henry

Henry, can you explain the grandma thing?

I can almost understand the desire to fuck a midget. But grandmas?

Unless you're talking about 40-year-old grandmas who were from a trash family that reproduces every 20 years.

Druff,

How can you read that post and NOT immediately give rep.

You're a monster.

This thread may have to be renamed OFFICIAL HOF COPY PASTA THREAD

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Originally Posted by Henry

Druff, there was never any desire to fuck a grandma. There's no grandma thing.

I've had hookers tell me they're a grandma, unprovoked, or tell me they have children older than I am. But I would guess the oldest woman I've paid to have sex with was still under sixty-five.

I have had sex with a seventy-four year old when I was nineteen.

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:cosby





This breaks all records I know of lol

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Originally Posted by Krypt

I just became a VIP member on TER, and i've got a couple of questions:

1) Is it a bad idea to go down on these girls? I'm honestly not sure if these dudes that review chicks are just reckless perverts or what, but it seems that the top shelf girls with ratings 8+ are actually cool with 69, etc.

2) Should I pay extra for anal?

3) Is it kosher to make out with these girls and receive bbbj's from them, as it seems like that's what most of these guys are getting. I mean these girls are charging 500+ hourly; what are the chances of getting herpes (only std that im truly afraid, hiv is irrelevant because condom is obv)

Discuss

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Herpes is a minor skin irritation that isn't progressive or debilitating. You're more afraid of that than HIV?

Condoms drastically reduce the chance of HIV transmission but you want anal which has a much higher rate of condom failure and a much higher rate of transmission of all STDs. Better stay away from anal IMO. Any exchange of bodily fluids carries some risk of HIV transmission though kissing her and going down on her are very low risk.

Can't help with the prostitution part, but there must be plenty of degens on this board who can.

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Originally Posted by 4Dragons

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Originally Posted by Shizzmoney

I would assume the better looking the chick, the more likely she has the death because of the fact that more dudes from probably plowed through her like she was a highway full of snow.



Or even worse, get you arrested. Cops here in Massachusetts run stings on there all the time (they even nabbed a high paying professor at Northeastern recently). There is also the danger of catfishing; one dude robbed 8 others posing as a woman online before he eventually got caught.

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Some of the hookers around here have been pulling knives on guys and holding it to their balls whilst they rob them blind... I mean like for years this has been de rigueur policy for some of these ho's.

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Legalize it and it will be a lot harder for them to get away with this shit.

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Originally Posted by Mintjewlips

There's nothing better then someone who actually wants to blow you. I'd rather fuck a fat chick with linebacker shoulders then go on backpage and find some catfish who looks nothing like her picture..because its a sting...now it comes full circle...you wind up fucking your hand either way.....sooo just jerk off

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Couldn't agree more. I don't want to be with a woman who's with me because I'm paying her. Does nothing for me.

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Originally Posted by rum dick

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Originally Posted by Henry

I'm not saying Krypt's a made nigga - because really I'm not part of the decision team for that type of thing - but I will say he certainly carries himself like that of a made nigga.

_________________________________________


As for the topic at hand, I've shagged well over 50+ hookers. I started doing it when I was 18.

I've definitely eaten some hooker pussy, not going to lie to you. I've even gone raw dog. A lot. I've fucked three at a time. I've fucked midgets. I've fucked women who were nine months pregnant. I've fucked blacks and whites, and Cubans and Mexicans and Europeans and a girl from every Asian country, literally. I've fucked Indians and grandmas and centerfolds and pornstars. I've made videos, slow motion high definition cumshot videos.

These fellas, they don't understand our generation, Krypt.

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yeah we are gonna need the midget hooker trip report

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And the grandma and the preggo

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Originally Posted by Lord of the Fraud

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Originally Posted by Henry

Druff, there was never any desire to fuck a grandma. There's no grandma thing.

I've had hookers tell me they're a grandma, unprovoked, or tell me they have children older than I am. But I would guess the oldest woman I've paid to have sex with was still under sixty-five.

I have had sex with a seventy-four year old when I was nineteen.

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:cosby






This breaks all records I know of lol

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In my late teens, I probably would have hit someone like this if the opportunity had arisen.



No. Make that "... definitely..."

Banged some absolute creatures in my time Mumbles. But a 74yo dragon from POF is beyond even my dirty dick.

But I don't judge. Horny Henry needed his sack drained and wasn't afraid to lube up his skin & bones catch to get the job done.


Now, more trip reports please Henry.

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Originally Posted by Henry

Druff, there was never any desire to fuck a grandma. There's no grandma thing.

I've had hookers tell me they're a grandma, unprovoked, or tell me they have children older than I am. But I would guess the oldest woman I've paid to have sex with was still under sixty-five.

I have had sex with a seventy-four year old when I was nineteen. I met her on pof. She had a profile that was essentially an open invitation. I drove two hours both ways to visit her before cumming inside her multiple times. She took me to a breakfast diner at one point in the middle. It was disgusting. I mean the overall experience that is, the chocolate chip pancakes were good enough.

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http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...X200_QL80_.jpg

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Originally Posted by Henry

Druff, there was never any desire to fuck a grandma. There's no grandma thing.

I've had hookers tell me they're a grandma, unprovoked, or tell me they have children older than I am. But I would guess the oldest woman I've paid to have sex with was still under sixty-five.

I have had sex with a seventy-four year old when I was nineteen. I met her on pof. She had a profile that was essentially an open invitation. I drove two hours both ways to visit her before cumming inside her multiple times. She took me to a breakfast diner at one point in the middle. It was disgusting. I mean the overall experience that is, the chocolate chip pancakes were good enough.

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Was about to criticize the cumming inside her thing, but then I realized you couldn't get her pregnant even if it was 25 years ago.

HORNY HENRY IS GOD

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Originally Posted by Henry

Druff, there was never any desire to fuck a grandma. There's no grandma thing.

I've had hookers tell me they're a grandma, unprovoked, or tell me they have children older than I am. But I would guess the oldest woman I've paid to have sex with was still under sixty-five.

I have had sex with a seventy-four year old when I was nineteen. I met her on pof. She had a profile that was essentially an open invitation. I drove two hours both ways to visit her before cumming inside her multiple times. She took me to a breakfast diner at one point in the middle. It was disgusting. I mean the overall experience that is, the chocolate chip pancakes were good enough.

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I pretty much have the same problem, I have proven time and time again that I will pretty much stick my dick in anything.

Henry is my new favorite poster

GOD

And then there were two:

1)

Name: "Khym"
Trafficked from: Thailand
Agent: "Vivian"
Verified and Reviewed: Yes
Appearance rating (via TER): 8.12
Performance rating (via TER): 8.5
Overall rating: 8.31
Height: 5'0" - 5'2"
Build: Thin
Breast appearance: "Youthful"
Pussy: Shaved
Blowjob: Yes - without condom
Cum in mouth: Yes - spits it out
Lick pussy: Yes
Anal: Yes
Rimming: Give & Receive - Yes





2)


Name: "Ms. Bentley"
Trafficked from: Midwest USA
Agent: Independent
Verified and Reviewed: Yes
Appearance rating (via TER): 8.21
Performance rating (via TER): 8.71
Overall rating: 8.46
Height: 5'3" - 5'5"
Build: Athletic
Breast appearance: "Super nice"
Pussy: Landing strip
Blowjob: Yes - without condom
Cum in mouth: Yes - swallows
Lick pussy: Yes
Anal: Yes
Rimming: Receive - Yes

Bentley

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Originally Posted by Krypt

And then there were two:

1)

Name: "Khym"
Trafficked from: Thailand
Agent: "Vivian"
Verified and Reviewed: Yes
Appearance rating (via TER): 8.12
Performance rating (via TER): 8.5
Overall rating: 8.31
Height: 5'0" - 5'2"
Build: Thin
Breast appearance: "Youthful"
Pussy: Shaved
Blowjob: Yes - without condom
Cum in mouth: Yes - spits it out
Lick pussy: Yes
Anal: Yes
Rimming: Give & Receive - Yes





2)


Name: "Ms. Bentley"
Trafficked from: Midwest USA
Agent: Independent
Verified and Reviewed: Yes
Appearance rating (via TER): 8.21
Performance rating (via TER): 8.71
Overall rating: 8.46
Height: 5'3" - 5'5"
Build: Athletic
Breast appearance: "Super nice"
Pussy: Landing strip
Blowjob: Yes - without condom
Cum in mouth: Yes - swallows
Lick pussy: Yes
Anal: Yes
Rimming: Receive - Yes

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Are these 3 figure hoes or 4 figure hoes?

Im going to guess that since they have some pretty high scores on TER (Generally, if you are higher than a 7, it means you are pretty much down to party and do close to anything, and are at least good at it) and decent bodies, they will be around 300-400/hr. If those were in big cities, it would go up to 500/hr (hoes gotta pay hotel costs).

I dont know where you live, but you should not pay more than 400/hr for either of those two.

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Originally Posted by gut

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Originally Posted by MumblesBadly

Krypt,

Why don't you get a decent video camera, and advertise for porn actresses to audition for a movie you are making about a shy rich young man looking to lose his virginity?

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Or, krypt, buy an 18-wheeler and have Mumbles teach you the "book".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diFDBNNmnnU

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1yb7PQw4o

Bump.

Thanks for bumping... TR incoming

UPDATE: I got completely wasted at a frat party since everyone was celebrating finals being over/cinco; it was lit, but honestly the ratio at this party wasn't kosher at all, and I was literally too fucked up to converse from all the shots of tequila. I was obv horny as fuck tho since I hadn't blown a load in over two weeks. To make a long story short, I found this THICK PAWG from Texas who was visiting the area and I ubered over to her incall for an hour session. And yes, I told the uber driver (fat asian early 30s, chill vibe) that I was going to fuck a hooker, we brofisted, and I told him to wait for me in the hotel parking lot. He said he would not only wait for me, but he would give me a free ride BACK (shoutout to micon) if and only if I recorded the session. I'm not going to lie to you folks, I was taken aback by this dude's complete brashness and disregard for all social norms/decency, but I agreed to do it because I'm a bro and this azn was really entertaining my drunken antics by not killing my vibe. Before I go any further, I want to make it crystal clear that this hooker I was about to smash was NOT a PREMIUM hooker, as this meeting was impromptu and fueled mostly by plastic handle tequila, salt, and SmartWater. Moving on: After receiving a confirmation text of the room #, I gingerly walked through the raggedy Extended Stay's lobby and straight to the elevator without even looking at the dipshits behind the front desk. I was on a mission to slay this blonde -- some would say, tunnel vision. While on the elevator up to her room, I suddenly remebered that I had to record the audio for my gook uber driver, so that's when the audio recording starts. At this point, I'm starting to get a bit nervous in spite of the liquid courage lodged in my liver, but I ultimately make my way to the door and knock.....

Okay, I'm going to be frank: the pictures this chick used in her ad was ballpark 15-20 pounds ago, but again, I would not be detered from the mission at hand. I dropped the blank envelope with $250 in it and stripped buck naked. I'm not going to sensationalize the rest of the experience, but she was actually really nice and we banged in multiple postions. Finally, after about 10 minutes of pounding this chicks fat ass from behind, I busted a two week nut all over her back. She was a moaner and liked to talk dirty, but I'm not really into vulgarity and generally viewed her as low class.

I make a clean exit without fear of a chris hanson situation. My uber driver is there waiting for me outside the valet area, and we both bust out laughing as I approach the Acura (lol). Together, we soundcheck the 45 minute recording to make sure everything was kosher, and it was. I send the iphone recorded audio through the app's cloud service and we're off. The drive back was uneventful and frankly awkward, as I realized this guy would be fapping to my degenerate sexual exploits. Im hungover and nimbly rehashing this story on my phone, so thsts all I've got for now.

I will get around to posting the audio maybe later today, unless druff objects.

This was the girl:

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Originally Posted by Krypt

I busted a two week nut all over her back.

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you... fucked a whore...... with no condom........

Or is it more likely I took the condom off?

...kay..................

How big was her dick?

Please test yourself for super aids

Forget her carrying around diseases cause that is a given but what everyone really just wants to know is if her deodorant game was on point.

Lauren A looks a little more like a Lauren C-

That trashy whore is bad enough but plastic handle tequila is inexcusable. A young up and comer like yourself shouldn't be drinking anything below Don Julio level tequila. Have a little pride in yourself.

" She was a moaner and liked to talk dirty, but I'm not really into vulgarity and generally viewed her as low class."

i lol'd at this.

Krypt being "the uber driver (fat asian early 30s, chill vibe)" is the only believable part of this story.

She looks like the typical BP Ho in the DMV and priced about the same too.. Although they do tend to charge more in MD due to the higher income tax rates.. (oh wait nevermind the BP hos don't pay taxes)