Coping w/Severe Depression & Regrets (Venting)

You may have crossed the line at times during your life, but you're still breathing and feeling some remorse. Cunts don't feel genuine remorse. Honestly they don't.


Those people you hurt that really know you, likely know you're not an outright cunt. They'll know you have a unique, impulsive, and dare I say, addictive personality. So no matter how low you took it. I doubt they thought they were seeing a side to you that they didn't know you had.


But ye, some shit just can't be taken back. And I bet it was you that came off worst after the dust had settled on most of your vicious, verbal assaults.


The shit you're feeling now IS the consequence of your regrets. That is infinitely times more better than having no feeling at all.


So accept, carry and wear. And keep marching forwards.

I'd also like to add that on top of the guilt and regrets I have from fractured relationships and my resume' of venomous verbal assaults in the past, the depression I live with is exponentially compounded by the state of the world and human nature in general.

I get really worn down by all the evil and hatrid, not to mention the fact that humanity can't seem to coexist peacefully.

We murder each other, steal from each other, shit all over the planet polluting it with countless toxins, and slaughter endangered species without remorse.

We sadly live in a world populated by child molesters, ruthless drug cartels, and countless other forms of incomprehensible savagery.

I really do everything in my power to be upbeat, optimistic and look for the best in people, but the stark reality is that human beings are more often than not, heartless and black hearted animals.

It saddens me deeply to live in a world filled with so much rage, and blatant disregard for our beautiful planet.

Tyde have you ever considered confession? Like to a priest or Rabbi? Just sayin. Might make you feel better starting over with a clean slate.

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Originally Posted by Tyde

I'd also like to add that on top of the guilt and regrets I have from fractured relationships and my resume' of venomous verbal assaults in the past, the depression I live with is exponentially compounded by the state of the world and human nature in general.

I get really worn down by all the evil and hatrid, not to mention the fact that humanity can't seem to coexist peacefully.

We murder each other, steal from each other, shit all over the planet polluting it with countless toxins, and slaughter endangered species without remorse.

We sadly live in a world populated by child molesters, ruthless drug cartels, and countless other forms of incomprehensible savagery.

I really do everything in my power to be upbeat, optimistic and look for the best in people, but the stark reality is that human beings are more often than not, heartless and black hearted animals.

It saddens me deeply to live in a world filled with so much rage, and blatant disregard for our beautiful planet.

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What do you think reality TV and the celebrity culture was invented for?


I too am disgusted with the human race. Like it really bothers me how badly we've fucked it up.


We're a failed species and its probably about time nature done its thing. Allow some other single cell organism to evolve 30 million years from now and give them a shot as the dominant force on this wonderful planet.

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Originally Posted by IamGreek

Tyde have you ever considered confession? Like to a priest or Rabbi? Just sayin. Might make you feel better starting over with a clean slate.

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Not a bad idea, but I have a hunch I'd just end up debating the inconsistencies and flawed logic of the bible and most likely get kicked out of church

A few things that I think are of value:

1. We have been fed this spoonful of shit over and over again that humans are inherently good. That's a huge fucking lie. We are terrible, and this concept of that the average person is just a good human being fucks with a lot of us. I think it makes it harder to extend grace and compassion to others for their mistakes because we have been told over and over that people are and are supposed to be good. So when somebody fucks up or creates chaos in our life in some negative way, we hold them to this fake standard that doesn't really exist. By accepting that people are not inherently good, I have found that it is actually easier to forgive people of their mistakes and transgressions and just move on with my life.

2. I had to learn the hard way that I can only be ultimately responsible for myself. Worrying about the world or things I can't change doesn't do me or anyone around me any good. So if everyday I just be the best of myself and be the person I want to be then it's amazing how so much of the rest of your life and happiness falls into place.

3. You'll always have the Trump thread. That shit is going to hit a million views.

Keep being you, this place is much better when you are here, especially when you are living and enjoying life and sharing it with us.

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Originally Posted by Tyde

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Originally Posted by IamGreek

Tyde have you ever considered confession? Like to a priest or Rabbi? Just sayin. Might make you feel better starting over with a clean slate.

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Not a bad idea, but I have a hunch I'd just end up debating the inconsistencies and flawed logic of the bible and most likely get kicked out of church

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If you have the time check out Jordan Peterson's Maps of Meaning lecture series. He demonstrates the outright malevolence of mankind, proves we all have it in us, but also that we are per-programmed to continue exploration, share knowledge, and survive. He is very well read and well spoken. A very entertaining yet educational journey if you have the inclination.

Jordan has been in the news lately as the main outspoken opponent of leftwing PC culture and its insidious encroachment on our wholesomeness.

http://jordanbpeterson.com/maps-of-meaning/

GL Martin and keep writing. You have a real talent for it.

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Originally Posted by LarryLaffer

or.......

just drink less........

much, much, much, less.

really....

you're an adult.........

Blaming this on your father for leaving your mother is fucking selfish. He was supposed to stick around and not be happy so you could grow up to be happy? No, nature vs nurture doesn't apply here. YOUR NATURE, is that you're a terrible human being. Not in a serial killer sort of way, but in a waste of space-i want everything to be handed to me on a silver platter- where's my 35k lifetime score- type terrible.

terrible begets terrible...

perhaps the apple didn't fall far from the tree Martin.


I think of all the families your president that you elected broke apart. and I have no sympathy for you anymore. yeah that's right. That guy you taut and love so much, that you started a thread about, the big one. the guy you have in your avatar. that guy. that guy just made millions of people feel the same way you did/do.

think about that for a moment.

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Wow you are dumb. There are valid reasons for a parent to pack up and leave, but often it's just a selfish move. If you have or plan on having a family you must stick it out at least until
they get through school, when they don't want that much to do with you anyway. All kinds of crap can influence a kid, even in the best of homes, but having a parent leave must be one of the worst.

And as far as your alcohol consumption "advice". Alcohol cuts through pain in pretty quick fashion. It's legal, it's everywhere and everyone is doing it. Not much different from today's antidepressants, just different side effects. People suffering from depression are often well past drinking age before they have been diagnosed. As for medication and their side effects, results may vary. It's still the shotgun approach for the meds even with a proper diagnoses.

The rest of the crap you posted actually points the finger back at you. What's goin on Larry?

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Originally Posted by LarryLaffer

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Originally Posted by lewfather

Marty is good people, I just hope it works out brother. Takes balls to say shit like this and naturally pussys like larry have to come in and try to fuck it up. Can we restrict this mong yet? my god.

GL Marty.

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lolololololol.


snowflakes

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Originally Posted by Tyde

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Originally Posted by LarryLaffer

or.......

just drink less........

much, much, much, less.

really....

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I don't expect shit to be 'handed to me' and never have. I work my ass off at my job and never asked anyone to give me something for free, and that includes family

And to be clear, I never said I blamed my father for anything...I was suggesting that having a father figure in my life would have likely had a strong impact on the choices I've made and the person I am today.

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Marty, you are aware of that high regular alcohol consumption can thwart emotional healing, right?

P.S. I also lost my father at a young age (8), and I spent a number of years looking for father figures to fill in the emotional holes in my psyche from that loss, oftentimes quite self-defeatingly.

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Originally Posted by abrown83

A few things that I think are of value:

1. We have been fed this spoonful of shit over and over again that humans are inherently good. That's a huge fucking lie. We are terrible, and this concept of that the average person is just a good human being fucks with a lot of us. I think it makes it harder to extend grace and compassion to others for their mistakes because we have been told over and over that people are and are supposed to be good. So when somebody fucks up or creates chaos in our life in some negative way, we hold them to this fake standard that doesn't really exist. By accepting that people are not inherently good, I have found that it is actually easier to forgive people of their mistakes and transgressions and just move on with my life.

2. I had to learn the hard way that I can only be ultimately responsible for myself. Worrying about the world or things I can't change doesn't do me or anyone around me any good. So if everyday I just be the best of myself and be the person I want to be then it's amazing how so much of the rest of your life and happiness falls into place.

3. You'll always have the Trump thread. That shit is going to hit a million views.

Keep being you, this place is much better when you are here, especially when you are living and enjoying life and sharing it with us.

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Forging souls with the furnace of affliction.

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Originally Posted by Tyde

I'd also like to add that on top of the guilt and regrets I have from fractured relationships and my resume' of venomous verbal assaults in the past, the depression I live with is exponentially compounded by the state of the world and human nature in general.

I get really worn down by all the evil and hatrid, not to mention the fact that humanity can't seem to coexist peacefully.

We murder each other, steal from each other, shit all over the planet polluting it with countless toxins, and slaughter endangered species without remorse.

We sadly live in a world populated by child molesters, ruthless drug cartels, and countless other forms of incomprehensible savagery.

I really do everything in my power to be upbeat, optimistic and look for the best in people, but the stark reality is that human beings are more often than not, heartless and black hearted animals.

It saddens me deeply to live in a world filled with so much rage, and blatant disregard for our beautiful planet.

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Abrown (1) below has a great deal of wisdom. But I get the sense that deep emotional pain you are carrying drives you to look for things outside of yourself for contentment. And that is ultimately a prescription for great disappointment. Because they *is* a lot of shittiness to be seen in the world. And unresolved inner pain can subconsciously guide us to be hyperaware of that in the world which is ugly and disturbing. And attempting to paper over those feelings by trying to be upbeat and optimistic is like trying to treat pancreatic cancer by wearing nice clothing and listening to cheery music.

I was raised by a single mother who worked full time and that translated to times with baby sitters at 6 a.m. and alone after school, not playing catch in the yard etc. My mother busted her ass for decades to be sure I ate well and wanted for nothing. Sure I didn't have a father figure and sure it would have been nice if I think of it but you can't miss what you never had. I turned out fine because my mother more than made up for it with her love, character and hard work.

If anything I likely turned out a better person for it.

I know plenty of depressed and just plain assholes who had both parents.

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Originally Posted by DonaldTrumpsHairPiece

I was raised by a single mother who worked full time and that translated to times with baby sitters at 6 a.m. and alone after school, not playing catch in the yard etc. My mother busted her ass for decades to be sure I ate well and wanted for nothing. Sure I didn't have a father figure and sure it would have been nice if I think of it but you can't miss what you never had. I turned out fine because my mother more than made up for it with her love, character and hard work.

If anything I likely turned out a better person for it.

I know plenty of depressed and just plain assholes who had both parents.

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Yeh, no one said similar circumstances would affect everyone the same. My Dad lost his father at a young and
was affected by it but not so you'd notice. A parent leaving is different than a death. One can be explained much easier. My Mom was adopted and like many sought her birth parents out late in life.
How did I turn out so well you ask?

I have a lot of respect for someone who can put themselves out there, especially on a forum like this.

We all handle rough situations differently and cope in our own way.

I realize not everyone can do this but I try to look at life as a blessing to even be here. Their can be so many downs and things that happen that I wish went differently but many are out of my control. A lot of things are definitely a challenge and can be depressing but my escape is thinking about how much worse off a lot of people are then I am.

I didn't really want to go this route but sometimes I look at it as I could be some poor, hungry, dehydrated, and ill person in African without a roof over my head living on the street,etc... When I think about this I tell myself that despite certain things I've had to go through this type of life must really be sad and have no fulfillment.

It's just my way of looking at things but I've lost a lot of important family very young, never lived with both my parents since they divorced before I was 2, lost my dad around 13 years old, lost my mom several years later but still very young which was the toughest moment in my life,etc...

Certain things we have no control over and it sucks. I try to remember the positive stuff and take any good that might have happened in any relationship/situation instead of letting it win by getting the best of me. Not everyone can do this and if you can't don't feel bad about it because tens of millions struggle the same way.

Stay strong in your fight!

Also...

ATTENTION LarryLaffer!

Stay the hell out of this thread like Tyde (OP) requested. You don't need to chime with five posts on a single page in as many threads as you do. Apparently you haven't figured it out that this is why a lot of people are annoyed by you otherwise you would slow it down sir unless your mission is to be disliked by as many people here as possible.

@limitles, I agree while both circumstances can either make or break a person in life I would imagine a death (losing parent at a young age) could be much harder, especially at formative ages.

I know a few who lost parents in the 12-18 yr old range and they all are bothered by it hard to this day.

Its much easier to have dad cheat on mom and run away when your 5 yrs old by far.

Marty...I'm sure I'm the last person you want to hear advice from...but you need to keep this job you have. Don't go back to Mexico and start drinking again. Drinking seems to be your way of self medicating. It also seems to bring out the worst in you. All that anger comes out and you lash out at everyone. You regret things you've done and said. You realize you made mistakes. Bad people aren't capable of that. Focus on your job, and working on yourself. Things will get better.

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Originally Posted by Muck Ficon

Marty...I'm sure I'm the last person you want to hear advice from...but you need to keep this job you have. Don't go back to Mexico and start drinking again. Drinking seems to be your way of self medicating. It also seems to bring out the worst in you. All that anger comes out and you lash out at everyone. You regret things you've done and said. You realize you made mistakes. Bad people aren't capable of that. Focus on your job, and working on yourself. Things will get better.

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Last several months he's done himself proud by getting his shit together in a big way. He's now got the respect of professionals. People who he himself respects.


That in turn has provided clarity of what he is now, to what he 'was' when hanging with mostly unsavoury deadbeats. People who wouldn't piss on him if it came to it.


Newfound self respect and happiness brings humbleness and reflection. And with that comes facing the demons which were easier to bury when you barely give a fuck about yourself, nevermind anybody else.

His challenge is to own and accept those demons. The toothpaste isn't going back into the tube. Once that's settled in his head. Then the weight of depression and anxiety should be lifted somewhat.


And he should go back to Mexico. But this time on a vacation getting waited on hand and foot in a nice hotel, all while mingling with respectable beach bunnies.

Don't mean to hijack, but I would like to respond to FTP:

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Originally Posted by ftpjesus

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Originally Posted by LarryLaffer

and im suggesting that you're full of shit. you think it's ok to break up other families based on religion, or where they're from by supporting 45 and the travel ban. But the consequence of that is broken families...like yours...

so what's not good for you, is good for others? get fucked.

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Ok Larry I have to respond to this..regarding the travel ban.. Your illustrious messiah Obama did something very similar temporarily just like Trumps EO, yet the media kept their mouths shut and unless you knew about it or found out you never knew it happened. https://mic.com/articles/166845/the-...ion#.m5DEi6qz7

So let me guess your also for open borders letting any fuckwad into th is country that can sneak in.. Fuck even the Mexicans don't allow that shit (ask Marty he will tell you that you cant just plop your ass in Mexico randomly without certain requirements being met).

I saw Patriots day a couple days ago and two things were proven to me.. Obama was playing politics constantly afraid of offending Muslims despite hard proof that the brothers were radicalized. The older one who was killed in the shoot out in Watertown was on a fucking watch list and got in anyway so temporarily locking down the borders isn't necessarily a bad thing. We need to fix the broken system and meanwhile letting folks in from countries with known terrorist issues.. (also going to say Patriots day fucked up my PTSD from 9/11 again had a shitty night due to night terrors coming back).

Sure not all Muslins are terrorists but also not all Germans were butching Nazi fuckers in WW2 that didn't stop Germany from murdering millions of Jews and others and setting off the worse death toll from combat in human history for a single combined conflict. Its estimated 10-15% of Muslims are Wahabist and radicalized.. Now doesn't seem like much but if you let in 10000 'refugees' many of whom are not women and children and more seem to be military aged males that's 1000-1500 possible terrorists.. That's unacceptable.. Not to mention its been proven in some cases radical terrorists have been working with drug cartels in Mexico which means the risk of those sneaking across the border is legit.. (was just last year they snagged 8 Middle Eastern males in the desert of Arizona with no ID and such so YES they are sneaking across our border and I don't think its to go clean houses or pick fruit)

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such a nicely worded post. . You think all the germans weren't nazis? you're right they weren't. but guess what buddy? if they weren't working for them one way, they were working for them another. Lots of germans turned over jews to the nazis to save themselves. If they didn't comply, they went to the gas chambers. pretty sick huh. I don't know what this proves, but it's what happened.

You use the word estimated. Estimates are not a real number. they're a guess. a hypothesis.

I use that word too. Like when I had to estimate how much time it took for THC to leave my system. it was an estimate, not a hard real number. Sometimes it was 10 days, sometimes it was 14. So estimated 10% of muslims are radicalized? Let me see some stats to back that up. Until then, that's a fucking estimate. so yeah. it could be 1% of muslims. it could be 50%. do we even know? No we don't. How can we know? there's over a billion muslims in the world. have we polled all of them to find out their views on Jihad? I don't think we have.

How can you trust any information coming from our government? really. have you not learned yet?

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Originally Posted by LarryLaffer

Don't mean to hijack, but I would like to respond to FTP:

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Originally Posted by ftpjesus

Ok Larry I have to respond to this..regarding the travel ban.. Your illustrious messiah Obama did something very similar temporarily just like Trumps EO, yet the media kept their mouths shut and unless you knew about it or found out you never knew it happened. https://mic.com/articles/166845/the-...ion#.m5DEi6qz7

So let me guess your also for open borders letting any fuckwad into th is country that can sneak in.. Fuck even the Mexicans don't allow that shit (ask Marty he will tell you that you cant just plop your ass in Mexico randomly without certain requirements being met).

I saw Patriots day a couple days ago and two things were proven to me.. Obama was playing politics constantly afraid of offending Muslims despite hard proof that the brothers were radicalized. The older one who was killed in the shoot out in Watertown was on a fucking watch list and got in anyway so temporarily locking down the borders isn't necessarily a bad thing. We need to fix the broken system and meanwhile letting folks in from countries with known terrorist issues.. (also going to say Patriots day fucked up my PTSD from 9/11 again had a shitty night due to night terrors coming back).

Sure not all Muslins are terrorists but also not all Germans were butching Nazi fuckers in WW2 that didn't stop Germany from murdering millions of Jews and others and setting off the worse death toll from combat in human history for a single combined conflict. Its estimated 10-15% of Muslims are Wahabist and radicalized.. Now doesn't seem like much but if you let in 10000 'refugees' many of whom are not women and children and more seem to be military aged males that's 1000-1500 possible terrorists.. That's unacceptable.. Not to mention its been proven in some cases radical terrorists have been working with drug cartels in Mexico which means the risk of those sneaking across the border is legit.. (was just last year they snagged 8 Middle Eastern males in the desert of Arizona with no ID and such so YES they are sneaking across our border and I don't think its to go clean houses or pick fruit)

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such a nicely worded post. . You think all the germans weren't nazis? you're right they weren't. but guess what buddy? if they weren't working for them one way, they were working for them another. Lots of germans turned over jews to the nazis to save themselves. If they didn't comply, they went to the gas chambers. pretty sick huh. I don't know what this proves, but it's what happened.

You use the word estimated. Estimates are not a real number. they're a guess. a hypothesis.

I use that word too. Like when I had to estimate how much time it took for THC to leave my system. it was an estimate, not a hard real number. Sometimes it was 10 days, sometimes it was 14. So estimated 10% of muslims are radicalized? Let me see some stats to back that up. Until then, that's a fucking estimate. so yeah. it could be 1% of muslims. it could be 50%. do we even know? No we don't. How can we know? there's over a billion muslims in the world. have we polled all of them to find out their views on Jihad? I don't think we have.

How can you trust any information coming from our government? really. have you not learned yet?

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JFC larry. You win the prize for fucking up a thread.



http://imgur.com/a/HsI40