What a scary fucking drug.
What a scary fucking drug.
Methadone, Heroin are opiates and fundamentally impossible to quit. You can quit coke and alcohol cold turkey, you cannot do that with an opiate. They are physical addictions and generally cannot be beat, whereas coke and booze are mental.Quote:
Originally Posted by big dick
All kidding aside, Willy has a life long battle ahead of him. Regrettably it will likely control his life long term and quite possibly kill him. This is the grim reality folks, and yes I am praying for Willy but the odds are against him. Facts are facts.
alcohol is much more dangerous to quit cold turkey. You won't die from quitting heroin cold turkey, you'll just wish you were dead.
please tell us more things that aren't true
So I have read most of this thread and here are my thoughts....
Unfortunately living where I do I have seen this situation with very close friends before, and people even closer than that. My best advice is to stop worrying about the fucking job because you are going to lose it anyway eventually. You can't hide a dope habit forever. It will progressively get worse, so just forget about that situation as an impediment. You need to put a plan in place and if impatient rehab is not an option methadone is probably the next best option. I have a very close friend who was banging so much heroin it was not funny, trying to kill himself. He finally somehow got on the methadone program, and it took a LONG time but he weened himself off eventually. (I think it was like a year, was down to 5mg at very end). You have to start thing long term here not for "right now". You can get another job worst comes to worst. Long term getting off the dope is the goal, because you will spiral downward fast if you don't start attacking it right this fucking minute.
If you stop worrying about the job, cold turkey sucks but if you can find a detox program that can make it easier. Life will be hell for a week, and I would recommend some "supervision" from family or someone close to you because I have seen a lot of people break before when it gets bad and cave to pressure. I don't know where you live but it is crazy that you can't get methadone easily. Heroin long passed epidemic levels pretty much everywhere, methadone should be available. They have clinics around here where people are lined up every morning to get it no problem.
Either way I hope you beat this shit and never touch an opiate again in your life. I have done every drug under the sun but that is one thing I would not touch under any circumstance. I won't even take pain pills from the dentist. Nothing, pretty much every pain pill is opiate based. It is just a trap if you are inclined to do drugs in any way shape or form. I have seen it take down people who I would have NEVER thought....but it did.
Anyway best of luck and I you can beat this shit. Get your mind right. Change your mentality to what it was before you stepped back in the pool (yes I know that is hard when that shit is running thru your body) but just do it. You did it before and you can do it again. Godspeed.
There was a guy I knew who OD'd on Methadone when he kept turning up high to meet his long term gf. She warned him repeatedly and eventually left him. He took 125mg I think it was, and she found him lying unconscious.Quote:
Originally Posted by BCRI50mg isn't too high because he's been using for awhile now, and he knows where he stabalizes, but if they gave it to a clean person it would kill them dead in short order.Quote:
Originally Posted by handicapme
This is why he's kind of stuck. A clinic will take you up to 50mg and beyond, but they can't just take your word for it. They start a person on like 3mg daily and slowly titrate them up at a rate they are comfortable dispensing until a person stabalizes. To get to 50 is probably a month or two during which people have to use while increasing or they'll simply be sick still. Once they reach a stable dose it's fine, but the run up for the first weeks for someone using is essentially worthless. You're still going to need to use heroin in addition to methadone.
That's why the only play that made sense was falling on the mercy of a doctor who he already had a relationship with, because that guy is taking a huge gamble to take your word for it. He needs to trust you're not suicidal, or working him and simply going to sell them and continue to use, etc.
Methadone is super dangerous to a person who isn't already prescreened opiate tolerant by their own addiction. It's unlike oxy's and other heavy duty narcotics because those are generally out of your bloodstream when they quit working. Methadone is still in your system long after you've quit feeling it's effects. It scares the shit out of doctors and kills a ton of recreational users because they take a pill, it wears off, so they take another not understanding that there is a compounding effect because the previous dose is still in your system. So doctors err on the super conservative side when starting someone out. Methadone is actually a fantastic pain medication for chronic pain suffererers without addiction issues, because once they find the sweet spot, it works for years without needing to be raised, but it's so dangerous at the start that most pain manageent doctors are too afraid to use it for liability reasons. It's only generally used when someone with chronic pain has ridden the conventional Oxy train up so high that they really can't go any further. At that point, the doctor knows the patient has a huge opiate tolerance already and can go from 4 80mg oxy's to 40mg of methadone and a patient might be fine on that same level for years because of the way methadone stays in the system. For Willie though, it's also why he hesitated to come off that last 10. Kicking methadone is a much longer process than kicking heroin because of how it stays in system. So the same thing that makes it work so well works against you when coming off.
Had he been in a clinic, he likely would have kicked, because in liquid form they can go from 10 to 9 to 8 because it's auto filled with a calibrated machine, but he was on a script for pills from a doctor, and there aren't 10mg pills, then 9mg pills, etc. it's probably a 10 to a 5, and that drop is brutal, which is why he likely lingered and it came back to bite him in the ass when he fucked up and found himself without.
*i dont know why my autocorrect wants to correct stabilizes to the incorrect spelling, but I'm not going back to fix all of that shit*
Long story short he had to be amputated multiple times, had all sorts of organ collapse, and lived for like a year as a complete vegetable before finally dying.
Willie my man, I don't know you at all, but sort your shit out asap for once and for all- YOU CAN DO IT!!! And once you do imagine how proud you can be to prove that you survived it not once but twice, and bettered it.
Much love and strength from Ireland.
http://i.imgur.com/g7wJ4RV.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by NaturalBornHustler
he doesn't enforce the rule at all tho, no? not a double standard. lack of a standard, really.Quote:
Originally Posted by Muck Ficon
Not to get off topic, but I let bottomset create a ton of accounts here because:
1) He never uses more than one at a time. He abandons one, and moves to the next.
2) It's kind of always been his gimmick, so I don't want to ruin it, and I think it becomes clear very quickly who he is anyway.
I try not to be a hard-ass about rules unless someone is really causing harm here.
when you bitchardly herberts start to contribute on the scale that bottomset does to raising the artistic bar for communication here, then.. THEN you can talk about 'standards'.
Currently Druff is addicted to pain pills. New thread by him will be forthcoming.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pooh
He was taking them daily but not addicted....right, his son's mom on her way out?
It's a great medication, but people are scaryQuote:
Originally Posted by big dick
It only should come into your life if you're a heroin addict, or in chronic crippling pain, and it's fantastic and preferrable to either of those two things, but yeah, scary if you use it when you don't really need it or are stupid
It's like many things, whether it be chemotherapy or amputation. You'd rather not, but if you must, the other shit is even worse
Requesting a complete list so I can make a Coke bottle wall of them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Druff
That makes sense.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Druff
:noose
Best of luck in your recovery. As long as nothing else major comes to light, the financial part can be dealt with post recovery given the lender's generous willingness to allow for this. It's hard to see how trolling the debtor or lender is productive or even enjoyable. It's not like this is a Jasep situation here.
I warned about this back in July and a number of veteran users shit all over my suggesting this!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Pooh
http://pokerfraudalert.com/forum/sho...l=1#post458208
Quote:
Is Druff's pronunciation of certain words on the radio show a cause for concern?
Has anyone else noticed that Druff's pronunciation of certain words on the radio show are off a bit? Here are some examples that come to mind, with how he has said these words during the show, followed by standard pronunciation.
Successor: "SUH-SESS-er" (should be "SUK-SESS-or")
Sovereign: "SUH-ver-en" (should be "SAH-ver-en")
Recognize: "RECK-a-nize" (should be "RECK-uhg-nize")
Which has me wondering: Could this be the Vicodin talking? And is an intervention in order?
looks like it got scott weiland
rip
Update:
Got my doc to up my script to 50mg which was the first hurdle. The next hurdle was actually getting that script filled. Could only find a CVS a half hour away with enough 5mg pills to fill my script. Dropped it off and half hour later get a call telling me they will have to contact my doctor first thing in the morning to verify the script since I jumped from 10mg to 50mg/day. They also questioned why a psychiatrist would be writing a script for methadone as it's "outside their scope of practice".
Was going to wait for them to call my doc in the morning to confirm the script was legit but had second thoughts as he really isn't supposed to prescribe methadone for the purposes of maintenance outside of a methadone clinic and I didn't want that to be an issue. So I went back and picked up my script and called my doc the next day and had him change the script to 10mg pills and went to a Walgreens and had it filled no questions asked.
HUGE RELIEF
I no longer need to borrow money to make sure I'm not sick and can show up for my job. Whether I get high or not is entirely up to me now that I have enough methadone to keep me from being dope sick. I'm pretty lucky my doc is a friend of my cousin (who is an ear, nose, & throat doctor), because otherwise my only option would be to wake up early everyday and stand in line with a bunch of junkies at a clinic. And it costs me just $15 a month for a script that would sell for $750-$1000 on the street.
Besides not having to worry about being dope sick on a daily basis, I'm saving thousands a month from not having to buy dope. What really made me fed up was thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas. My world revolved around "not being dope sick", and it just made me feel like shit knowing how those days went would be directly related to whether I'd be sick or not. It's just a shitty way to live.
Anyway, it sucks having to take a step back after being on such a minimal amount of methadone for so many years but I wouldn't be long for this world without it. A few weeks ago I woke up GASPING FOR AIR after a night of getting high and drinking (which is a HUGE no-no). I was struggling for air like Kimbo Slice had just taken a free shot at my chest and then held my head under water. And that's how most people die...your body just forgets to breathe.
It's a start, gl. At least you can enjoy your holidays now + save 2k or so a month
Bump to see how it's going good or bad. Good to see you posting your usual shit.
Looking for this thread, I quickly skimmed the first & last post.
Quote:
I started to feel less pride in how I played and more regretted not doing more with my "one shot". I would beat myself up daily, if not hourly, knowing I would probably never find myself in a spot like that again.
Stop beating yourself up kid. So many people live safe, dull, lives. Gimme the guys with a story. Guys who took some shots (little heroin humor).Quote:
Anyway, it sucks having to take a step back after being on such a minimal amount of methadone for so many years ....
I bet I have lost more money than you. I have done stupid things that made me go busto. I have been bounced out by the old lady. Fired from jobs.
I was never afraid to take shots. It all worked out. I learned a lot about women, risk, money, professional relationships. (Common theme... I didn't value any of them properly when young)
Yeah, you coulda done better. You will next time.
One of the things I realized recently as I got older is I just don't give a fuck. I feel absolutely zero embarrassment about all that. They are just memories. I never hurt anybody but myself. I can take it. It's how you run & finish the race.
Beating yourself up doesn't earn you any prize. Penance is bullshit.
Laughing about (and learning from) your fuck ups and moving on - people love that shit.
Guarantee you will be telling people these stories years from now in real life.
Cheap Scotch makes me philosophical & maybe nonsensical. We'll see in the morning.
Just my attempt at cheering you on.