this is global poker in a nutshell

Guys guys guys..

Your getting off the point.

Being a daily global grinder is a prestigious club of it's own.

It's just not about getting better at poker , ITS ABOUT OUTTHINKING THE ALGORITHM, LOL..

ITS A GLOBAL THING!!

Its comical, I actually do play global for only entertainment purposes now.(kinda)

Seeing the crazy cards play out is a hoot, it's too the point were u just lost money and can't help laughing hysterically at the screen or manicly..

It's like they keep on coming up with new ways to impossibly beat you. ITS A HOOT!!!

carry on, mulva..

1st game today.

damn...i time out with AA

obv would have lost with them

happens every game.....this is approaching the bubble

no need to disprove anything i post.

all you have to do is play there



same game....i made the final table..miracle you can even get there considering how they frikken treat you here

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mulva

happens every game.....this is approaching the bubble

no need to disprove anything i post.

all you have to do is play there



same game....i made the final table..miracle you can even get there considering how they frikken treat you here

---

This is a good one..

FUCKING HILLARIOUS..

It's hand after hand after hand...

All u have too be at global is competentt and let the algorithm do the rest.
Who knows?!?! It might be your turn today.

Every once in a while I think about online poker.

Then Mulva posts and I’m cured.

I do enjoy this thread in a perverse way.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sanlmar

Every once in a while I think about online poker.

Then Mulva posts and I’m cured

---

Sanlamar,

Are there by any way, normal hands?

Have u seen shit like this before?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thesparten

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sanlmar

Every once in a while I think about online poker.

Then Mulva posts and I’m cured

---

Sanlamar,

Are there by any way, normal hands?

Have u seen shit like this before?

---

Mulva is a funny guy and you’d think he was selective in his hand histories to make his case. However, the volume of nutty hands is pretty impressive

So to answer your question, NO that shit was never my experience

BTW I have the distinction of colluding with Sparten online. If I am besmirching your saintly reputation Sparten, I apologize.

My conscience is just fine

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sanlmar

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thesparten

Sanlamar,

Are there by any way, normal hands?

Have u seen shit like this before?

---

Mulva is a funny guy and you’d think he was selective in his hand histories to make his case. However, the volume of nutty hands is pretty impressive

So to answer your question, NO that shit was never my experience

BTW I have the distinction of colluding with Sparten online. If I am besmirching your saintly reputation Sparten, I apologize.

My conscience is just fine

---

i do not play that much at global. sometimes on weekends i play 3 or games but during the week i'm lucky to get 1 or 2 games in daily.

so that really makes these frequent results even more alarming because they're taken from a a small subset of games.

i mean,..i don't post every game i've run deep or every single beat. like i said..small mid pp @ showdown will not win @ 55% vs 2 paint..and most of the time they shit all over any pocket pair.....

i'm going to go so far and say throw your odds calculator away at global poker. it doesn't matter..

i'm fighting this rig...my graph looks like an ekg of a parkinsons patient.....not that it matters but i recently had 2 chances to bink a few that i didn't post and lost both while getting it in good and lost both HU.

place is a disgrace

i guess i was unlucky today. they even throw up runner runner str8

this is actually an honest way to lose. too bad it comes on the cusp of losing with all the other redick ways before it





and yesterday i shove a limper all in. this brainiac even went in the tank because it was a difficult decision for him. obv his hand isn't good enough to raise with, but plenty good enough to call all in...but hey..i didn't lose with AA or KK..same player also called my 44 alln to end me when he had AQ and i was short..





oh..forgot this one...

have to shove frop with str8 and frush draws



he mikey'd me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTX1WXtx1Tg

1 last game today.

i obv 3 bet to 160 @ the 10/20 level

not enough to get J8s out.

obv i lost and he hit on turn...lovely how they conveniently throw the A up on the river as well

obv again wit a big pp





rebuy and several hands later.

same player IKTOMI52 calling my all n

standard.

global either runs you down or sets you up

lets get it started again...

i time out wit AJ and look wut grobul does.

only way i don't go busto here is if i crush the pot . if i bet 3x i get a call. if i bet 5x i still get a call fro the 58s bb donkey

anyway you slice it i was the predetermined loser

Everyhand is a fucken set up...

I think I'm going to deposit $100 a play some rounds tonight.

It is so addicting, I mean for entertainment purposes like wrestling.

If anything it is fun but seriously any poker site with an authentic rng and totally caters too recs will rock.

The rec friendly environment is the way if the future. The days of catering to 3rd party hud useing nit grinders and proactivly rewarding them for that style of play, ARE OVER.

JUST reward the recs, the rest will follow.

obv chop if i stay the course...and obv a big pp gets wrecked...nice of them to throw up the frush as well

you really have to pay attention to the hands you're not in and others are in as well.

it just makes the whole thing even more ridiculous and more evident

really beginning to think that you're either a winner or loser at global poker and odds mean nothing

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thesparten

Everyhand is a fucken set up...

I think I'm going to deposit $100 a play some rounds tonight.

It is so addicting, I mean for entertainment purposes like wrestling.

If anything it is fun but seriously any poker site with an authentic rng and totally caters too recs will rock.

The rec friendly environment is the way if the future. The days of catering to 3rd party hud useing nit grinders and proactivly rewarding them for that style of play, ARE OVER.

JUST reward the recs, the rest will follow.

---

globals new slogan should be.

"we're either running you down, or setting you up"

it really applies


look at this poor sap. flop a str8....pick up str8 frush draw on turn but lose to runner runner boat.

i share that love boat if i stay in, in the bb..but i knew i was outkicked and folded after frop





another one for the hall of shame

another heartbreaking defeat at the final table with KK

i guess since i was coolerd by AA it's suppose to be better than getting sucked out on.

i played so well in this thing making big lay downs on the FT as well

sad part about this is it's a higher buy in and the payoffs are better. not to mention the jackass wit 1500 chips isn't even there and wins hands

it really is a miracle if you can go unscathed with AA or KK for the duration of the mtt's i play in.

i get bet out.

yup...stay the course and take down those pp..i can't call the shove wit AT unless i channel my inner donkey and stay in the hand.

all you have to do is stay in the hand. i really think winner/loser thing and 50% either way





and another...i had shit and didn't figure into this hand, but they wreck another big pp in typical grobul polka fashion





....

gay fucking sftware..have so many bbeats i can't even distinguish them all. and if i delete file it will delete original file and original post in addition to my mistake..so u have to see duplicate below.... wtg vBulletin

back to donating..

on the bubble......for top 3 in chips..................the place just punishes you

lol @ taking this shit hole seriously

i guess i just got unlucky





random hands to show more examples

all you have to do is keep calling




take and take and take





i guess i should thank grobul for chopping and not losing with a dominating hand.

nothing dominates when u have miracle on 45th st every other showdown





i had 55 and folded on flop.

not these to wizards though......bend over cowboys...brokeback poker is coming 4 you





go the distance...the 1 live under card rig is very underrated at grobul



mother fucking field of dreams



late position shove in un raised and un entered pot..bb still calls 4k





last game of the night..ending like the 1st one

for top 3 in chips once again..on the bubble

yeah..i got unlucky again....




i survive on scraps and gr8 play. make it to final table after the beating above....

only to get fucked once again.

DOJ....take this place down

At least they increased the gtd on the tournament,s across the board (kinda)

Now if I can find a tournament that has something longer then doubling up the blinds every 3 minute with 2kstaring chips.

I only play a couple of the tournament,s that are "closer" to normal.

I refuse too support the hyper hyper Uber hyper totally ibet hyper turbos short stacks they run all the time.

U gotta wait and plan.out the good ones.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thesparten

At least they increased the gtd on the tournament,s across the board (kinda)

Now if I can find a tournament that has something longer then doubling up the blinds every 3 minute with 2kstaring chips.

I only play a couple of the tournament,s that are "closer" to normal.

I refuse too support the hyper hyper Uber hyper totally ibet hyper turbos short stacks they run all the time.

U gotta wait and plan.out the good ones.

---

closer to normal is 10 minute levels....i don't even consider anything less....lol

thing is, the higher the buy in the better the players, and while you usually won't suffer the kind of beats that i post as often, it' harder to go deeper, as they're less likely to stack off with goofball hands. i really have the 3+1+1 by in down to a science. this tourney requires you to do stupid shit in order to advance further,,and stuff u really can't do in normal higher buy ins with better players.

but you still have to beat the ridiculous machine, which is impossible.

2 games.

both cashes. 1st i finish 10th and bust in a set up hand involving the button and blinds. sadly,..if i play with kid gloves i would not of exited. (but his kind of setup just doesn't happen enough for me to stop playing like i do vs soft players)

situation is this 5 handed.....jackass limps on button with 99...short stack, sb calls with AQ and obv i shove with ATs.

both call

flop comes KQ5..then 8 and then 2.

out n tenth..

second game i overcome this bs which gives me a top 3 stack early on if i won ...i fight back and make it to FT not losing with AA or KK





then i lose like this 5 handed. obv pp gets cracked. full table, 6 handed, 5 handed, it doesn't matter. global poker rapes your pocket pairs.

There is a disconnect going on in this thread. You're either the biggest dupe sado masochist fool on earth or you still have mommies money drawing in. No one else comes back for regular beatings and brags about it. Maybe just really dumb

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by limitles

There is a disconnect going on in this thread. You're either the biggest dupe sado masochist fool on earth or you still have mommies money drawing in. No one else comes back for regular beatings and brags about it. Maybe just really dumb

---

insert nick cage pushing shopping cart in liquor store gif here

With out commenting on your poker play , as I admit , you are much better than me even though Ive
managed to squeeze out a better profit than you on global ... i know i know , its a set up ... ... i dont
understand how you routinely bust in the very early levels , 10/20 - 30/60 .. .. but what do i know ?


My heads up offer still stands when you pull together 100 bucks to play heads up ( a little surprised you declined since you are so much better than me ) I think I deserve a rematch from the PFA spring tourney since you threw thatin my face .

Druff has my money and I am ready to donate ... Best of 3 , 5 , 7 ..whatever .

:)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mulva

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thesparten

At least they increased the gtd on the tournament,s across the board (kinda)

Now if I can find a tournament that has something longer then doubling up the blinds every 3 minute with 2kstaring chips.

I only play a couple of the tournament,s that are "closer" to normal.

I refuse too support the hyper hyper Uber hyper totally ibet hyper turbos short stacks they run all the time.

U gotta wait and plan.out the good ones.

---

closer to normal is 10 minute levels....i don't even consider anything less....lol

thing is, the higher the buy in the better the players, and while you usually won't suffer the kind of beats that i post as often, it' harder to go deeper, as they're less likely to stack off with goofball hands. i really have the 3+1+1 by in down to a science. this tourney requires you to do stupid shit in order to advance further,,and stuff u really can't do in normal higher buy ins with better players.

but you still have to beat the ridiculous machine, which is impossible.

---

ABSOLUTELY!!

I only play(support) the 10 minute blinds tournament,s but u go-to look for them.

Preferably no reentry or add on but I'll take ant 10min tournament.

I kinda have PTSD from acr with those reentries, everyone just banging bullets is anoying especially when 4,7 off is a favorite?!!!

But nonetheless will play any 10min tournament and just keep my head down for a while untill the it passes or I have a big +ev..

But then again, all those fucken quads squashing my full house and the like.

But it is entertaining in a wierd way..

I keep on seeing advertising for global around here and have yet to see any jersey online advertising for poker??

Never understood why the jersey sites NEVER advertise anywhere on any platform.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by limitles

There is a disconnect going on in this thread. You're either the biggest dupe sado masochist fool on earth or you still have mommies money drawing in. No one else comes back for regular beatings and brags about it. Maybe just really dumb

---

Maybe he doesn't have a job shoveling hay or too busy being poor with no opportunity but wants the rest of us to pay for all of Mexico,s pre natal care and worry about there upward mobility and if there kinds can go to university for free too..

Keep on shoveling and dreaming about dental care and March for higher minum wage for the only store that hires in your town.

In the Bronx the illigals have 3 dentistas and 2 pharmacias and a clinic on every fucken block and pearly whites for teeth.
U people are sooo lost.

all hands taken from 1 game.

it was a doozy.

before the break AA QQ JJ TT 88 and 77 all got cracked. aces (3x), tens and 88 twice.

i kid you not.

then i ran into 2 hands just before break.

i guess i got unlucky again




and again




i add on after having a top 5 stack gutted from the above hands. to sit around 5k

2nd hand back from the break......obv loser as KK was the only pp yet to be cracked

if you had to trust the global poker machine and what they do with a 5 card spread as an analogous life or death situation on giving you a fair chance, would you even consider using them as a vehicle to do so?

the answer everyone would say is no...all people would say is that i don't trust them in that matter...

but that won't stop most from pumping in their money and using it for poker, as it's not a life or death situation, it's only a rape crisis that we pay money for

think about it

As a segment for the next show, druff should play global on air and we can ALL hear the amazing situations that global rng will put druff in.

It will he hilarious when druff keeps on getting beat hilarious unbelievable hand after hand.

you really are an idiot sparten

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thesparten

As a segment for the next show, druff should play global on air and we can ALL hear the amazing situations that global rng will put druff in.

It will he hilarious when druff keeps on getting beat hilarious unbelievable hand after hand.

---

Ugh!!
This is still a poker site, right??? And the show has the eccense of online pokerr playing, right??

And im sorry you all can't suck my dik at the same time, just take turns.

https://youtu.be/ZlUIf4IXSAc

awesome day.

earlier..it was just as worse. if not more so

didn't even rebuy in game 1 as the disgust level from the previous day carried over.

game 1




and game two they stick it to me in more unreal fashion some more times




you can't even flop str8's and live to tell about it. the great equalizer is hitting the call button behind

last game of night..make FT

3 handed..epic comeback time................will it hold...nope

thought it might of had a chance being that i didn't have KK

have to get caught up

go pp.



look at this poor sap...yeah..i won this hand

pp are awesome



lets not forget the obligatory loss with AA or KK in almost every mtt you play at global




no cashes in these 2 games

another day. two more games. both were cashes and 1 FT where i couldn't get a mid pp home vs two overs shorthanded on the final table.

if anybody tells you that low/mid pp hold they're lying. you also have to pray with your big pp.

amazing i cashed both times as these were hands i had to overcome. first game was min cash, 2nd game was FT. i just remember the pitch fork in my ass




same game




again..same game




2nd game

notice the big pp taken down...notice runner runner




another crucial hand deep where a pp won't hold




went out shoving on ft short handed. obv it doesn't hold

if somebody can tell me the significance of why i posted this hand you will receive a pat on the back and 2 thumbs up from me.

yeah,..i guess this was just more variance

unreal as it is funny. yeah...we line up and put money in this machine


1 minute ago




5 minutes later.

lol

this place is criminal.




runner runner is a big part of grobul's programming. not even close to record number of times




i 3 bet all ain prefrop. get insta called





because i haven't been raped enough tonight.

2 games.

1st one out in 13th...anutta shitty min cash

look at this knob. calling his entire stack wit KTs preflop




2nd game....classic grobul polka.

villain call with open ender, and bam..hit runner runner trips to win...random rake generator is a money maker, baby...the gold standard for owner profits for the site

all you do is shake ur head playing here.....fortune favors the bold




same game and getting close to bubble......bend over....nice to see ace on river. as well....not to mention them throwing up the flush as well.....remember kids....keep hitn call button at grobul..