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Thread: HOF: Man Busted Selling “Energy Drinks” Containing Meth.

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    HOF: Man Busted Selling “Energy Drinks” Containing Meth.

    This is perhaps the greatest article I have ever read. It has everything I could ever want in journalism all rolled into one.


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    http://stuppid.com/meth-energy-drinks/

    BTW yes this could be a level...but the jury is still out. I saw this posted in several places though. I really want this to be true though

    Boone County resident, Jasper June, 72, was arrested today on felony charges of manufacturing and distributing homemade “energy drinks” containing the powerful stimulate methamphetamine.

    The Boone County drug task force raided June’s tree fort (June lives in 200 sq. ft. tree fort on his brother’s property) to find Jasper wearing only an adult diaper and reading an Arabic pornographic magazine.

    Police seized approximately 25 2 liter bottles of June’s “energy drink” found in a cinder block pump house on the property. The bottles tested positive for methamphetamine.

    June came under suspicion when he sold four bottles to several high school girls who hours later were checked into a hospital with internal bleeding. The children’s parents phoned authorities.

    A police report contained several statements from June:

    “They’re just energy drinks like Rockstar or Monster. It’s not meth in there. It’s just lemonade, caffeine, sugar and a couple drops of gasoline. I swear to God I didn’t put meth in there.”

    Customers would come to June’s home to buy the energy drinks for $20 per bottle. One customer spoke on the condition of anonymity:

    “I’m shocked Jasper put crank in his energy drinks. I didn’t know nothing about that. I just knew they worked good to keep me awake for a couple days. Stuff way better than Monster [energy drink].”

    Hours after June’s first statement, he confessed:

    “Okay, I put just a little meth in there to get them addicted and keep customers coming back. I know they’ll all testify against me so let me make something else clear: I pissed in every bottle.”

    June also faces child endangerment charges for ‘poisoning’ the girls who drank his homemade concoction

     
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      Wiganer: HOF
      
      4Dragons: story of the year
      
      SrslySirius: I have no words
      
      Kuntmissioner: stuppid indeed
    Last edited by Gordman; 03-10-2015 at 12:29 PM.

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    Platinum herbertstemple's Avatar
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    What a story.

    Arabic porn? Maybe there's hope for them after all.

    Have heard adding kerosene to moonshine or maybe bathtub gin. Don't know what it does, but why the hell would he add gasoline?
    Save a Cow - Eat a Vegetarian, they're grass-fed.

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    Photoballer 4Dragons's Avatar
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    'couple of drops of gasoline'

    Phenomenal!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gordman View Post
    “Okay, I put just a little meth in there to get them addicted and keep customers coming back. I know they’ll all testify against me so let me make something else clear: I pissed in every bottle.”

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    NoFraud Poker Room Manager Belly Buster's Avatar
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    I mean I'd like to believe, but .....

    http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2012/0...er-of-teacher/

     
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      ThreeBet: :facepalm to rest of thread participants
      
      Gordman: well.......................shit
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    BTW JACKDANIELS is the first one banned from the thread. He is accusing me of being "duped by a middle aged man who dresses like John Cena"
    #FREEJACK #NEVERFORGET

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    Photoballer 4Dragons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Belly Buster View Post
    I mean I'd like to believe, but .....

    http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2012/0...er-of-teacher/
    Of course his name is Delbert.

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    Bronze pagelpoker's Avatar
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    One thing is clear.. the piss is what kept them coming back

     
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      Gordman: addicting

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    Quote Originally Posted by Belly Buster View Post
    I mean I'd like to believe, but .....

    http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2012/0...er-of-teacher/



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    I absolutely refuse to believe that this could possibly be fake. This is absolutely too good for that... don't ruin this moment for me!

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    Diamond PLOL's Avatar
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    It's a satirical website, stuppid.
    TRUMP 2024!

    Quote Originally Posted by verminaard View Post
    Just non-stop unrelenting LGBT propaganda being shoved down our throats.

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    Good ol' WV

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    LOL if u believed that. Arabic porn? Tree fort?

    SFO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PLOL View Post
    It's a satirical website, stuppid.

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    to be fair gordman also had no clue the fuck her right in the pussy guy was a hoax...

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    Platinum Jayjami's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gordman View Post
    The Boone County drug task force raided June’s tree fort (June lives in 200 sq. ft. tree fort on his brother’s property) to find Jasper wearing only an adult diaper and reading an Arabic pornographic magazine.
    This might be the strangest sentence in the history of the English language. I had to read it 3 times to fully comprehend the horror. I might be permanently damaged if this imagery continues to linger in my mind.

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    Shut it down Rollo
    Quote Originally Posted by abrown83
    I'm going to come across as a bit of a douche but I really know more about this then anyone on this board by miles.

    ...if Trump is nominee he wins Presidency easily. Angry Blue Collar Whites will have record turnout.

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