So I was bored at around 11pm and decided to walk to a bar and shoot some pool and have a few drinks. I was mildly loaded but very aware of my surroundings. I had about two Vodkas and three glasses of wine over a two hour period. Nothing major but definitely buzzed.

So I am sitting at the bar awaiting a table to come open and I overhear this intoxicated guy trying to pick up on what appears, and later confirmed, a lesbian. He is trying to buy and she obviously is not selling so he starts to get really disrespectful, the words dyke and carpet muncher gets thrown around. I am trying to mind my business but eventually the good citizen card has to be played.

So I stand up and ask the guy politely in my mind, to shut the fuck up, she is not interested. She grabs my arm, not in a sexual way obviously but more protection mode. So the bartender, who was a really big woman goes gymnastics over the bar and diffuse what was going to get volatile. I am somewhat relieved because I would have completely dominated this individual as he was like 5-9 and 200 lbs and completely out of shape. If he were 5-9 and with veins popping out of his arms I would have been concerned he might have had karate or judo skills, but that was not the case.

So issue diffused. Until an hour later I walk out of the bathroom and this guy approaches me as if I have a problem. Mind you I am at the juke box playing some tunes. Now I am definitely buzzed, but he is wasted. I mean fucking loaded with sideway eyes.

He starts asking why the fuck I am in his business and is spraying all over my face he is so drunk. I am about 2 seconds away from uncorking a blow to his head, which given my adrenaline would probably have been fatal. But in a stroke of luck the large woman bartender saw what was going to happen and intervened. The owner came out of the back and kicked him out of the bar and wanted to kick me out as well. But the bartender explained everything and I was allowed to stay. We all witnessed shitfaced guy hop into his late model truck (lol) and drive off. For a brief moment I almost called 911 and alerted the cops a DUIer was on the streets, it would have been easy to find him at 1:30 since the roads were sparsely driven. But I decided to give him a pass.