In the semi-classic movie "Coming to America", Eddie Murphy plays a wealthy prince who moves to New York and pretends to be a broke immigrant, finally experiencing the life of a commoner.
The television show "Undercover Boss" features CEOs taking positions as low-level workers in their own corporations, experiencing the conditions they created themselves for the blue-collar employees working under them.
Television and film is full of these stories -- someone with a protected, high status experiencing what it's like to be an everyman, and the whole thing becoming an eye-opening experience.
Las Vegas casinos are a bit different. Generally, your status is not determined by your wealth, job, or position in society. Rather, it is determined by how much you gamble at their property. If you're a big gambler, you are given a high status and generally treated like gold (at least until you stop gambling there), and if you hardly play, you are the low man on the totem pole. This is the way Vegas has worked since gambling was introduced there many decades ago, and is obviously nothing new to most of you.
I have a high status at both Caesar's (Seven Stars) and Cosmopolitan (Platinum -- their highest card). That's where I have influence, and that's where I am generally treated well. Of course, my Caesar's status extends to all properties they own, while Cosmopolitan is independent. However, at places like Bellagio, Mirage, Aria, Wynn, and everywhere else, I don't expect any sort of preferential treatment. I hardly play at those places, and that makes me a nobody when I set foot on those properties. I accept that as part of the way Vegas works, and I'm not complaining about it.
All of my Vegas hotel stays in the recent past have been at Caesar's properties and the Cosmo. This is because I get my rooms for free, and also get various forms of food credits and preferential treatment. For example, when I check into the Cosmo, I not only get a free room, but I am almost always upgraded to what is considered their "1 bedroom suite" with a view of the Bellagio fountains.
A lot of my family got together in Las Vegas last week for a special occasion. I was alone during my two WSOP events, but immediately following, my girlfriend and Benjamin arrived. On that night, I moved to the Cosmopolitan, simply because my girlfriend always wanted to stay there, but never got a chance.
At the Cosmopolitan check-in, there are three areas:
- A main check-in area, which is for all guests and typically has a line
- A private check-in room simply labeled "Platinum"
- A private check-in room labeled "VIP"
I could use any of these three. The VIP area is for any invited guests staying on a comp offer, and while no one ever told me what the "Platinum" room was for, it seemed obvious that it was for Cosmo Platinum members, of which I was one.
I opted for the Platinum room, because it was the closest one, and obviously the service would be good there, given that it's a room dedicated to only their Platinum members.
What followed was a surreal experience.
As the guy at the desk was checking me in, I requested a rollaway bed (for Benjamin). He matter-of-factly told me, "That will be $50 per night for a rollaway bed. Would you perhaps like two queens instead?"
"I'm too tall to comfortably sleep in a queen with another person," I told him. "I'm a Platinum member here. You seriously can't give me a rollaway bed for a little kid without charging me $50?"
"I'm sorry, that's a standard charge, and we don't waive it for anyone," he replied.
I continued to debate it with him, and he finally sighed and said, "I'll go ask my manager about this."
He came back after a few minutes and told me that the manager agreed to waive the charge for the bed "because it's for a young child".
Seemed reasonable. I guess I could understand why they didn't want 3 adults squeezing into a room in order to save money, so they instituted that charge. Once they realized it was just for a 2-year-old, they waived it. For the moment, I felt okay.
He was processing the check-in when I asked, "Oh, wait. This room has a view of the Bellagio fountains, right?"
Keep in mind that it is extremely standard for Cosmopolitan Platinum members to not just get an automatic (and free) upgrade to a room with a view, but actually the next category up (1-bedroom suite) with a view. I was willing to accept no upgrade (as that's not guaranteed, but only based upon availability), but I really wanted that view because Ben loves the Bellagio water show.
The front desk guy snottily told me, "No, a view costs extra. That will be another $95."
I tried to explain to him that I always get the view, that it's a standard benefit for Platinum members, and that I'm mainly doing it for my young son. He looked really annoyed and went into a room to talk to his manager again.
Ten minutes passed and I was still waiting for him to return. Benjamin was getting impatient and cranky.
He finally came back out.
"Sorry, I just spent the last 10 minutes going over this with my manager. We checked every single area of the property for available rooms. There are simply no king bed rooms available that face the Bellagio. So you need to choose between 2 queens with a view, or a king without the view."
"Not a single king bed facing Bellagio at 5pm on a Wednesday?", I asked him. "That doesn't seem likely. Are you sure you checked everything? I'll even take a dirty room and you can send the maid up to clean it as soon as I check in."
"Sir, we sat there looking up and down at the entire property. That's why I was gone so long. Not a single king bed is available right now with a Bellagio view. So you need to choose -- 2 queens with the view or the king bed without the view? Or you can upgrade to a 1-bedroom suite for $195."
"But I always get the 1-bedroom suite automatically without paying for an upgrade," I explained.
"No, that's not how it works. It's $195. Let me know what you want to do."
Wanting Ben to have the view, I decided to take the 2 queens.
On the way up, I told my girlfriend that I thought the guy was lying to me. I figured that he (and perhaps his manager) took a dislike to me after not wanting to pay $50 for the rollaway, and decided not to do anything more for me after that point. I wondered aloud why this time was so difficult, while all of my other Cosmo experiences were great and trouble-free at check-in. "Usually I just go to the desk, they give me a 1-bedroom suite with a great view, and I don't even have to ask for it. This is true even on busy nights. I can't imagine why they are acting this way tonight, especially on a Wednesday."
We got to our room and there was an Indian couple standing in front of the door.
"Oh good," said the woman. "Our luggage is in your room!"
I asked how their luggage got in our room.
"We noticed this room was two queen beds. We went down and asked for a king bed with the same view instead, and they just gave it to us! So now we just have to get our luggage, and our old keys didn't work, so we're glad you're here!"
I let them in to get their luggage, but I wondered, "Did they really just get the last king bed? Or was that snotty guy at the Platinum front desk lying to me?"
Obviously the latter was far more likely.
In addition, their "standard" room was far inferior to the 1-bedroom suite. I had never been in one before, but there was no comparison. I thought back to how sonatine once said that the Cosmo rooms were "nothing special" and I disagreed. Now I knew what he was talking about.
I picked up my cell phone and dialed the main Cosmopolitan reservations number.
"Yes, hi.. I would like a room for tonight. I would like a king bed facing the Bellagio fountains."
"Certainly, sir," said the friendly voice on the phone. "That will be $219. Would you like to book now?"
I verified that indeed she knew I was talking about tonight, and that I wanted a king bed facing the fountains. "Yes," she said. "We have that available. Would you like to book it?"
I told her I'd think about it and call back. I now had my proof. The guy at the Platinum front desk was lying to me.
But it was worse than just lying. His story about "searching for rooms" for 10 minutes in the back was obviously false, which meant that he just took a break and left me standing there. He did this despite the fact that we had a restless 2-year-old with us. I was livid.
I called up the front desk and complained about this. A nice person on the phone admitted that there were "plenty of king rooms available", and moved us to one. We moved, but something still wasn't sitting right with me.
I was pissed. Why should we have had to go through this hassle in the first place? Why couldn't this asshole just have been honest about the availability in the first place, and given us the king bed with the view? Why did I have to play detective to catch them in a lie, and then get to move only once I could prove they weren't telling me the truth?
Yes, I know that hotels love to tell guests things "aren't available" in order to quiet free-upgrade-obsessed guests, but why the 10-minute fake "search" for rooms while an impatient 2-year-old waits in the lobby? If he really didn't want to give me the king bed with the view, why not just be honest that he can't/won't upgrade me, or allow me to speak to his manager? Why the passive-aggressive 10-minute disappearance?
I went down to the lobby, this time entering the VIP room. A very nice girl at the desk there apologized, and gave me some clarity.
"That Platinum room -- it's not for Cosmopolitan Platinum members. It's for Marriott Platinum."
Apparently Marriott has some sort of association with the Cosmopolitan.
"They don't give the same level of service in there as we do in this room," she explained. She then upgraded me to my usual 1-bedroom suite.
I told her about the $50 rollaway charge.
"Apparently that employee wasn't trained very well," she said. "Platinum members always get the rollaway for free."
I told her that I wanted to speak to this guy's direct supervisor. I wanted to get him in some trouble for the phony 10-minute "search" he did while we stood like chumps in the lobby.
She got me the Cosmopolitan Resort Manager. The woman was very nice and told me that "This isn't the way we do things here", and was extremely apologetic. She gave me a $100 food credit for my trouble without me asking. She agreed that there were plenty of king rooms with a view available, and that "Our policy is to give them to guests upon request. We don't ever lie about rooms being unavailable here. If the bed type exists, we give it to you."
She agreed that it was likely that the employee was annoyed with my first request for the "free" rollaway bed, and decided to punish me when I gave him a second request for the view.
She then looked at my reservation and told me something very revealing.
"Not to defend his actions, but I do see something that contributed here," she told me. "Whoever made this reservation forgot to note that you were a Platinum member. So he didn't realize that when he was dealing with you."
I told her that nobody should be treated that way, regardless of their status, especially the phony 10-minute wait.
"I agree," she said, "And we will be handling this to make sure this doesn't happen again."
I'd like to believe that's true.
Unfortunately, I think that I just experienced the vast difference between the "Platinum member" and the "Regular Joe" treatment at the Cosmo -- a place that has been long-accused of being pretentious.
Here's what I think really happened:
I went to the "Platinum" room to check in, not realizing it was for Marriott Platinums and not Cosmo Platinums. Being a Cosmo employee, obviously he doesn't give a shit about Marriott Platinums.
I ask for a rollaway bed and he quotes me the standard charge. I object to this, and he already has "Cheap bastard" bells ringing in his head, thinking that an asshole like me getting the room for free can afford the fucking $50 per night rollaway charge.
I continue to argue, so he goes and asks his manager. The manager asks, "Is this a family, or just three adult Jews trying to avoid paying for two rooms?" When he revealed it was for a kid, the manager (likely not the high-level one I dealt with) probably ok'd it.
Then I asked for a room with a view, and the guy really looked down on me. He probably thought, "Wow... here I get him the fucking free bed, and now he thinks he's entitled to free views? You know what? Fuck him. I'm going to go to the back, take a break, and make this prick wait for awhile before I give him the final NO."
He does all of this thinking that I'm just a regular Cosmo guest, rather than one of their Platinum members, and nobody is going to care if he fucks with me. Wouldn't surprise me if he and his manager sat and LOL'd at me for those 10 minutes.
I don't even know if he got in trouble. Perhaps the explanation of, "It didn't say he was a Platinum" would be good enough, if the way I was treated was standard for their "regular" clientele.
It's funny, because up until this visit, everything was extremely smooth. I would walk into the VIP check-in, they would be polite to the point of asskissing, automatically give me a 1-bedroom suite, and offer me a free cocktail. I knew that I was getting better treatment due to my status there, but I never knew that the other side of the coin there was so shitty.