I have to be honest:
1.) I absolutely love these fast food threads. You guys know how to have some good, clean, fun from time-to-time.
2.) Wendy's is just the best.
3.) No, really. It is. I shouldn't even really have to elaborate, but I will.
A.) Wendy's has the most consistent product when it comes to their mainline foods.
-When you go to Wendy's for a #1 Dave's Double (the single is insufficient and the Triple is not an optimal meat/toppings ratio) you know exactly what you are going to be getting. If you are in the continental United States, you can count on a hot and satisfying two never-frozen beef patties, two slices of American cheese, pickles, (usually) fresh and crisp WHOLE LEAF+++ Lettuce and fresh and crisp tomatoes and crispy onions.
-That's fucking delicious and very consistent. The only thing that can sometimes vary a bit is the general quality of the vegetables, but usually, when you find a Wendy's (and there are likely to be multiple Wendy's options in your general area) with the crisp and fresh veg, the veg is always crisp and fresh at that location.
-Are there Wendy's that you should maybe avoid? Sure, but those are few and far between. Also, I would suggest the same is true at most large-enough fast food chains. For example, you should avoid EVERY MCDonald's, except maybe for breakfast, but only if there's not a Wendy's available.
B.) Wendy's now has the BEST breakfast.
-Wendy's has the best breakfast and makes the hot and fresh breakfast sandwiches to order. You really shouldn't do it more than once every couple of months, but Wendy's came out of the gate and absolutely humiliated McDonald's with their flaky and buttery breakfast biscuits. The obvious choice (and main reason this needs to be a rare a.m. luxury) is the breakfast Baconator combo which consists of brioche bun, crispy strips of applewood bacon of surprising quality, enough American cheese to send Jack Black into an immediate massive coronary and also some Swiss cheese sauce. My advice is to ask them to hold the Swiss cheese sauce if you're driving...and it's also a little much anyway.
-These and other breakfast combos come with Wendy's breakfast potatoes, which are just fucking ridiculous and unholy. They're so good. These Whore of Babylon seasoned potatoes are vile temptresses that will have you begging for more as you open Pandora's Box to discover natural skin-on potatoes with delicious, and ample, black pepper and garlic seasoning.
-Wendy's coffee used to absolutely suck, but I think they realized that had to improve if they wanted to do breakfast. It has. You can drink it black and won't be choking it down every sip like McDonald's coffee---which tastes like mud. Better still, if there happens to be a Burger King nearby, get some orange juice with your combo and go grab a BK Joe for your coffee; I'll always defend that BK has great coffee, when it's not cold. That's id that Burger King uses Seattle's Best, of course, but most (if not all) do.
C.) Wendy's Fries are NOT that bad.
-I know, I know, McDonald's dominates the fry game in the minds of most people...and their fries, I must admit, are pretty crunchy and good in the rare event they are actually hot...but Wendy's fries are not bad. Wendy's uses natural skin-on fresh cut potatoes in making their fries and, while the seasonings are a bit weak in this case, you can use sauces if you wish. I'm fine with the fries as they are. I admit they aren't the best, but nor are they terrible.
-Personally, I think they should serve the breakfast potatoes around the clock. Those things kick ass.
D.) Wendy's has chili, I guess.
-I imagine some people like chili; I do, but not from Wendy's. Still, if chili is your bag, then Wendy's has it and others don't. I could see where pouring chili on the fries might be okay and Wendy's may or may not have sour cream...I think they do for the baked potatoes.
E.) Wendy's has baked potatoes.
-I'll take the fries, or better still, the breakfast potatoes...but the baked potato is an option. Maybe the chili tastes good on it. Not for me. How would I ever get the chili when I can have a Dave's Double?
F.) Wendy's has the custom pop dispenser at many locations.
-I like a 50/50 of Dr. Pepper and Vanilla Root Beer.
G.) Wendy's has a hysterical Twitter.
-It speaks for itself. Check it out. You can also report customer service issues to them, via Twitter. You probably can on Burger King, as well, but Burger King doesn't care if you live or die and Wendy's donates money to help out with fostering/child adoption.*
*I wanted to do a McDonald's joke instead of Burger King, but McDonald's has the Ronald McDonald houses which are actually a pretty terrific program.
H.) The Wendy's app sometimes works as intended.
-You can earn points and get special coupons with the Wendy's app...when the store's computer actually feels like recognizing it. That's much better than trying to use a McDonald's coupon, which often...somehow...actually causes the price to increase. It's usually because the coupons do not apply to combos, so then the system defaults to treating your coupon (with something like fries) as constituting totally separate items which cost more than getting the combo, even with the coupon. It's pretty stupid. Wendy's just usually gives you something straight up free with a purchase or $2 off a combo, which is not stupid.
Those are the reasons why Wendy's is, objectively, the best overall fast food location. I suppose you guys are welcome to debate me on this OBJECTIVE FUCKING FACT, but I don't know why you would as you can only lose.
+++Shredded Lettuce is for fucking peasants.