Need cruise tips

[HoodedN]

I'm going on my first cruise in 2 days and would appreciate some helpful pointers. Leaving out of ft Lauderdale to San Juan, st Thomas and st maarten. Cruise line is celebrity.

[Daly]

First move would have been to go princess as the Daly family has some connections that could have helped.

See if you can buy water ahead of time. Some lines will let you buy a case of water for the room before sailaway at .50 a bottle. Second the ship pulls away its $3 a pop.

St Martenn is the cheapest booze prices so if you want to take home bottles that's the spot. When you go through customs tell them you got the bottles in St Thomas. St M is a two bottle limit per adult St T is 5 per person.

Daly Sr was in St M about two weeks ago - he said the Dutch side was put back together fairly well but he French side was a bit of a shit show. My personal favorite tours on St M was the ATV ride around the island. Well worth the $70 or whatever.

St Thomas is a shopping port for sure. Make sure you get a "bushwacker". It's the local version of a Long Island ice tea but it tastes like a milkshake. This is faggot but if you need tablecloths or other linens St T is the place for that.

I heard San Juan is still a shit show but I've honestly never been.

Don't be afraid to shoot the lock off the wallet for the upgraded dinners. Can't speak for this cruise line but it's well worth it for Princess and Royal

Take a bottle of wine with you per person and make sure you remember a corkscrew so they don't charge you a "corkage fee"

Get a plastic bottle of booze and roll it into your clothes.

Good luck

[JACKDANIELS]

PM BOTTOMSET FOR ANY TIPS YOU NEED ABOUT CRUISES AS HE HAS BEEN TO THE CAYMAN ISLANDS AND ALASKA VERY RECENTLY

[JACKDANIELS]

BUT IF YOU ARE NOT LIQUID AS FUCK THEN HIS ADVICE MAY NOT BE FOR YOU

[Dan Druff]

Never taken Celebrity before, but...

- Do not do shore excursions with the ship. They are expensive and shitty. I would rent a car in St. Thomas and San Juan (arrange this beforehand, you don't have to pay til you arrive), and take a taxi in St. Maarten.

- Eat at the specialty restaurants. It's a bit of an upcharge, but not that bad, and the food/atmosphere/service is far better.

- Do not pahticipate in any of the for-pay "games to win prizes" onboard like Deal or No Deal, as they are bordering on a scam

- Poker players are terrible, but so is the rake -- usually 10% up to $25 on a 2/5 game. I refuse to play

- Do not play 6:5 blackjack on the ship

- Do not play any slot machines, as they are even worse than Vegas slot machines

- Do not play video poker, as the pay tables suck

- Do not buy any art onboard, as this is a borderline scam

- Report any maintenance issues with the room immediately. They have a maintenance staff who can fix things -- even a carpenter is usually on board! Don't just tolerate malfunctions or broken things in the room

- First-level customer service will be terrible, as they hire third world people for peanuts and train them poorly. Always get managers/officers to handle things if you aren't getting satisfaction

- I see it's too late for changing your booking, but it's usually best to get at least a balcony room. Also, never have more than 2 people in a room, unless the 3rd person is a very small child

- Ask for conditioner when you get onboard, because the shampoo is garbage and will turn your hair into a stringy mess. They will usually give it to you for free. And this is from a guy who never uses conditioner at home.

- Research what to do at the ports beforehand. I can give you a few suggestions for those 3 ports, if you want.

- Keep your wife/gf away from the spa if possible, as it's very expensive

- Don't buy any jewelry onboard, nor should you go to any of their "recommended shopping spots" at the port. Horrible prices masked as a "great deal", and again a borderline scam.

- Oh, another room booking tip (too late again), always make sure you don't have a connecting door (noisy), and try to stay away from being directly below/above a noisy area of the ship like the buffet, pool, or showroom

- Another booking tip: You'll get the best value in most cases by booking about 1-2 months before the cruise, though this doesn't work on "rare" itineraries which only go a few times per year

- Make sure to get a drink package if you're going to drink a lot onboard, as those charges can rack up quickly otherwise


In general, be mindful of any upcharges and be careful, as it can turn from a great value to a terrible value very quickly.

Also be aware that you need to know what to expect and not to expect, otherwise you will have a shitty time. Have a good plan of what you want to do there, what you want to do at the ports, and you probably will have a good time. The people who hate cruises are the ones who just show up and expect to be entertained 24/7.

[JACKDANIELS]

great tips todge make sure you dont spend any money doing fun things on the cruise just spend all your time in your cabin posting on pfa

[simpdog]

Even with the shit rake poker is usually +EV if you somewhat know what you're doing.

That being said I agree with JD. You're on vacation this isn't the time to be trying to squeak out +EV gambling/shopping/etc.

Spend your money and have a great time. You will be back to work next week.

[HoodedN]

Never taken Celebrity before, but...

- Do not do shore excursions with the ship. They are expensive and shitty. I would rent a car in St. Thomas and San Juan (arrange this beforehand, you don't have to pay til you arrive), and take a taxi in St. Maarten.

- Eat at the specialty restaurants. It's a bit of an upcharge, but not that bad, and the food/atmosphere/service is far better.

- Do not pahticipate in any of the for-pay "games to win prizes" onboard like Deal or No Deal, as they are bordering on a scam

- Poker players are terrible, but so is the rake -- usually 10% up to $25 on a 2/5 game. I refuse to play

- Do not play 6:5 blackjack on the ship

- Do not play any slot machines, as they are even worse than Vegas slot machines

- Do not play video poker, as the pay tables suck

- Do not buy any art onboard, as this is a borderline scam

- Report any maintenance issues with the room immediately. They have a maintenance staff who can fix things -- even a carpenter is usually on board! Don't just tolerate malfunctions or broken things in the room

- First-level customer service will be terrible, as they hire third world people for peanuts and train them poorly. Always get managers/officers to handle things if you aren't getting satisfaction

- I see it's too late for changing your booking, but it's usually best to get at least a balcony room. Also, never have more than 2 people in a room, unless the 3rd person is a very small child

- Ask for conditioner when you get onboard, because the shampoo is garbage and will turn your hair into a stringy mess. They will usually give it to you for free. And this is from a guy who never uses conditioner at home.

- Research what to do at the ports beforehand. I can give you a few suggestions for those 3 ports, if you want.

- Keep your wife/gf away from the spa if possible, as it's very expensive

- Don't buy any jewelry onboard, nor should you go to any of their "recommended shopping spots" at the port. Horrible prices masked as a "great deal", and again a borderline scam.

- Oh, another room booking tip (too late again), always make sure you don't have a connecting door (noisy), and try to stay away from being directly below/above a noisy area of the ship like the buffet, pool, or showroom

- Another booking tip: You'll get the best value in most cases by booking about 1-2 months before the cruise, though this doesn't work on "rare" itineraries which only go a few times per year

- Make sure to get a drink package if you're going to drink a lot onboard, as those charges can rack up quickly otherwise


In general, be mindful of any upcharges and be careful, as it can turn from a great value to a terrible value very quickly.

Also be aware that you need to know what to expect and not to expect, otherwise you will have a shitty time. Have a good plan of what you want to do there, what you want to do at the ports, and you probably will have a good time. The people who hate cruises are the ones who just show up and expect to be entertained 24/7.

Thanks Todd. I'll take those tips you offered. Here, pm or text. However you wanna pass it along

[HoodedN]

Girlfriend got her boss to pay for Wi-Fi package so he will be able to reach her via email. Also forgot to mention, the cruise was comped from a casino, we just paid taxes and flight to fort Lauderdale

[The_Lurker]

1. Don't be a jew and ruin your cruise, pay for the things that you want. A cruise is all about what YOU want.

2. Send you wife to the spa, and tell her money is no issue, get what you want. She will be so happy you pampered her you will most likely get blown.

3. google how to smuggle booze on a cruise, just one stiff cocktail a night in the room before you go out will pay for your wife's spa.

4. Even with the criminal rake, cruise poker is +ev, the players suck.

5. Go to the nice restaurants, it's worth it.

6. at most ports you can hire a guy with a mini van for the day for less than $150. he will take you everywhere and drink beer with you.

7. don't be a jew

[Dan Druff]

Even with the shit rake poker is usually +EV if you somewhat know what you're doing.

That being said I agree with JD. You're on vacation this isn't the time to be trying to squeak out +EV gambling/shopping/etc.

Spend your money and have a great time. You will be back to work next week.

If you are going to shoot off $ recklessly, it's better to take a non cruise vacation which you will enjoy more for less money.

There are places to spend on cruises (speciality restaurants, for example), but other spots are either a borderline scam or horrendous value even by vacation standards.

I know people who come back from cruises saying they spent $10k and had a shitty time.

On the flip side you have idiot cheapskates who won't spring for the $20/pp to have the much better dinner because the main dining room is free, or will stuff a family of 4 into an inside cabin.

[Dan Druff]

Nobody on this site is good enough at NL Holdem to beat a 10% rake game, btw.

[El Gallo]

Book a handicapped suite room. If no handicapped person shows up you get to stay and the bathroom and balcony are nearly twice the size. Used this one many times.

[hongkonger]

Make sure you don't eat food cooked by Honduran Willie.

[Baron Von Strucker]

The main thing I have herd is to bring a few 16oz plastic cups for as the ones provided are flimsy. Even better if it is insulated.

Have a great time!

[OSA]

Book a handicapped suite room. If no handicapped person shows up you get to stay and the bathroom and balcony are nearly twice the size. Used this one many times.

Wow, that is a fucking great idea. Kudos

[WillieMcFML]

be sure not to be thrown overboard or have your gf get gang raped as you have little to no recourse

also hope variance doesn’t smack you in the face with the beginning of a zombie apocalypse

but most importantly, have fun

[simpdog]

Nobody on this site is good enough at NL Holdem to beat a 10% rake game, btw.

Have you played 1/2 or 2/5 on a cruise ship lately?

Even in 2016 people were so drunk they were throwing money away. Likely 2-3 could play poker the rest were awful.

You don't need to be good, you need to play ABC poker and wait for your cards.

I'm sure 2018 is the same.

[HoodedN]

I am 100% going to be playing poker. Probably a lot

[PLOL]

PM OSA for tips on cruising.